Increasing numbers of child-free by choice people
- Thread starter mogambo
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Aquajock
Cathlete
I am child-free by choice, and I've never experienced a moment's ambivalence about that. I do get the odd "oh, but you'd be a great mother / parent" sometimes (including from some here on the Cathe forums) but thankfully I've never been badgered about my choices as some have. DH is the same way.
I think that, in societal terms, we go through these massive pendulum swings between uber-family-values and "children-suck" mentalities. I think the "growing child-free movement" that we're seeing now is a bit of a backlash against the gross overmarketing, overidealizing and oversentimentalizing of parenthood in general and motherhood in particular.
I work in the field of domestic violence crime prosecution, and I've seen my fair share of police reports in which children were present. There are people out there, women and men alike, who should never, ever have children. They don't have any the intellectual, emotional or material resources needed for sound parenthood, and often they don't have the desire, but they bow to social pressure, or they just plain don't think. And there are a lot of functional, non-violent people who just plain don't want children (like me), and that should be respected. Although I'm a minority among women, thankfully that non-parental impulse has usually been respected. Sometimes not understood, but respected.
A-Jock
I think that, in societal terms, we go through these massive pendulum swings between uber-family-values and "children-suck" mentalities. I think the "growing child-free movement" that we're seeing now is a bit of a backlash against the gross overmarketing, overidealizing and oversentimentalizing of parenthood in general and motherhood in particular.
I work in the field of domestic violence crime prosecution, and I've seen my fair share of police reports in which children were present. There are people out there, women and men alike, who should never, ever have children. They don't have any the intellectual, emotional or material resources needed for sound parenthood, and often they don't have the desire, but they bow to social pressure, or they just plain don't think. And there are a lot of functional, non-violent people who just plain don't want children (like me), and that should be respected. Although I'm a minority among women, thankfully that non-parental impulse has usually been respected. Sometimes not understood, but respected.
A-Jock
kathryn
Cathlete
>I think that, in societal terms, we go through these massive
>pendulum swings between uber-family-values and "children-suck"
>mentalities. I think the "growing child-free movement" that
>we're seeing now is a bit of a backlash against the gross
>overmarketing, overidealizing and oversentimentalizing of
>parenthood in general and motherhood in particular.
>
Agreed. Remember when the sextuplets were born and the media seemed to be universally approving and supportive, with no one bringing up the environmental or population issues that could be related? One Chicago journalist did just that, and was very vociferously attacked for not going along with the general "kids are great, and the more the better" ideology.
>pendulum swings between uber-family-values and "children-suck"
>mentalities. I think the "growing child-free movement" that
>we're seeing now is a bit of a backlash against the gross
>overmarketing, overidealizing and oversentimentalizing of
>parenthood in general and motherhood in particular.
>
Agreed. Remember when the sextuplets were born and the media seemed to be universally approving and supportive, with no one bringing up the environmental or population issues that could be related? One Chicago journalist did just that, and was very vociferously attacked for not going along with the general "kids are great, and the more the better" ideology.
Well, DH and I are currently child-free by choice. Parenthood is one of those things that neither of us has ruled out completely, but neither of us feels any real desire to participate in.
I will say, however, that I find some of the anti-kid attitudes in that article a bit disturbing. I think some of the people described in there are as bad as those who feel they must push parenthood on anyone and everyone...just in the opposite view.
Some folks have kids and then become completely defined by them, losing any identity they had previously (i.e. endless conversations about pre-school, Pixar, ear infections, yadda, yadda, yadda). These are the acquaintances that I've come to avoid.
Others have kids and parenthood adds a dimension to their lives, but doesn't completely turn them into somebody else. They can actually become more interesting. In reality, these are usually the folks who were pretty interesting to begin with...and in my experience, end up having pretty interesting kids. These are the friends that I still maintain ties with and probably always will.
Gayle - child-free, but not anti-kid
I will say, however, that I find some of the anti-kid attitudes in that article a bit disturbing. I think some of the people described in there are as bad as those who feel they must push parenthood on anyone and everyone...just in the opposite view.
Some folks have kids and then become completely defined by them, losing any identity they had previously (i.e. endless conversations about pre-school, Pixar, ear infections, yadda, yadda, yadda). These are the acquaintances that I've come to avoid.
Others have kids and parenthood adds a dimension to their lives, but doesn't completely turn them into somebody else. They can actually become more interesting. In reality, these are usually the folks who were pretty interesting to begin with...and in my experience, end up having pretty interesting kids. These are the friends that I still maintain ties with and probably always will.
