WARNING: Long post alert!
I am of two minds on this issue.
On the one hand, in contrast to conventional wisdom these days, I think a little self-critique is healthy. And I don’t think there is necessarily anything wrong with looking at yourself and saying, “I’m not entirely happy with how I look. Is there something I can change?”
I’m going to use myself as an example. I mention my weight loss, not for bragging rights or to declare my current weight as the target everyone should strive to achieve, but simply as an example of my refusing to accept my status quo just because I was in reasonable shape at the time or because I’m supposed to “love my body.”
I’m 5’ 2.5” and have been somewhere in the 130-138 lb range for about 15 years. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I wasn’t completely happy, but I didn’t think I looked overweight. In pictures, however, I looked chunky and stocky. I hated it. At the beginning of 2015, after years of high cholesterol, a brief spell of high blood pressure that required medication, and test results that showed that I was pre-diabetic, I decided to make a change. I was sick of just accepting the way I looked and more importantly, it clearly wasn’t a healthy weight for me, even though technically, at 138, I was only borderline overweight (according to BMI). In fact, if I type in 5’ 3” for my height, at 138, I’m still in normal range (I used to round up my height to convince myself that my weight was perfectly fine).
I took an honest look at my eating habits and workout schedule and realized there was actually huge room for change even though if you had asked me at the time, I had a healthy diet and was fairly fit; I ate fruits and veg, but also too much processed food and sweets. I met with a nutritionist, overhauled my diet, and increased my workout schedule from 4x/week to 6x/week. I increased my strength training to 3x/week and really upped my weights. I dropped from 138lbs to 115lbs, where I am today (well, not today. Not after holiday eating!
). My cholesterol is normal and I am no longer pre-diabetic.
On the other hand, sometimes we can be our worst enemy. Despite my weight loss and clear evidence that I was much healthier and fitter, I still kept looking for flaws, things I wanted to change. I got brought back to reality at work last month. Before one of our group meetings, we were all sitting around the table, talking. We were giving a colleague some light-hearted teasing about the fact that he was going to leave happy hour early to meet with his personal trainer that night. He said, “Well, I have to. I’m trying to get that perfect body like [me, referring to me by name].” That was a reality check for me: Here I am tearing myself down and others can only see the good changes that I’ve made. I don’t care what others think of how I look, but it was a reminder that I was being too hard on myself. I'm at the point now where I really should just be happy with what I've achieved.
As for Kelly Ripa, I have no idea what she eats or how she works out and honestly I don’t care. I have never looked to any celebrity for any guidance on how I should look or what I should eat. Hollywood is so full of fakeness and surgically-achieved beauty (I’m generalizing here). Yes, some of it is genetic, but a lot of it is not. That said, I agree with JeanneMarie. We have a growing obesity problem in this country (with its accompanying health care costs) and yet we (as a country) are awfully quick to label someone “too skinny” almost as a defense mechanism. Skinny doesn’t equal weakness or deprivation, just like overweight doesn’t necessarily equal lack of fitness.
So to lulu68, I take you at your word that you look chunky in pictures and if you want to change that, make a healthy effort to do so. Take a real honest look at what you’re eating AND drinking and see if there is some room for change (I’ll bet you there is!). But please don’t think you have to starve yourself to get a leaner look. That’s a myth that I also think is a defensive mechanism. There are so many healthy and tasty foods that can be a part of your daily diet that are also compatible with leanness (it isn’t all salads and bland veggies). At the same time, there are also some foods that, while tasty, are not compatible with leanness if eaten on a regular basis. That's where the change in mindset about what constitutes a healthy diet has to occur.
If you have to starve yourself, or work out 2 hours a day to maintain a certain look, then you are clearly striving for an unrealistic and unhealthy goal that wouldn’t be sustainable anyway.