Ladies from London....

[dss62467]

I think we have some British members here, right? Well I just have to ask about something. Do you think that the people from your country are less uptight than Americans?

This week I was in meetings with some of our collegues from London. It was the first time I met them, since I'm so new to my position. I definitely noticed that there seemed to be a more relaxed attitude about what was said by these guys than what I'm used to. I'm not sure if it's because now I'm in a more technical department than Human Resources, and people aren't as uptight about what's said, or if it's because I'm interacting with people from other countries. I have to clarify that nothing they said was in any way offensive to me, but that there was more freedom with four-letter words and jokes of a vaguely sexual nature.

Then at dinner the other night, the topic of how small I am came up. (Keep in mind that I'm only 5'0" tall) There aren't too many "shorties" around, so I'm definitely an anomoly. Anyway, one of the younger guys from London (early 30's) blurts out, "How much do you weigh anyway?" I just started laughing and told him that it's a rather rude question to ask a woman. And another of the American women told him that you never ask a woman how much she weighs. Obviously I wouldn't be ashamed of what my weight is, but I didn't answer the question.

I'm really thinking that because of all the ridiculous lawsuits that have been brought against employers and the imposition of other people's morality that seems to be going on in the county, we, as a nation, have got sticks up our butts. I found the atmosphere to be a breath of fresh air.

 

[CandiK]

European culture is much different from ours in so many ways. I love observing the differences. I also love visiting Europe.

On another note...Tony Blair and the UK have done a tremendous job searching out and finding the terrorists without decimating innocent lives. The Bush administration should be embarrassed. JMHO.

 

[dss62467]

Tony Blair is cute. I love his smile.

The Bush administration should be embarrassed about SO many things.}(

 

[Swissmom]

I live in Europe. And in any country, it is rude to ask a woman how much she weighs. There are alot of Brits around where I live. Some love Americans, some hate us. It all depends on how they feel about our politics.

 

[clareMc]

Speaking as a Londoner......

On the whole I do not think the British people are an uptight lot. There is still the old image of the stiff upper lip and all that nonsense, but that was always a portrait of the landed classes anyway and barely applies. The "uptightness" of the USA stems, I believe, from a over-zealous ahderence to political correctness, a puritanical streak as concerns sexuality and as you rightly surmised, a litigious society.

Having said that, we still maintain professional codes of conduct and ethics in the business world and it seems to me that these "blokes" certainly over-stepped the mark, especially during the business meeting. No self-respecting professional from the UK would ask a woman her weight, comment on how tiny she is, nor makes jokes with sexual innuendo.

I suspect that these "gentlemen" dared to be so familiar with you because they are away from home and because they were lads together. There's something about certain men when they get together that erodes their civilized, external veneer and incites them into laddish behaviour. Also, when people are away from home they act differently to how they act at home. A British professional woman who received these remarks would have dealt a swift kick in the shins under the business table or contrived to spill their coffee in their laps. We don't put up with bullshit either.

What you have to factor into this also is the impression/stereotype a lot of Brits have about American people: that they are loud and brash and in your face. So, they might have acted towards you ladies because they had mistaken the stereotypes for reality and acted in a way that they assumed would be welcome.

The fact that you (American lady) found this to be a breath of fresh air and I (Londoner) read them to be complete arseholes is somewhat intriguing!!!

Clare

 

[dss62467]

Clare - I think I made it seem like it was much more than it was. The sexual innuendo remarks were very VERY mild, and not directed toward me or anyone in the room. Just a stupid joke. And the language, I think the "f-word" was used a couple times, as was sh**, but in a totally conversational way without any intention to be offensive.

The behavior of the guys was in total keeping with the atmosphere of the meeting. Everyone in the room, except for me, have been working together quite closely for a while and they have achieved a certain comfort level. And I believe the comment on how tiny I am was raised by an American.

Being that it was the second day we were together, they had already formed the impression of me that I was private and reserved and could in no way assume that I was loud and brash. I hardly opened my mouth at all, other than to introduce myself when I came in. It was just a learning experience for me and I had no input for the meeting. So I just sat back and kept quiet. I'm the type of person who doesn't talk in meetings unless I have something worth saying. Sometimes that's just a joke, but not until I know everyone well enough.

They definitely weren't complete "arseholes". Overall, they were actually quite polite and friendly. Very much gentlemen, I would say. It's just that I haven't heard someone use the heavy-hitting swear words in an office in quite sometime and I found it a bit weird. I've spent the last 6 years of my life really paying attention to what I say, and I'm happy that I'm in an environment where I won't be shunned for slipping on occassion.