Gayle - child-free, but not anti-kid
T
trevor
Guest
That article is chock full of hatefulness towards children wouldn't you say?
"If you have children I am sorry to tell you this:They are not special." Well children are special to the parents who have them and love them. My children are special to me. The people in this article are not special to me.
I am all for anyone who chooses not to have kids but let's not start another special interest group who wants to cry about how they are being persecuted by society. I am not going to apologize because the government gives me a tax break for having kids. Why shouldn't I get a break? I am investing in the future of this country by raising kids if you want to look at it in that regard. My kids, and everyone else's kids, are the future. Parents should be rewarded to some degree for that. Same goes for flex time, maternity leave, etc. The childless people in this article are going to whine about not getting those perks? Tough sh#t! I don't get to hang out at the club until 3 am either! And again, nothing against people who choose not to have kids...but here's a question. While I am investing alot of my time and money in my children and thus helping to raise the future of this country, what are you doing? Investing in yourself, and yourself only most likely. Pretty selfish. Your choice of course. But that's the message this article has given to me. "It's the end of your life. You can't do anything. People ruin their lives by having kids, and then they try to ruin ours in theaters, or by clogging up both lanes of traffic in front of schools." That's from a 25 yr old bachelor in that article. Spoken like a true immature little baby who has no clue actually. Yep, we parents have got it in for you childless people, so watch out!!!
Also, the reply above from my favorite person concerning the sextuplets and how the media played that up. That really isn't the same issue. That is more for a discussion on whether people should be allowed to take fertility drugs, thus increasing the likelihood of multiple births.
Lastly, let's remember that all of us were children at one point.
Trevor
"If you have children I am sorry to tell you this:They are not special." Well children are special to the parents who have them and love them. My children are special to me. The people in this article are not special to me.
I am all for anyone who chooses not to have kids but let's not start another special interest group who wants to cry about how they are being persecuted by society. I am not going to apologize because the government gives me a tax break for having kids. Why shouldn't I get a break? I am investing in the future of this country by raising kids if you want to look at it in that regard. My kids, and everyone else's kids, are the future. Parents should be rewarded to some degree for that. Same goes for flex time, maternity leave, etc. The childless people in this article are going to whine about not getting those perks? Tough sh#t! I don't get to hang out at the club until 3 am either! And again, nothing against people who choose not to have kids...but here's a question. While I am investing alot of my time and money in my children and thus helping to raise the future of this country, what are you doing? Investing in yourself, and yourself only most likely. Pretty selfish. Your choice of course. But that's the message this article has given to me. "It's the end of your life. You can't do anything. People ruin their lives by having kids, and then they try to ruin ours in theaters, or by clogging up both lanes of traffic in front of schools." That's from a 25 yr old bachelor in that article. Spoken like a true immature little baby who has no clue actually. Yep, we parents have got it in for you childless people, so watch out!!!
Also, the reply above from my favorite person concerning the sextuplets and how the media played that up. That really isn't the same issue. That is more for a discussion on whether people should be allowed to take fertility drugs, thus increasing the likelihood of multiple births.
Lastly, let's remember that all of us were children at one point.
Trevor
T
trevor
Guest
Well said Gayle!
>And again, nothing against people
>who choose not to have kids...but here's a question. While I
>am investing alot of my time and money in my children and thus
>helping to raise the future of this country, what are you
>doing? Investing in yourself, and yourself only most likely.
>Pretty selfish. Your choice of course. But that's the message
>this article has given to me.
Trevor,
Could you elaborate on this statement a little?? It infers that you think all people who choose to be child-free do so because they are selfish.
Gayle
>who choose not to have kids...but here's a question. While I
>am investing alot of my time and money in my children and thus
>helping to raise the future of this country, what are you
>doing? Investing in yourself, and yourself only most likely.
>Pretty selfish. Your choice of course. But that's the message
>this article has given to me.
Trevor,
Could you elaborate on this statement a little?? It infers that you think all people who choose to be child-free do so because they are selfish.
Gayle
>I will say, however, that I find some of the anti-kid
>attitudes in that article a bit disturbing. I think some of
>the people described in there are as bad as those who feel
>they must push parenthood on anyone and everyone...just in the
>opposite view.
