Last straw!

pjlippert

pjlippert

Cathlete
Well, one too many complaints from my DS that he has "nothing to play with". So, I solved that problem for him and locked most of his toys in his closet and hid the key (it's up by my TV in my bedroom in case I forget! :p)

I have been threatening to do it for quite sometime. When he walked into his room (after refusing to help clean it up yet again) he said to me "there is hardly anything left to play with". Exactly!

I left a few of his favorite toys out like his Legos, some jets and his Leapster. Otherwise, books, coloring stuff- more cererbral things.

So, hmph!

Pam
 
Good for you! Let me know how it goes. I love how my kids complain about nothing to do when we just had Christmas!!

Jen
 
I will let you know! The funny note about this is I had warned him that I was "going to go Dr. Phil on him" if he didn't start appreciating what he has. When I came downstairs he asked me in all of his seven hear old wisdom "Mommy, did you just go Dr. Phil on me?" LOL!!
 
I remember feeling the same way as your son. When I'd complain that there was nothing to do, my mom would say "clean your room" and that ended the conversation. Don't get too frustrated with him, it's easy to get bored with things. How many Cathe workouts do you have because you need something fresh?
 
Is this the son that has ADHD? If not, ignore everything below! If so, consider the following...

Often kids w/ learning difficulties don't literally know what to do when you say, "Clean your room." You have to list out specific tasks. (Put all dirty clothes in the laundry hamper. Put all clean clothes on hangers or in your dresser drawers. Next, put legos in bin. etc.) Some parents actually take pictures of areas once they are clean/tidy so they can show their child the next time to say: "Make your room look like this picture."

Re: "Nothing to play w/". Again, for kids w/ learning disorders--often they have a harder time finding things to do. That can be also their code phrase for "Will you play w/ me because I'm feeling sad/anxious about something and I don't want to be by myself."

Just another perspective.
 
I agree, I've been told the following about giving specifics as well.

jonahnah said:
Is this the son that has ADHD? If not, ignore everything below! If so, consider the following...

Often kids w/ learning difficulties don't literally know what to do when you say, "Clean your room." You have to list out specific tasks. (Put all dirty clothes in the laundry hamper. Put all clean clothes on hangers or in your dresser drawers. Next, put legos in bin. etc.) Some parents actually take pictures of areas once they are clean/tidy so they can show their child the next time to say: "Make your room look like this picture."
Click to expand...
 
Hi Joan,

Yes, he does have ADHD. I had not even considered what you have suggested. :( I will try what you suggest with the pics and such. That is a great idea. As well as spending some more fun time with him. Sometimes it's overwhelming being a single parent and I tend to fall into the task-master out of habit. Thank you for your perspective!

Okay, Donna- you got me there with the Cathe DVD's! :eek: :rolleyes: I won't even count them! hehe

Pam
 
yes, you are paying for them and you are not complaining (abt Cathe workouts). I like doing my older ones alot anyways.
 
Pam, my DD and DH have ADD. I don't pick up for my daughter but I will go in and tell her where to start (e.g. start with putting all your clothes on your bed then putting them away). It helps to break the task down.

Still, if I had room and a closet that locked, I'd be tempted to put a lot of stuff in there when my DS complains of being bored!
 
I have mentioned this before - I have 2 add boys and I actually think you did a good thing because fewer choices can help kids focus. Having too many toys can be overwhelming to the point of not being able to enjoy them. Maybe he'll like having just a few things. Less distractions.

As for room cleaning - we label everything - every shelf, draw, bin - so they can put things in the right place easily.
 
cindi1 said:
I have mentioned this before - I have 2 add boys and I actually think you did a good thing because fewer choices can help kids focus. Having too many toys can be overwhelming to the point of not being able to enjoy them. Maybe he'll like having just a few things. Less distractions.

As for room cleaning - we label everything - every shelf, draw, bin - so they can put things in the right place easily.
Click to expand...


Hi again Pam,

Please know that I wasn't criticizing what you did and I think Cindy's comment above has a LOT of truth in it. Every kid is different, every case of ADHD is different & every situation is different. You truly know your son best!

I've learned so much the many wise people who post here so I'm passing along things I've tried that worked from my son, in my situation. For our family, it lessened a lot of the frustration (on all sides!) if I viewed things thru a different set of lenses, so to speak.

Parenting is never easy (unless you're doing it wrong!! :p) and I feel for you, juggling all you do as a single parent.

I don't believe in doing children's work for them--that's not to their benefit & it only teaches them to quit. I do believe in helping them to help themselves & that includes teaching them to say, "I don't know what that means exactly" or "I want to do this, but I'm not sure where to start."

If your son needs help finding things to keep him occupied, the 2 of you can sit down and make a list of 10 things to for him to do and post it to your fridge at his eye level. Then, he'll know to look there for ideas first when he's bored or lonely. Have him add to the list as he comes up w/ ideas of his own.

When my son was around that age, I would let him "cook." I'd put small amounts of a bunch of harmless inexpensive ingredients in mixing cups (dried rice, dried pasta, dried cereal, some water, etc.) and let him pour them into a large bowl & stir. He loved this! He felt important--like he was doing adult work. Soon, he graduated to really cooking his own pasta, toasting his own bagel & making his own pizza (from dough to oven!) So, play skills he learns now can reap big rewards down the road AND give him confidence in his abilities.

I'm sure you have MANY great ideas of your own! Me--I could never think of any on the spot so I had do it ahead of time so I'd be prepared for the inevitable, "What can I do? I'm bored."

Good luck!
 
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