Is anyone resigned?

smurfette

Cathlete
I'm happy with my workouts and I'm loving the cross train DVD's. I'm making gains and enjoying greater strength and stamina. Im going to get the Intensity series and other DVD's as soon as I can.

At the same time I think that pushing myself to eat clean is too stressful right now. I'm resigned that I will remain a strong fit woman who remains 45 pounds overweight.

I have no intention of quitting my workouts. They feel way to good and it lights up my life. I just have given up on figuring out how to win my battle with food. Maybe those kinds of breakthroughs will happen in the future. It's possible. But, I feel that I put waaaaay too much pressure on myself to figure it all out and look like a fitness model within six months. It gives me stress and I end up loathing myself for blowing it day after day.

I'm officially downshifting.

Is anyone else in this boat?

Danna
 
That's okay Danna! Just do what you CAN do right now. It's great to see that you have implemented exercise on a permanent basis. Woo-Hooo! I truly think if you continue to hang out here, that eventually lots of the tips you hear about will start to sink in. Even if you start with SMALL things like drinking more water daily, then in a week or two try adding something else. It is not a race. We are in this for ourselves. Sooo, do what you want to do when you want to do it! :7 Glad to have you here.
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
I found, over 14 years ago, that the day I let go of worrying about what the scale said, about controlling each and every bite that went into my mouth, and instead just focused on moving more and being generally sensible about eating, was precisely the same day that everything started to normalize itself in my life and physique.

Good for you for getting to this point, Danna. It isn't "resigning yourself". It's putting things in their proper perspective. We shouldn't be in an adversarial relationship with food, and we should enjoy our workouts for the activity as well as the afterward-benefits.

I'll be in your boat if you'll be in mine.

A-Jock
 
I've finally given up on dieting after 25 years of it--and I'm only 33! I've finally figured out they don't work. It's a hard thing to do though to just accept yourself after all the years of trying to change, so I've enrolled in an online course called HUGS which is all about the non dieting lifestyle and learning to just accept yourself. One thing I have found is that being a regular exerciser is helping me tremendously. If nothing else I feel good about doing that.
 
Oh Danna...I hate to see anyone give up on healthier eating. That extra weight is putting untold stress on your cardio vascular system, your back and your legs/feet.

Maybe you just need to change your goal right now? Pehaps instead of waking up every morning and saying gee...I'm 45 pounds overweight and I'm always going to be...get out of bed and tell yourself that today is the first day of starting to eat better so you can drop 20 of those extra pounds. Baby steps...you'll be more successful if you take weight loss and fitness in baby steps. And I officially give you permission to NOT be a fitness model on the cover of Muscle and Fitness!

This is a common problem and misconception...don't get so bogged down on what you want to look like...keep your physical health foremost. Carrying around that extra weight is just plain not healthy for you...and can lead to many health problems just like smoking does. So concentrate your efforts on eating better to make your whole body healthier...not just slender so you can wear those tight leather pants!

Always keep your long term goal in mind...you want to lose the weight so you'll live longer and be healthier in your golden years.

I hope you don't think I'm too hard or not sympathetic to your cause. I just hate to see someone give up and be complacent about being overweight. Your heart is the most valuable muscle you have and you are the only person who can keep it healthy. :)
 
It's funny you mentioned the scale. I just realized how much anxiety the scale gives me. Thinking about weighing myself, planning when to do it, preparing myself emotionally to accept that number that is going to show up. Bracing myself for when I can see what the weekend did.

I'm done. I only care if my pants are getting too snug.

I admit that it will be a huge challenge to stop weighing myself. It has a strange appeal.