Gayle, my thoughts exactly. I never wanted to have kids. When I had a non-viable pregnancy before I had my son, I was very relieved. But I got pregnant again after that even though my husband and I were careful, and to this day I don't understand how I was 7 weeks along when I went to see the ob the first time, when I was sure I had only been pregnant for a month. I am not a religious person and I roll my eyes every time someone tells me that some higher power has some grand plan for me that I have to fulfill through a child. I take this situation logically, rationally: we simply weren't as careful as we believed we were. Birth control failed. As simple as that.
I mourned all the things I had to give up when my son was born. I was severed from something so indefinably essential that I had been carrying my whole life and I resisted turning into, as you say, "somebody else".
I used to ask myself: Why didn't I get an abortion? And the answer was always: Because I had bonded with the child from day one and didn't have the heart to get rid of him just because he wasn't part of "my ideal life". I am pro-choice, by the way, and staunchly so. And at the risk of opening a can of worms here, I believe that choice isn't just the freedom to have an abortion, but encompasses ALL the choices that we women have to make in our lives, big and small. I am one who tells my friends to wait for a long time before having babies, but I don't dump them just because they decided they didn't want to wait.
My husband and I have had a few very tough years with the colic, the reflux, the chronic ear infections, the resistance to potty training... We know we are not going to have any more children after all this. We are into the terrible years and yeah, they are indeed terrible. BUT, we are blooming into different people as we go through this. Our lives, though very taxing, have opened up. We have learned to be better negotiators and this is actually something we bring into the business we are building, believe it or not. Do I pine for the dreams I had to abandon? Of course, every damn day. Do I regret being a mom? No. This is contradictory, I know, but this is how I feel.
I have nothing against those who choose to be childless or those who want to define their lives through their children. These are choices that people have to make for themselves and should be respected. I do avoid those who are anti-kid, and I meet a lot of them at supermarkets and malls. I can tell by the way they look at my son and snicker or snort when he throws a fit or jumps up and down in excitement over some petty thing. Being a mother is tough, thankless work. Not everybody can appreciate that. Not even I, in the beginning. So with everything else in life, I have to be vigilant, make sure that my family and I are surrounded by people and things that nourish us as individuals, and avoid those that promise to be toxic.
Pinky
>attitudes in that article a bit disturbing. I think some of
>the people described in there are as bad as those who feel
>they must push parenthood on anyone and everyone...just in the
>opposite view.
Gayle, my thoughts exactly. I never wanted to have kids. When I had a non-viable pregnancy before I had my son, I was very relieved. But I got pregnant again after that even though my husband and I were careful, and to this day I don't understand how I was 7 weeks along when I went to see the ob the first time, when I was sure I had only been pregnant for a month. I am not a religious person and I roll my eyes every time someone tells me that some higher power has some grand plan for me that I have to fulfill through a child. I take this situation logically, rationally: we simply weren't as careful as we believed we were. Birth control failed. As simple as that.
I mourned all the things I had to give up when my son was born. I was severed from something so indefinably essential that I had been carrying my whole life and I resisted turning into, as you say, "somebody else".
I used to ask myself: Why didn't I get an abortion? And the answer was always: Because I had bonded with the child from day one and didn't have the heart to get rid of him just because he wasn't part of "my ideal life". I am pro-choice, by the way, and staunchly so. And at the risk of opening a can of worms here, I believe that choice isn't just the freedom to have an abortion, but encompasses ALL the choices that we women have to make in our lives, big and small. I am one who tells my friends to wait for a long time before having babies, but I don't dump them just because they decided they didn't want to wait.
My husband and I have had a few very tough years with the colic, the reflux, the chronic ear infections, the resistance to potty training... We know we are not going to have any more children after all this. We are into the terrible years and yeah, they are indeed terrible. BUT, we are blooming into different people as we go through this. Our lives, though very taxing, have opened up. We have learned to be better negotiators and this is actually something we bring into the business we are building, believe it or not. Do I pine for the dreams I had to abandon? Of course, every damn day. Do I regret being a mom? No. This is contradictory, I know, but this is how I feel.
I have nothing against those who choose to be childless or those who want to define their lives through their children. These are choices that people have to make for themselves and should be respected. I do avoid those who are anti-kid, and I meet a lot of them at supermarkets and malls. I can tell by the way they look at my son and snicker or snort when he throws a fit or jumps up and down in excitement over some petty thing. Being a mother is tough, thankless work. Not everybody can appreciate that. Not even I, in the beginning. So with everything else in life, I have to be vigilant, make sure that my family and I are surrounded by people and things that nourish us as individuals, and avoid those that promise to be toxic.
