I need help in understanding..........

M

mari27

Cathlete
Hi Everyone,
It has been a very long time since I have posted so I will try to make my question short.
A little over year ago I lost my 8 year old son to cancer and I guess with all the hurt and pain I let myself go and did not really care about life.
I since have gained 50 pounds and was drinking wine just about every night for the last 6 months.Also my sleeping habits have been slim to none until two weeks ago I now get at least 6 hours in
I have had a glimpse of hope and as of two weeks ago have started on my healthy journey through life.
My question to all of you is how long before my body will respond to the new healthy habits?
Should I detox with a fast like the master cleanse?
and how much damage do you all think I have done?
Please tell me I can reverse this.
Thank you all in advance
God Bless
 
Mari I'm really sorry for your loss.

Its very good that you are doing better and are on your way to better your health. Just to be on the safe side I would advise to go see a doctor and get a regular check up to ease your mind. I don't know if you need to do a cleanse, I would just try eating healthier and exercise. Exercise always makes us feel good.

Kathy

" They say hard work does not hurt anybody, but why take the chance."




 
{{{MARI}}},

I am very sorry for all of your pain.. I don't feel that you have done any damage.. You needed time to heal. I don't have any knowledge about fasts or cleanses, but as for exercise and eating healthy,the old saying "better late than never" applies, IMHO.. As for how long it will take your body to respond, if you are eating clean and you are exercising, hopefully you will lose 1-2 pounds a week. If you don't see any results at first, just don't give up. There will be more knowledgable and wonderful people here that may respond about the cleanses and fasts. I am happy that you are back on the wagon to a more healthy you!!:) . Don't be a stranger, stop by often to tell us how you are doing. I am sure you know that this forum is a group of awesome people that will be here to help and support you with anything..;-) ;-)
 
<<mari>>> to you for your loss.

I'm so happy for you that you have had a glimmer of hope after so much pain. I have never gone through anything even close to what you have but in my own little corner of the world I have found that there is nothing like exercise/health/fitness to help me regain my equilibrium and find my smile once again. I agree with the others who posted upthread. See a doctor first and perhaps, invest in a good personal trainer. I don't believe in the cleansing concept (I believe the body does this on its own!) so I cannot advise you there. Good luck to you, and let us know how you are doing.

Sparrow


My garden is filled with papayas and mangos
My life is a mixture of reggaes and tangos
Taste for the good life, I can live it no other way
- Jimmy Buffett
 
Mari-

I am very sorry for the loss of your Dear Son.

You are on the right track with eating well and exercising. The weight didn't appear overnight and it won't go away overnight.

"Slow and steady is the journey."

I don't think you have done amy damage either; just get into a healthy routine of healthy food in moderate to small portions and regular exercise.

Stop by for encouragement. This is a great place to talk about the healthy journey of lifes choices!


Judy "Likes2bfit"


If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.



http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce27b3127cce94279e1404fa00000016108AatHLZo3buN

http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=9978144&uid=4817615&members=1
 
I just have to say i am sorry. If i had lost a child i would be in a rubber room..Words can not describe what you are going through.

Yes, you can reverse this. One day at a time.
Take it slow and steady...Rome was not built in a day.


I am not a cleanser, but what ever works for you. I could not go for days w/ no food.
We will all be here for you...
Take care of yourself....

Anne
Aka( Storm)

http://www.picturetrail.com/acatalina
 
mari-so sorry for loss, i can't imagine leg alone find words to make it alright.

as for healthy lifestyle, i think slow baby steps are the way, IMO. just start eating healthier, getting more rest, trying new workouts instead of what might give faster results(take a few days to do yoga, pilates, tai chi just try something new thats active for the body). the same with exercise just do what you can and build up from there.

my prayers for you
kassia

http://www.picturetrail.com/ldy_solana

"And do what thee wilt as long as ye harm none"
 
Mari- My heart goes out to you as do my prayers for your continued healing. If it were me, I think I woulde definitly live by the one day at a time. You know better than anyone that today is really all we have.
I think your body goes thru trauma just as your heart & spirt do... Think of your new healthy lifestyle as healing. Take it slow. Make 1 decision at a time. Today I will workout to______. This meal /snack I will chosse to eat healthy, I will choose ______.
My thought on cleansings... I've done them before... I do believe that eating clean wholesome foods is just as good if not better at helping the body heal. If you didnt do them or care for them before I dont see a reason to start now. imo
Again- My thoughts are w/ you. Please post often and let us know how its going One Day At A Time.
 
Thank You I knew you would all help.
I guess the one day at a time rule sounds good right now.
We as humans are some funny people we want everything yesterday(if you know what I mean).
You wake up one day and nothing fits and you think in one week everything should be back to normal.
I guess I'm on my way
Thank you Once again
God Bless
 
I just wanted to tell you I am soooooooooo sorry for what you have been through. I don't have children but I can't even imagine what you've been through. God bless you.

I don't really have any answers for you other than to tell you that I know it is NEVER too late and you absolutely can reverse this. It's only been 6 months. People do damage like this for years and years and then turn it around. I haven't read the other responses but there are so many knowledgeable people here and I know you will get some wonderful answers.

