Lately I am so Angry!!

S

sparrow

Cathlete
Does anyone else go through this? I dealt with my anger in therapy, about five years ago, and thought I had a handle on it. But the last few months...wow! I'm getting upset over really stupid things, like the person who drives too slowly in the fast lane, or the fact that I ran out of tape while wrapping Xmas presents. When I get angry like that I feel as if I could literally tear someone or something to shreds (though I DO NOT rage at the people around me). It's more like an internal mega frustration.

Anyone else go through this, over silly things? What do you do to manage it, other than BC or KPC :p

Sparrow
 
nah, you're not alone ;) I think we all have those moments. You kind of summed up what I do though - hard workouts. After that I'm too tired to care if I'm pissed!


"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"


Debbie
 
I know my attitude as changed over the last year or so.I use to be more easy going then what I am now.I also liked to socialize with people more then I do now.Now I have to be in the mood to do something or I won't do it.And I don't mean just going out, I mean answering the phone,the door, returning calls....you get the pic.
I started a new job last year and unless I am busy I don't get to see many people.The jobs I had before that I was always around people I knew and people I didn't know.So I don't know if my recent job as changed me into liking time with myself more.
I got off topic there didn't I?:)
I get mad at slow drivers,things falling,the dirt in the house..etc...I don't want to tear anyone to pieces or scream at the top of my lungs but I get mad enough to put me in a sour mood.I can keep my emotions under control if I want to.
So...........I don't know whats wrong with me either:+
Lori:)

Edited to add: I workout when I am moody and it puts me back into a good mood.Or I spend time with someone who cheers me up
 
I have a bad temper, but it's usually when someone does something to hurt me directly otherwise I stay pretty mellow. If you've had anger management therapy you should be able to know if your actions are normal or not. If someone drives too slowly in the fast lane or if you ran out of tape while wrapping presents maybe you can get frustrated and somewhat angry for a couple of seconds, but those are not things you can control and are not happening to hurt you directly so I think that getting so angry that you could "literally tear someone or something to shreads" like you mentioned is a little bit extreme. When things like that happen to me I usually laugh it off, although I admit the tape thing might be a little bit depressing if it happens in the middle of the night and I can't go out and buy more. If you think your anger is getting out of your control again (you've been there so you should be able to recognize the signs) remember to visit your doctor.
 
Sparrow, I get like that sometimes too. I went to a therapist for a year because of it. I had anger problems when I felt like I couldn't control things, if things weren't going the way that I had planned or "needed" them too. It is tough. When I feel like I am going to blow, before it gets out of control (because it will, I guarentee it) I go into a room all by myself and yell out all of my frustration and usually I end up crying the rest of it out. Then, if that doesn't wipe me out, I will go for a run or kickbox. Gotta get rid of that energy. After that I can think much more clearly and rationally.

Have you considered going back to therapy?

Missy
 
I think I know what you mean. I definitely have my moments. I'm half Italian--maybe that has something to do with it--LOL! I get frustrated over the same kinds of things, or at least it's those little things that set me off.

I can also generate some volume when I'm pissed off. Once I blow off the steam I'm okay--it's the people around me that I've lain to waste who then have a problem. I'll yell at my husband--maybe fling a little insult--then wonder why he's still upset after I've recovered from my tirade. I don't hang onto anger once I've vented, but the effects of it linger for those I've offended. Does that make sense? Anyway, I'm better than I used to be. I think control is part of the issue for me. I do like to be in the drivers seat.

ETA - Sparrow, do you think your recent feelings of anger could be related to your decision to get back to your writing? I know that when I begin new ventures the anxiety, even positve anxiety, can lead to bouts of anger and frustration.

Michele
 
One of my sons can't deal with any frustration and ends up having huge meltdowns (he's 11 and way too old for that behavior). I asked my friend - a therapist - for advice and she suggested self-talk/relaxation exercises.

She said to practice taking deep breaths and thinking, "I am" when you inhale and "relaxed" when you exhale. She said to practice this with my son regularly so that he has a relaxation technique that he can count on.

She also suggested telling yourself, "this is not a big deal" when you feel yourself getting angry about something silly.

Hope this helps!

Erica
 
I was getting like that and then I found out my hormones were out of whack. I really did not like myself when that was going on. I'm doing much better now.
 
I think this time of year brings it out, as well: there are more people in the stores (I felt homicidal after 15 minutes in Walmart the other day, with people stopping right in the middle of the aisles, and walking sloooowly down the middle of the aisle--and eing wide enough to block the entire aisle, so I had to leave!), more people on the roads, more stress in our lives (holidays, end of school semesters--stressful for both students and teachers---family obligations, etc. etc.).

Sounds like you could benefit from some anger management techniques.

I used to get angry to the extent you're talking about, in the past. And it seems like the anger just keeps building and building unless you find a way to short-circuit it.

Sometimes, I find that by making something angering into something silly makes me handle it better. Instead of wanting to kill the driver who cuts me off in traffic, I think to myself "what a poopie!" Who can take the epithet "poopie" seriously. It makes me laugh. I also make up swear words like "poop on a stick" (somehow "poop" is just silly to me rather than angry, and putting it on a stick is even odder). making a situation absurd or funny can help diffuse that anger.
 
