I just want to curl up and cry :(

S

sblordita

Cathlete
About 7 months ago, I had to put my 17-year-old kitty to sleep after a short battle with kidney failure. It hit me really hard. I'd had my guy since I was 9 years old and he was simply a part of me. All this time later, I don't feel even close to being over it all. But day before yesterday, I had to make the decision to put his life-long 16-year-old companion down as well. She was perpetually kitten-like, like she never wanted to grow up, mentally or physically. She had always been 100% healthy - she looked it and acted it until the very end. In all these years she'd never even had to have her teeth cleaned! Then suddenly she lost her voice and stopped eating. We found out that she had tumors throughout her entire digestive tract. It was so painful to watch her waste away, but she never lost her spirit or her desire to live, which made the decision to put her down so much more difficult. I'm just not dealing with it all very well. I can't cry anymore, but I'm a big bundle of nerves. I'm upset that nothing could be done and feel so sad that they're both gone. The one thing I'm so grateful for is that they didn't suffer long. They both had such healthy lives for being so old, until the end.

To top this all off, yesterday, just as I was starting to calm down a little, I was subpoenaed for my ex's stalking/harassment trial. I filed for a restraining order nearly a year ago, and now I've been sucked into an endless battle that I want no part of. I'm such a nervous wreck of emotions and anxiety that I don't even know what to do with myself. I have no interest in "teaching him a lesson" and charging him with anything. I only wanted the right to have my life back. As far as I'm concerned, people like that don't learn by being "punished", and the only thing that will happen is that he'll become more angry that I've done yet something else to him.

Thanks for listening. I'm just so upset I needed to get it all out.

Sara
 
I'm sorry for all that you are going through and I hope you have friends and family to lean on.
 
Sara what a hard time your having. I feel so bad that you had to put your kitty down. Just know it was her time. I know it doesn't make it any easier to us that are left behind without her but she knows you loved her. I'm sure of that.

As for the ex just try and handle it the best you can. It is your life and you deserve a great one.
karen

www.picturetrail.com/karenvictoria
 
Sara,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your cats. I understand what your going through-I lost my baby (a lovebird) on april 11, 2006 and it was to traumatic for me and I still have not got over it. I wish I knew what to say to make it better for you as I know your pain all too well.

As for the ex I dont know what to say except what Karen said-its your live and you deserve a great one.

Please take care,

Sincerely,

Lisa
 
Wow, you must be so overwhelmed;I'm sorry. I can relate to both of your predicaments to some degree. From the way you talk about your beloved kitties it sounds like not only did they have long, healthy lives, but they were well cared for, loved, and happy!!! I had 2 cats as well; one lived to be 18; my other until 16. They have been gone for a while now, and I still miss them. I'll never forget them, but it does get better... As for the other situation, it just sucks. I don't really know what to say; except I know what you mean about when you "punish" someone in that mind frame. But you can't live in fear of someone; you have to take action, which is what you've done. If things get really ugly I suggest you try and find a support group for women;there are alot out there. In the meantime, take care of yourself,reach out to friends, and keep posting....Nancy J.~~~
 
I just wanted to say that I will send you some prayers that your situation works out quickly. Sometimes we just go through difficult times but all will work out for you and you will be fine. ((((Hugs))))
 
Sara - I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Dealing with the death of a pet is enough for one person to go through without the business with your ex on top of it. I hope things get better for you soon.

Sue
 
{{{{{{Sara}}}}}}
So sorry for the loss of your cats.

Sounds like you're having a tough few days. Sometimes it seems like when the $*!@#* hits the fan, it really hits it hard.

Hope you get some comfort from sharing this with us.
 
Losing loved pets is soooo very hard. I can't imagine what the stress the other situation is causing you. We all have times where we just feel like curling up into a ball, as you put it so well. I'm sorry you feel like this right now. Hope the situation with the ex manages to resolve itself.
 
Sara...so sorry for the loss of your cats....I know the feeling...sending {{{{HUGS}}}}.

Very sorry about the ex situation rearing it's ugly head now...you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Hi Sara,

I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am to hear about the loss of your dear pets. It sounds like you gave them a truly wonderful life & I know you will miss them always. But I also wish that all of your wonderful memories will bring you much peace & happiness in time too. I'm also very sorry for everything else you're going through during such a difficult time. Sending (((HUGS))) your way & hoping you feel better soon. Please take care of yourself.

Kel
 
So so sorry for you Sara.
I know how hard it is to lose a pet, especially one that's like a member of the family.
I hope you start feeling better soon.
 
I'm so sorry you're going through a hard time right now. Our bulldog, well, we had to put her down over a year ago, and it took me a long, long time to get over that. I used to have these recurring dreams that we put her down, came back from the vet's office, and she was still here. Very weird. The dreams finally stopped, but I still think about her alot. We have two other dogs now, and I love them (even the difficult little Pom!), but they'll never replace the feelings I had for our bulldog. Take care.
 
sara,

you sound like a wonderful person. i know the loss of your babies is hard. i had to put my norton down a few years ago at 15 1/2. i did get felix the monday after i put norton to sleep. he is sweet. i still have alice, and she is 19. i dread the day..i dont even want to go there.

allow yourself to grieve. personally, i dont think you ever get over it. they were a big part of your life. i know mine were there when i was going through my divorce with a coke addict moron. when i felt like giving up, i had two loving children greeting me at the door every day. they were there 24/7, just like i know yours were. thank God you had them! i know they are all looking down on us. i fell that they want us to continue our love, and help another cat or two have a home. when you are ready, think about it.

as for the ex, just try and get through it as best as you can. as the others said, lean on your friends. that is what they are there for, just like we are all here for you on the site.

suri (aka my real name of sara)
 
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