I need some dating advice.

[lynnesq2]

great thread

Lauramax,
sorry to hi-jack your thread, but I am sorta in the same boat so I'd like to know how yours comes out!! it looks like a lot of people here are wondering how your situation ended up!! please tell.

I am on the fence about what theory to believe when it comes to guys- that guys are too intimidated/shy or if they're really "just not that into you." how do you know which one it is?

and the ladies who successfully made the first move - good for you! that's awesome. i don't know how you did it.

my guy is not someone at the gym, but a teaching pro at my tennis club. I've been doing clinics and then taking private lessons from him for about 3 yrs, he used to flirt a ton w/me and i wasn't interested at first. then, he totally grew on me, and now that I'm interested, he's not!! also, he wasn't "available" before, and now, he is so if he were interested, this is his chance, right? anyway, i've dropped hints, to no avail. coincidentally, just today i mentioned to him that i had a $100 gift card to a reataurant (true) and said we could go to lunch and he laughed and said raincheck. that's all the rejection i can take


p.s. i think the idea is so cute to have your friend go to him like he did to you 2 yrs ago and say to him, "my friend would go out with you now, if you were to ask her" even tho that particular friend is no longer at your gym, maybe you could have another one do it? it'd be kinda cute.


good luck girlfriend, I'm rooting for ya.

 

[LauraMax]

RE: great thread

Lynne! That's exactly what's happening w/this guy. I've decided he's either no longer interested or is seeing someone. I'd have issued an invite but I just wasn't getting the right signals. I'm reasonably certain it's the "he's just not that into you" thing.

I swear, I cannot figure out men. They want you when they can't have you. When they can have you they don't want you.

So, it's back to square one. First guy I've met in over 2 years I was remotely interested in, & he's not. I'll check back w/you guys in 2010. x(

 

[lynnesq2]

RE: great thread

LauraMax,
I couldn't agree more w/your statement "they want you when they can't have you. when they can have you they don't want you." I have experienced that more than once . . . and men say they can't understand women??!! ughhhhhhhhhh.
another thing in common - this is the 1st guy i've been remotely interested in in over 2 years as well!!! I give up!! back to square 1 for us both

 

[Govtgirl]

RE: great thread

Hi LauraMax, glad to see you back!

Don't get discouraged! Think about it from his perspective too. You wrote "they want you when they can't have you. when they can have you they don't want you." Well.....he could be saying the same thing about you! When he was interested in you a few years ago, you weren't because of a bad breakup, now you are interested, and he apparently, isn't, and has moved on. It's just bad timing, not about men in general.

I know this is a cliche, but you're gong to find the right guy when you least expect it, and he'll probably be right under your nose. Don't discount friends, either. When I met my husband, we were friends. Seven years ago, we realized we were more than that, and we've been goofy, happily married now for 5 years!

Just go on living your life...do things you like to do, have fun, and in the course of that, you'll find a guy with similar interests that's doing the same fun things he likes to do, and then you'll do them together! :7