jennifermaria
Cathlete
... I can't help it, that number on the scale just really gets to me sometimes 
.
I truly do believe that my weight is just a number and it's more important to be healthy and track how I feel, how my clothes fit, etc. but all that said, when the number on that *&^%ing scale keeps creeping up and I feel as though my infinitesimal margin of error is getting smaller by the day, well... let's just say it gets a bit frustrating.
Please allow me to explain a little (and warning: this may be long):
In 2005, I lost 30 pounds from doing Weight Watchers and training for my first half-marathon Team In Training. I maintained that weight loss--for the most part (+/- 2-3 pounds at most)--for 3 years, until I trained for my first marathon in the summer of 2008 and I ended up gaining 5 pounds. Not a big deal, I thought. 5 pounds was nothing! Surely I could lose that in no time once I stopped training so intensely and could eat at "normal" levels again and do more HIIT and weight work, right?
Um... not right.
Since then, that weight has slowly but surely crept up, no matter what I have tried. I'm now 9 pounds heavier--my highest weight since I lost all that weight 5 years ago. Now granted, I look different at 137 pounds today than I did at 137 pounds when I was first losing the weight (mainly because when I was with Weight Watchers, I was eating largely processed and artificial stuff all in the name of keeping my points low and doing more cardio than weights to earn more activity points), but still, I can't just chalk it up to having more muscle (I have increased my strength training to 3 days/week, vs. 2 days/week), because I still see a layer of fat over my muscles. Worse, that layer of fat is in the worst places possible: my face (which is the first thing people see, and therefore the most obvious signal of my weight gain) and my waist (which, as we all know well, is high risk city for heart disease, etc.). I'm also seeing my measurements creep up ever so slightly week after week, especially in the (you guessed it) belly area.
So I know the weight gain IS a legitimate weight gain--perhaps not all of it (I'm pretty sure I'm retaining water, too), but definitely some or most of it. Thing is, I'm not sure what else I can do other than to keep eating as clean as I can (without driving myself insane by restricting EVERYTHING--for my own mental health, I have to have *some* room for relaxing of the rules) and keep up my strength training and cardio work. I know at some point, my body will get a clue and maybe react to the good things I'm doing and if it doesn't, at least I'm doing things that will keep it healthy, even if that isn't ever reflected in my appearance.
Anyway... thank you for letting me get that off my chest. I've still got my eyes on the ultimate prize: health. But it would be nice if I could also have some visual reinforcement of all my hard work and see my layer of fat start to thin out (and go away!!) or the weight on the scale go back to my fighting weight of 128 (at 5'5", that's a reasonable weight, IMHO). I feel as though I'm doing more healthy things now than I ever did when I was on WW, and yet my weight was never at its lowest than when I was on WW. Would I go back to eating processed junk again and doing mostly cardio in favor of strength? No, but I do wish my current lifestyle could be rewarded somewhat .
.I truly do believe that my weight is just a number and it's more important to be healthy and track how I feel, how my clothes fit, etc. but all that said, when the number on that *&^%ing scale keeps creeping up and I feel as though my infinitesimal margin of error is getting smaller by the day, well... let's just say it gets a bit frustrating.
Please allow me to explain a little (and warning: this may be long):
In 2005, I lost 30 pounds from doing Weight Watchers and training for my first half-marathon Team In Training. I maintained that weight loss--for the most part (+/- 2-3 pounds at most)--for 3 years, until I trained for my first marathon in the summer of 2008 and I ended up gaining 5 pounds. Not a big deal, I thought. 5 pounds was nothing! Surely I could lose that in no time once I stopped training so intensely and could eat at "normal" levels again and do more HIIT and weight work, right?
Um... not right.
Since then, that weight has slowly but surely crept up, no matter what I have tried. I'm now 9 pounds heavier--my highest weight since I lost all that weight 5 years ago. Now granted, I look different at 137 pounds today than I did at 137 pounds when I was first losing the weight (mainly because when I was with Weight Watchers, I was eating largely processed and artificial stuff all in the name of keeping my points low and doing more cardio than weights to earn more activity points), but still, I can't just chalk it up to having more muscle (I have increased my strength training to 3 days/week, vs. 2 days/week), because I still see a layer of fat over my muscles. Worse, that layer of fat is in the worst places possible: my face (which is the first thing people see, and therefore the most obvious signal of my weight gain) and my waist (which, as we all know well, is high risk city for heart disease, etc.). I'm also seeing my measurements creep up ever so slightly week after week, especially in the (you guessed it) belly area.
So I know the weight gain IS a legitimate weight gain--perhaps not all of it (I'm pretty sure I'm retaining water, too), but definitely some or most of it. Thing is, I'm not sure what else I can do other than to keep eating as clean as I can (without driving myself insane by restricting EVERYTHING--for my own mental health, I have to have *some* room for relaxing of the rules) and keep up my strength training and cardio work. I know at some point, my body will get a clue and maybe react to the good things I'm doing and if it doesn't, at least I'm doing things that will keep it healthy, even if that isn't ever reflected in my appearance.
Anyway... thank you for letting me get that off my chest
. I've still got my eyes on the ultimate prize: health. But it would be nice if I could also have some visual reinforcement of all my hard work and see my layer of fat start to thin out (and go away!!) or the weight on the scale go back to my fighting weight of 128 (at 5'5", that's a reasonable weight, IMHO). I feel as though I'm doing more healthy things now than I ever did when I was on WW, and yet my weight was never at its lowest than when I was on WW. Would I go back to eating processed junk again and doing mostly cardio in favor of strength? No, but I do wish my current lifestyle could be rewarded somewhat .