Danna
 
Danna: I think we're in similar boats. I have been struggling with 20 extra pounds for five years, and no matter what I do, I can't budge one of them. After trying every diet known to man, I made a pact with myself that I would concentrate on being healthy and not on my clothing size. I continue to exercise consistently for 5-6 days a week ( I love it), and I continue to eat well to keep myself healthy. So, while I am resigned that I may never look good in a bathing suit again, I refuse to throw my hands up in the air and eat foods that I know are detrimental to my health. I'm not a fanatic about it, and I will occasionally have a splurge food or treat, but my choices are more often based on how I want to LIVE and FEEL, not on how I want to LOOK. Does any of this make sense to you? I hope so. I feel like I'm rambling.

Lynda
 
Hi Danna! What works for some people is to take one step at a time & this is what you need to do. Try eating a really good breakfast for the 1st week; the following week try incorporating a better lunch now you have a good breakfast & lunch. Stick to this for 2 weeks. The 3rd week try incorporating a good dinner & again stick to this. Snacks whenever your hungry eat fruit & cut up veggies. Make sure you already have veggies cut up in platic bags & right in front of you in the refrigerator. After a month of doing it this way you'll be surprised just how easy it is. HTH, Kathy:D

PS: Drink plenty of water but I know you already knew this.:7
 
An interesting tidbit to consider regarding whether losing weight actually is healthier for you. In the Framingham Heart Study which monitored 5000 people for more than 40 years, people who lost 10 percent of their body weight had a 20 percent reduction in risk of heart disease. HOWEVER, people who gained back that 10 percent of weight increased their risk of heart disease by 30 percent. In other words, stabilizing at a higher weight is healthier than losing and regaining weight.

Also, achieving ideal weight for a large person would gain only an extra .5 to 1.1 years of life for the average woman. Granted, there are some issues in regards to quality of life--which is where exercise can greatly come into play.

I'm not advocating eating unhealthy, I'm just saying being overweight isn't necessarily as bad as it seems.
 
Great suggestions everyone.

Not giving up on eating healthy, I love good clean food. I love fixing healthy food for my family. My struggle is overeating and the junk food binges.

The problem is that I have extremist tendencies accompanied with a lot of negative thinking. It is either all or nothing for me. I start out right, have a lapse and get despondent.

Put a lot of pressure on myself.

The downshifting is a good idea. I don't see it as permission to splurge and lose control. I see it as permission to relax and enjoy the journey more.

I'm letting go of the thinking that if I don't master it now, it will never happen. If I don't get it done in the next six months-I'm a complete failure.

I do believe that this journey is like eating a whale,(no pun intended!).

If I take small bites and chew very slow- in 89 years, I will finish the whale. . (I wonder how much omega fatty acids that would be? )

thanks for the encouragement. Not giving up on the trying, just the negative opinions and rediculous standards of performance.

Danna
 
"I'm just saying being overweight isn't necessarily as bad as it seems."

Staci, I have to disagree with that statement 100%. We all have an ideal weight range for our height and those numbers have been the result of decades of data collected from the medical community. Being overweight which is almost always the result of poor eating habits, and lack of adequate exercise...is the cause of many physical disorders in our society. Heart disease, diabetes being the top two chronic disorders that being overweight can cause...physical disorders such as the need for joint replacements is a serious consideration when someone says being overweight isn't necessarily as bad as it seems.

I'm trying not to scold you but you need to really think about what you are telling yourself. You are making excuses so it's 'okay' to be overweight. Eating properly is work. It's always easier to grab a candy bar than make a salad. It's easier to slash open that bag of chips then to cut up an orange or a head of cauliflower. This is why our society is so overweight...everyone wants to do as little work as possible. Conveinence is the name of the game.