Pinky
Everybody should have the right to choose whichever lifestyle they wish to live as long as it doesnt cross the boundries of safety to others. There are Majorities out there..and they tend to set the standards.. So what...to each their own! I am a single mother...It wasn't planned that way ..Interestingly enough..I engage my kids much more being single than married (obviously not a perfect marriage). Am I finacially perfect..no...do my kids have everything..no...but I don't think that is neccessarily a bad thing..Just because my family isn't the standard ..doesnt mean we are faulty...Just as those that choose different paths than the "norm" are faulty..or wrong..Motherhood has all the same components of a job and a relationship packed into one thing...In a way it is just another way to Love someone...For me...it has expanded my view and my breath-- I am happy!!! I hope everyone finds theirs!!!..
mogambo
Cathlete
Of course Trevor, you and I know how to have a logical disagreement without regarding it as personal, so I don't need to worry, right?
In short, I disagree.
First of all, the "If you have children, I'm sorry to tell you, they are not special." remark was not made by the article's author, but by what he described as the most extreme proponent of kidlessness, as an example of how far it can go.
I do sympathize with many of the concerns of the child-free though. Children, in my opinion, are not a resource that our society is lacking (otherwise I would believe parents should be rewarded). Because I strongly believe that America has too many people, I believe it behooves us as a society to create "disincentives" for breeding. If you have children, you do so by choice and the fact that you can't hang out at the club until 3 am is a consequence of that choice. I do not think parents should get any extra benefits, if they want to have children, let them pay for them. I will not work extra hours or hold to more rigid schedules to accomodate them. My future is not being helped by all these extra people. They degrade the environment, overburden the social support network and increase unemployment even for the most educated and skilled workers. And many children are just plain annoying and out of control, running amok in public places. It would be nice to be allowed a few places where they simply are not allowed, without having to surround myself with pornography or alcoholic beverages.
I most definitely do not agree that child-free equals selfish. Think of how much a person can do for everyone if all the time and money and energy they spend on another newly-manufactured human could be spent on taking care of those who are already here. If someone chose to devote their lives to nonprofit work and decided not to breed so they could not add to the overpopulation, I think that would be extremely selfless of them. I would hope the government would even reward that behavior by, say, not making them pay for property tax which is used to support public schools, just as an example (I'm not sure this would be a good idea, just giving a quick example).
We were all children at one point, and I believe very strongly in caring for children, providing them with quality experiences and strong consistent love and support. In fact, I have one myself. But I think it can be a very enlightened decision to choose not to have them, and people shouldn't be thought of as broken or sick if they don't enjoy children. Some people don't like dogs, cars, computers, horses, why can't we not like to be around kids?
In short, I disagree.
First of all, the "If you have children, I'm sorry to tell you, they are not special." remark was not made by the article's author, but by what he described as the most extreme proponent of kidlessness, as an example of how far it can go.
I do sympathize with many of the concerns of the child-free though. Children, in my opinion, are not a resource that our society is lacking (otherwise I would believe parents should be rewarded). Because I strongly believe that America has too many people, I believe it behooves us as a society to create "disincentives" for breeding. If you have children, you do so by choice and the fact that you can't hang out at the club until 3 am is a consequence of that choice. I do not think parents should get any extra benefits, if they want to have children, let them pay for them. I will not work extra hours or hold to more rigid schedules to accomodate them. My future is not being helped by all these extra people. They degrade the environment, overburden the social support network and increase unemployment even for the most educated and skilled workers. And many children are just plain annoying and out of control, running amok in public places. It would be nice to be allowed a few places where they simply are not allowed, without having to surround myself with pornography or alcoholic beverages.
I most definitely do not agree that child-free equals selfish. Think of how much a person can do for everyone if all the time and money and energy they spend on another newly-manufactured human could be spent on taking care of those who are already here. If someone chose to devote their lives to nonprofit work and decided not to breed so they could not add to the overpopulation, I think that would be extremely selfless of them. I would hope the government would even reward that behavior by, say, not making them pay for property tax which is used to support public schools, just as an example (I'm not sure this would be a good idea, just giving a quick example).
We were all children at one point, and I believe very strongly in caring for children, providing them with quality experiences and strong consistent love and support. In fact, I have one myself. But I think it can be a very enlightened decision to choose not to have them, and people shouldn't be thought of as broken or sick if they don't enjoy children. Some people don't like dogs, cars, computers, horses, why can't we not like to be around kids?