>I think this time of year brings it out, as well: there are
>more people in the stores (I felt homicidal after 15 minutes
>in Walmart the other day, with people stopping right in the
>middle of the aisles, and walking sloooowly down the middle of
>the aisle--and eing wide enough to block the entire aisle, so
>I had to leave!), more people on the roads, more stress in our
>lives (holidays, end of school semesters--stressful for both
>students and teachers---family obligations, etc. etc.).
>
>Sounds like you could benefit from some anger management
>techniques.
>
>I used to get angry to the extent you're talking about, in the
>past. And it seems like the anger just keeps building and
>building unless you find a way to short-circuit it.
>
>Sometimes, I find that by making something angering into
>something silly makes me handle it better. Instead of wanting
>to kill the driver who cuts me off in traffic, I think to
>myself "what a poopie!" Who can take the epithet "poopie"
>seriously. It makes me laugh. I also make up swear words
>like "poop on a stick" (somehow "poop" is just silly to me
>rather than angry, and putting it on a stick is even odder).
>making a situation absurd or funny can help diffuse that
>anger.



Kathryn,

This is what I LOVE about you. You are brilliant and yet, very, very, funny!

Michele
 
Sounds like you're a type "C" personality. I'm the same way. Are you taking in a lot of caffeine during the day? I'm willing to bet that you are. Try cutting back. Drink more decaf. That should help a lot.

Editing to say I also LOVE Kathryn's idea about making light of things!

-Nancy
 
>Kathryn,
>
>This is what I LOVE about you. You are brilliant and yet,
>very, very, funny!
>
>Michele

Thank you , Michele, you're "not a poopie" yourself! ;-)
 
Thanks for the replies, Catheites :)

Nancy, what's a type "C" personality? I'm assuming the "C" stands for crabby, cranky, catankerous...:)

Kathryn, I am going to go the Poopie Head route. Just reading it made me laugh!!

Michele, I do think it has to do with writing/starting over. I'm so not where I wanted to be professionally at 36 years old and feel like a big ol' loser. :(

Anyway, thanks again for the replies. I posted in a fit of feeling sorry for myself and was embarrassed after the fact...

Sparrow
 
>Michele, I do think it has to do with writing/starting over.
>I'm so not where I wanted to be professionally at 36 years old
>and feel like a big ol' loser. :(
>
>Anyway, thanks again for the replies. I posted in a fit of
>feeling sorry for myself and was embarrassed after the
>fact...
>
>Sparrow


Oh Sparrow,

You are not a loser!!! And shame on you for even thinking it. Hey, I'm 50 years old and unemployed. I quit my job a couple of years ago and have never looked back. I work hard at home and it's a job I enjoy and my DH doesn't seem to mind one bit. I think he appreciates all that I can do on the home front now that I couldn't accomplish when I had a job. I asked if it was related to your writing because I know how I am when I start new ventures. The anxiety, even though it's positive at the root, can ause me to freak out until I settle in and get comfortable again. I think you are talented and witty and I can't wait to see what you do ;). You CAN do anything you want--just tell yourself that!

Michele
 
Just a note from something I experienced last week. A very good friend vented on me about something so inconsequential and really was out of line and quite hurtful. As Michele said, I was "lain to waste." I'm really having a hard time forgetting about this incident and all that she said. Just make sure you vent this, and vent it "properly." I'm still reeling from this unpleasant incident.
 
>
>Sometimes, I find that by making something angering into
>something silly makes me handle it better. Instead of wanting
>to kill the driver who cuts me off in traffic, I think to
>myself "what a poopie!" Who can take the epithet "poopie"
>seriously. It makes me laugh. I also make up swear words
>like "poop on a stick" (somehow "poop" is just silly to me
>rather than angry, and putting it on a stick is even odder).
>making a situation absurd or funny can help diffuse that
>anger.


Kathryn, you just saved my life....I am so going to use those anger words.

Robin
 
You know, I can be just like this. But then, I'll pause and ask myself why on earth it should matter that not all the cards will be posted today because I ran out of tape? Each time I let myself sweat the incredibly miniscule stuff I am aware of the frown line deepening between my eyebrows, of the increased levels of cortisol being unleashed through my bloodstream, of the fact that, given my personal history, this could trigger either a panic attack, or more recently, a migraine.

It just isn't worth it to me to let myself get worked up about things of such minor significance.

You want to get justifiably angry? Read the newspapers and turn on the radio. Listen to the continuous refusals of particular heads of state in countries whose names I will not mention and their refusal to ratify the Kyoto treaty to reduce greenhouse emissions. This willful disregard for the health, safety and questionable quality of life of future generations, that is something to get angry about.

Make your anger productive for you, or just get rid of it by putting it into perspective.

Clare
 
Clare, thanks for your response. I don't agree about the Kyoto Treaty :) but I take your point. I think that is one of the things I am frustrated with myself about too. I want to do something to make a difference and can't seem to get out of my own way. I remember when I was at Boston U., there was a plaque in one of the hallways that read, "Be ashamed to die until you have achieved some victory for humanity." (I think it's from HL Mencken). I've always been plagued by that quote :)

Ah, well, I am starting my disaster training with the Red Cross soon. Hopefully that will make me feel as if I am contributing in some way. Thanks again for your response.

Sparrow
 
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