Well, you can change that IF you want to. Another poster has said...buy those fresh veggies and cut them up and keep them in the fridge. Then when you want a snack you will be more likely to eat something that's good for you and has fiber in it than to eat junk and crap that is only going to make you fat and possibly contribute to a long term health disorder. Diabetes is in the news everyday and it is a very serious and life altering disease...for which there is no cure. Diabetics rarely live into old age. Think about that...REALLY think about it. Don't you want to see your grandchildren grown up and be at their weddings? I do. And that's why I take good care of myself. My MIL has had two knee replacements because she was then...always 50 pounds overweight. Well, after struggling through the recoveries she has finally started a daily walking program, cut the junk foods out and she NOW is at her ideal weight range. Now, had she just done that 5 years ago she may not have needed those knee replacements. And she still may need a hip replacement but she gets around better since losing the weight. This is what I'm talking about. Not eating healthy so you can fit into a teeny-tiny swimsuit...but thinking about your longterm health. You may be young and vital and overweight now...but if you don't take better care of yourself you will have health issues down the road.

And our society's bad eating habits are also why so many young children are being diagnosed with diabetes every year. They eat too much sugar and they drink too many sugary drinks. And that is the result of our lazy eating habits and it being easier to grab a box of twinkies than make a sandwich after school. Don't even get me started on all the sugar cereals our children eat in this country. How many kids get home from school and what is the snack they grab...a bowl of cereal. And what food is more highly processed and bad for us?

You can change your health simply by changing your eating habits. Stop keeping junk food in the house. Start buying fresh fruits and vegetables and serve them with every meal. Instead of opening that obiquitous can of corn for supper...steam a head of broccoli. The easiest and best way to get more veggies into your daily meals is with stir fries. Cut up any combo of vegetables and toss them in your pan. There are thousands of recipes on the internet and most of them very simple in preparation and ingredients.

Really Staci, what you eat is maybe more important than how much you exercise. Because no amount of exercise can reduce the health risks of a poor diet. I may be lecturing you, but my heart is really in the right place. I want to see you take better care of yourself but only you can do that and all I can do is lecture you from my computer.

I didn't used to be so vocal about good health. I have a very overweight cousin...she's probably at least 200# over weight. She tried and tried for years to get pregnant and finally did conceive twins with an in-vitro procedure. We were all very thrilled for her and her H. They are both wonderful people...always kind and helping others. While she was in labor waiting for her doctor to get there to perform a planned C-section...she had a heart attack. Thank God she is fine and those two babies still have their mother but her doctor kept warning her that labor would not be easy for someone so overweight and the stress on her heart could be life threatening. Well, he was right. She now will be on heart meds for the rest of her life...she's 35 years old. And yes, she is still very overweight and has no plans to lose any of it or improve her eating. So basically she is putting her health at risk given her history with no regard for the two children she brought into this world. That's just maddening to me.

So please, don't be complacent with your health. You may not get a second chance. Every little thing you do today to improve your lifestyle goes a long way to improving your health. Change one bad eating habit a week. Start by eliminating that bag of chips or whatever...and replacing it with pretzels. Drink water and tea instead of pop or fruit juices. Sports drinks are just as bad because they have sugar in them. Keep your house stocked with foods that are not highly processed. Fresh vegetables, frozen vegetables and plenty of fresh fruits and melons. Cut these items up and put into containers so it's easy for you and the other members of your household to just pull them out of the fridge and grab a handful.

Bad habits are hard to break and good habits are just as hard to start but with effort you can do it! :)
 
Danna! Now THAT'S a healthy approach to life. Indeed, if we put too much pressure on ourselves we are almost sure to fail. Relax and enjoy the jouney...I couldn't have said it better myself!
 
Hi Danna,
Last yr, March 3rd, is when I went on my weight loss journey. I started out at 138 lbs, and I am 5'2" ... it's taken me until just a week or 2 ago to hit my goal weight, I lost 33 lbs....
It wasn't easy, was alot of work, I had to learn from scratch about clean eating, and it took awhile to clean up my diet, and I am still working on that one. It took work to push myself away from the plate when I was satisfied, not to overeat.......
Just take it one day at a time, and don't try to look at the big picture, you will get there....... Rhonda:7
 
Staci's comment was only partially quoted. Her full comment was, "I'm not advocating eating unhealthy, I'm just saying being overweight isn't necessarily as bad as it seems."