Aquajock
Cathlete
Mogambo, I agree with your last post 150%. I'd like to note as well that the "selfish" label is often placed around the child-free (especially CF by choice) person's neck; one highly placed representative of the national PTA even went so far as to state that child-free people are "getting a free ride" on the backs of the parents of the world. Forgetting about the enormous amount of taxation that goes to supporting child services and parenting services.
It occurs to me that those parents who would point the finger at the child-free, especially those who sincerely prefer to have child-free areas in the public as well as the private domain (read: R-rated movies, maybe?) and call them "selfish" are the most internally ambivalent about their child-driven lifestyles. Children demand enormous sacrifices in terms of material, emotional and time resources, and there are those out there who truly resent it that all others aren't hewing to those same demands. Suffering needs fellowship, as it were.
IMHO as well, disturbingly often the very act of having children that one does not have the resources to raise (and this cuts across all socioeconomic strata; I am NOT just referring to money) is the height of selfishness. Far too often people have children to "fix" their own pasts, to have power over a helpless other, to have a built-in source of love for themselves (forgetting that the responsibilities flow from the parent TO the child), and / or to have someone whom they can mold in their own ideal image. Pretty lame reasons, in my book, but all too frequent; procreation in a choice-driven society is seldom purely pristinely altruistic.
A-Jock
It occurs to me that those parents who would point the finger at the child-free, especially those who sincerely prefer to have child-free areas in the public as well as the private domain (read: R-rated movies, maybe?) and call them "selfish" are the most internally ambivalent about their child-driven lifestyles. Children demand enormous sacrifices in terms of material, emotional and time resources, and there are those out there who truly resent it that all others aren't hewing to those same demands. Suffering needs fellowship, as it were.
IMHO as well, disturbingly often the very act of having children that one does not have the resources to raise (and this cuts across all socioeconomic strata; I am NOT just referring to money) is the height of selfishness. Far too often people have children to "fix" their own pasts, to have power over a helpless other, to have a built-in source of love for themselves (forgetting that the responsibilities flow from the parent TO the child), and / or to have someone whom they can mold in their own ideal image. Pretty lame reasons, in my book, but all too frequent; procreation in a choice-driven society is seldom purely pristinely altruistic.
A-Jock
mogambo
Cathlete
spaceystacy
Active Member
Being a mom is the most important thing I will do in my lifetime. And at the ripe old age of 28, with most of my life still ahead, I can make that statement with 100% confidence. My 7 year old son, Blaine, is the best thing that ever has, or will, happen to me. He is the reason I wake up every morning.
But I constantly get the "when are you going to have another one?" I think some believe it is worse to only have one than to have none. Like he will have the dreaded "only child syndrome" whatever the heck THAT is.
Having kids is not for everyone. Some people just flat out don't want kids and I totally respect that. Not everyone was meant to be a parent. Some people were just meant to be awesome aunts or uncles or friends or neighbors or spouses. Everyone's purpose in the life is different. Not everyone was put on this earth to be a parent. Being child free is a very respectful decision, just as being a parent is a very respectful decision.
But I constantly get the "when are you going to have another one?" I think some believe it is worse to only have one than to have none. Like he will have the dreaded "only child syndrome" whatever the heck THAT is.
Having kids is not for everyone. Some people just flat out don't want kids and I totally respect that. Not everyone was meant to be a parent. Some people were just meant to be awesome aunts or uncles or friends or neighbors or spouses. Everyone's purpose in the life is different. Not everyone was put on this earth to be a parent. Being child free is a very respectful decision, just as being a parent is a very respectful decision.
H
Hotspur
Guest
I agree some people should never be parents. I feel for the kids who have lousy parents. A lot of my friends have very lousy parents. I also think some people are not meant to be have kids either. Yes, kids are very special. They bring a lot of joy in my life. I'm not too crazy about other people's kids but my kids, I love them to death. Also, if people do not want to have kids, why get married? A lot of single moms never marry either. Some of them are terrific mothers. Some are very lousy as well as married moms. I think some people are just smart enough to know not to have kids because they feel they won't make a good parent or they can't provide for the kids. Wish more people were like that but most people never think before getting pregnant. Kids are A LOT of work but very rewarding in it's own way.