Good luck on your journey. I hope you'll share it with all of us!

Suz

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." - Anatole France

http://www.picturetrail.com/dogs2birds
 
Mari,

I don't think you have done any "damage" at all. I think you did what you needed to do to nurture yourself through a terrible, painful, traumatic ordeal. Please do not beat yourself up for how you grieved, and how you continue to grieve. Honour yourself. If you're starting to feel ready to change your lifestyle, then I suggest you just start one step at a time, and one day at a time. A program like Weight Watchers might be beneficial for you, because of the support network provided by the meetings. And of course, please post here frequently, and let us all know how you're progressing!

I wish you the very best,
Sandra
 
Mari,

I am sorry for the loss of your son. You are clearly a strong woman and I pray each day becomes brighter for you. You have made the biggest step toward better health and fitness...the FIRST step. As everyone said, slow and steady. Be patient with yourself and when the little set backs occur, and they will, remember tomorrow is a new day to begin again.

Take care and keep posting.
 
Mari,

Glad you are back with us. I'm soooo sorry for your lose.

You will notice the difference right away. No need to detox, but do see a doctor for a check up. Your body should bounce back quickly with lots of TLC. That means Cathe workouts.

Congratulations, for making a wonderful choice. Living is truly an experience you don't want to miss.

Janie

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

www.picturetrail.com/janiejoey
 
Of course you can reverse it all. Absolutely.

Please do not take a harsh attitude towards yourself. Drop the criticism immediately. All I see is a human being who has suffered greatly, and for a long while she grieved and did not know how to live other than using self-medicating survival skills (emotional eating, drinking, etc). You cannot expect perfect behaviour from a person awash with grief. What you have done makes you so human, and so normal, please understand this and accept this about yourself.

Now, you are beginning to surface and to see that you cannot live the rest of your life like this, and nor do you want to. You yourself know that it is not healthy. It helped you to cope, for a little while there, but now you are going to be able to move along with your life and look after yourself more.

Any doctor will tell you, as will any psychologist, that it is never too late for anything. All you do is start now, take each day as it comes, move at your own pace, introduce change and healthy habits slowly, but continually, consistently replacing the bad habits with good ones until you feel much stronger.

You have already taken the first step: you now manage to sleep. Without this, we are nothing and can do nothing, so well done. It is an achievement. I have sleep problems, so I know how difficult it can be to make sure you get regular and sufficient sleep. Now, tackle the next step. You gradually cut back on the drinking until it is either drastically reduced to social drinking only, or you stop. When I was 21, I self-medicated with alcohol for an entire year. I was lonely, depresed and suffering a raging eating disorder. I drank a bottle of wine per night. I managed to cut back completely to social drinking only. Now, I never drink at all and don't miss it. I have not damaged my body. You will not have damaged yours. And no, you don't need the severity of cleanses or detoxes. You have realized in time that you could have gone down a bad path. Congratulate yourself for this recognition, and feel wise about it. Then, instead of severe approaches for a fast come-back, learn to be gentle towards yourself, forgiving and adopt new strategies gradually.

Focus next on eating small, regular meals, with protein and fruits/veggies at every meal to satisfy hunger. This may take a while to get under control because it's impossile to achieve all these goals at one time. So, cut yourself some slack. OK?

But, if you then gradually start exercising again, in a gentle way, with movement that brings joy, and subsequently peace, to you, then you will start to find that your appetite begins to control itself. Your emotional cravings will lessen and you will start to fuel your body rather than see it as empty and in need of being stuffed with junk food.

It would help you enormously if you could find yourself a great therapist to help you through this transitional period of your life. You have to still work through some grief, you need to love yourself more and value yourself and understand that you are not doing anyone's memory a disservice by now starting to think about you and your needs to build a healthy, happy future.

Good luck to you and a big hug also. You are on the right road. Have a healthy journey back towards peace and happiness.

Kind regards,

Clare :)
 
Mari:

how are you doing? Did anything of what we said make sense to you? Are you formulating plans, enlisting help from friends and loved ones?

Just wanted to see how you were.

Clare
 
Mari27, I really don't have any advice for you but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. That must of been extremely hard for you and I'm so sorry.

Jennie.
 
Hi,
I am so thankful to all of you I feel encouraged and I am incorporating some of the advice given.
However I guess the holiday season has me a little on the down side.
I am trying to take it one day at a time.
Thank You for caring and I hope you and yours have a blessed holiday season.
I will keep you posted.
 
Mari--(((hugs)))--I cannot imagine anything more difficult than the loss of a child. May the God of all comfort, comfort you.

Yes, you can reverse this. As others have said, one day at a time, eat healthy and exercise and don't be mean to yourself. I had 50 lbs to lose at one time and I eventually got it off (or most of it anyway:)). Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Furman (spelling?) was really helpful, as were my workouts, mostly Cathe.

My only warning would be that in regards to exercise, don't do to much too fast, because you might injure yourself. Modify and slowly work back to what you could do before. The extra weight could be hard on your joints (I learned this the hard way).

Please keep us posted and come here for support. I hope you have support in "real life" as well.

Maggie:)
 
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