Healthy body composition (a proper ratio of lean mass and body fat to total body weight) is but one of 5 components of physical fitness. The others include cardiovascular/pulmonary/respiratory fitness, muscle strength, muscle endurance and flexibility. Indeed one CAN have excellent cardio-etc. fitness, be strong, have great muscle endurance and good limb flexibility, and still be overfat as defined by current medical principles. IMHO and in the opinion of a growing number of research authorities, four outta five ain't bad.

Plus, not to beat a horse I've been beating to death for years, what precisely does scale weight tell you? It does not tell you what the composition of your body weight is. It does not tell you how many pounds of fat, lean mass, bone, blood, water, waste matter or anything else you have. It just tells you you weigh X pounds at that moment in time. That doesn't tell you much.

When a person such as Danna suggests "letting go" of conscious, hyper-detailed control over food consumption and scale weight, there's usually a great concern that she will go hog-wild eating everything in sight and paying zero attention to healthy habits. Kind of like in earlier years when it was feared that, if women became their own decision-makers over sexual matters rather than a repressive patriarchal society, they would become licentious sluts. Both fears are fallacious. "Letting go" of control can often be the very door to a truly healthy life.

A-Jock
 
A-Jock...I agree with what you are saying but our society is a slave to the weight scale and I think changing that behavior will take more effort than changing eating habits. The current weight guidelines are not out-of-line so for people who want to determine their success by stepping on a scale...the weight ranges are there for them.

And it seems once you make the appropriate changes in your eating/food selection...and the excess weight comes off...people do tend to think more about what they are putting in their mouths and not so much about what the scale says because they feel better, have more energy and are sleeping better. :)
 
"40something" - your latest post is a tad contradictory, given that your earlier response to Staci dealt exclusively with "bad eating habits" and your most recent stating " . . . changing that behavior will take more effort than changing eating habits". I'm not sure what that means, but I stand by my skepticism about scale-weight obsession, as well as food-intake obsession that is 95% of the dialog about body-fat management.

Scale-weight obsession is a choice. Granted it is a society-wide choice, but as Krishnamurti said, "It is no sign of mental health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

Excess storage fat comes off healthfully through a combination of comfortably healthy eating choices (both what one eats and how much of it) AND exercise.

I still think Danna is on the right track, and I agree with Staci. Take everything in context; do not isolate one component of fitness to the exclusion of all the others. Let go of the "outcome", be responsible for the effort and enjoy the effort, and the benefits will naturally follow without having to police yourself.

A-Jock
 
Amen sister! I have given up on my journey, it was just too frustrating to try to eat clean at all meals and everyday. Not that I'm not trying to eat healthy, I am. But just not all the time. If I do that when I slip I beat myself up for it. It's not worth it.
I am trying to be more relaxed about it now. Which is not easy, strange, isn't it.

Kathy
 
Danna

I want to congratulate you for your decision. It takes courage and I know that.

Its worth it too! I gave up waging an internal war with myself to look perfect on the outside. White knuckling it through emotional eating by following a prescribed diet, too much exercise etc, NEVER works!

In my experience as an emotional eater, giving yourself the permission to eat what you want and stopping when you are full only leads to one thing - no more binging on 'forbidden' foods and more healthy choices. When there is no hankering for extra cals (bought on by diets) or a certain type of food (bought on by an obsession with clean eating), the real issues are left to be dealt with.

As far as health goes - a healthy weight cannot come at the price of emotional health. Healthy food choices are easy to make when you feel like looking after yourself. When you start depriving yourself or start locking yourself in small spaces, you will rebel.

Good luck and take care.
 
Brilliant decision, Danna. Leave the pressure and the perfectionism behind and you will wind up healthier and happier, and probably even slimmer! (I believe that most overweight in women is caused by dieting). When you ease up on yourself, everything gets better! :)
 

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