About the overpopulation, yes, US is overpopulated. Why? Because there are way too many illegal aliens here. I'm not being a racist or anything but the fact is there are way too many illegals here and most of them have 3 or more kids. I'm not saying American family doesn't have a lot of kids themselves but majority of households have 2.5 kids. What about China? It's very, very overpopulated. Why do you think the government is trying to get the illegals out of here? It's just too crowdy. Also, I'm seeing a lot of beautiful places being destroyed so they can build houses for people.
About the overpopulation, yes, US is overpopulated. Why? Because there are way too many illegal aliens here. I'm not being a racist or anything but the fact is there are way too many illegals here and most of them have 3 or more kids. I'm not saying American family doesn't have a lot of kids themselves but majority of households have 2.5 kids. What about China? It's very, very overpopulated. Why do you think the government is trying to get the illegals out of here? It's just too crowdy. Also, I'm seeing a lot of beautiful places being destroyed so they can build houses for people.
mogambo
Cathlete
Whether the "excess" people come from immigration or birth makes no difference to the planet or the economy. In fact, a poor immigrant from somewhere-else uses a lot less resources than an extra kid in Belair with 3 Humvees.
I agree we need to strongly restrict immigration, especially the illegal immigration, but that is another topic.
I agree we need to strongly restrict immigration, especially the illegal immigration, but that is another topic.
Pinky:
what a fabulously honest and arresting piece you have written here. I love it. You hit the nail on the head with your definintion of "pro choice". Well done. I wish more people thought as you do.
You sum up the ambivalences most adults who become parents feel I think: while we relish the challenges of parenthood, and we thrive on the uncconditional love we both give and receive with our children, there are always days when we wish we could see how different things might have been had we taken another road. Sometimes we make choices in life, sometimes our choices are forced by circumstances, as they were for you and for be by unexpected pregnancy. It will always be so I think.
On the other hand, my children make me a better person and my husband is totally a far nice human being for being a father. He's a far better father than he is husband. That too is one of those things. parenthood is a life experience. It changes you just as any life experience does. And I am not cynical enough to believe that all adults are changed by parenthood for the worse. Annette sees a smaller percentage of humanity as parents, not a majority.
But I agree with Kathryn. Parenthod requires accepting your responsibilities towards the rest of the planet and humanity. None of us has the right to reproduce without restraint. Every additional human being introduced onto the planet consumes, depletes resources and pollutes. To have as many kids as you want simply because it fulfills you as an individual, or simply because as a family, you can afford it, is to me morally reprehensible. With that, I'm with the Chinese. Sorry, but there it is.
Clare
what a fabulously honest and arresting piece you have written here. I love it. You hit the nail on the head with your definintion of "pro choice". Well done. I wish more people thought as you do.
You sum up the ambivalences most adults who become parents feel I think: while we relish the challenges of parenthood, and we thrive on the uncconditional love we both give and receive with our children, there are always days when we wish we could see how different things might have been had we taken another road. Sometimes we make choices in life, sometimes our choices are forced by circumstances, as they were for you and for be by unexpected pregnancy. It will always be so I think.
On the other hand, my children make me a better person and my husband is totally a far nice human being for being a father. He's a far better father than he is husband. That too is one of those things. parenthood is a life experience. It changes you just as any life experience does. And I am not cynical enough to believe that all adults are changed by parenthood for the worse. Annette sees a smaller percentage of humanity as parents, not a majority.
But I agree with Kathryn. Parenthod requires accepting your responsibilities towards the rest of the planet and humanity. None of us has the right to reproduce without restraint. Every additional human being introduced onto the planet consumes, depletes resources and pollutes. To have as many kids as you want simply because it fulfills you as an individual, or simply because as a family, you can afford it, is to me morally reprehensible. With that, I'm with the Chinese. Sorry, but there it is.
Clare
T
trevor
Guest
In the strictest sense of the word, if you choose not to have kids based on the fact that you think they will interfere with your free time or time to do things for yourself, then that is a selfish attitude. I have nothing against the people that make this choice, but it IS a selfish choice. All choices that are made to benefit oneself can be viewed as selfish to any number of degrees. My choice to workout in the afternoon instead of going right home to my kids can be viewed as selfish. The article definitely conveys a selfish attitude based on the comments given in it and perhaps they could have interviewed more mature people who could give have given better arguments for being childless. No harm intended on my part Gayle.
Trevor
Trevor
T
trevor
Guest
You aren't degrading the environment?