well i binged again. i posted about a month ago on the same topic. for some reason i can't get out of this black or white thinking. i am so afraid to trust myself with intuitive eating. i have read the book and it just scares me. i feel like i will just blow up b/c i love junk food that much. i'm trying to think of what made me binge. my fiance' has been working a lot so i'm lonely. i added an extra day of cardio in as well which usually triggers a binge. my binge wasn't as bad as the last one though so thats good. i wanted to know if anyone has any tricks with the intuitive eating thing? i'm getting really annoyed with 6 meals a day but when i do 3 i don't feel well. i'm tired of counting calories and having to bring food with me everywhere i go. i'm tired of going to restaurants and not getting what i really want off the menu. i do love the way i look by eating the way i do but sometimes i wonder if 6 pack abs and size 2 jeans is worth the aggrevation. there was a time when i was normal and just ate and worked out. i don't know when all of that changed for me and i became so regimented. i just want to cry right now. i feel really lonely and defeated. i hate how much control food has on my life. its all i think about. i watch others who forget to eat or just order whatever they want without a care in the world. i'm honestly jealous. i have seen a therapist. i need to reread intuitive eating again. i hate the way i'm going to feel tomorrow: swollen, tired, bloated, fat. i even thought about this before eating this crap i ate. i know lots of people have cheat meals and this is basically what this was. it was about 1500cals extra for the day. i know its not the end of the world but i want to be normal and be able to eat a couple cookies and be content and not have to eat them all. or be able to have a slice of pizza and not five. i'm tired of measuring food, i'm tired of looking at how many grams of protein, carbs, and fat i'm eating. i'm just tired of it. sometimes i just don't want to care anymore. it is so exhausting and i know i could use the energy on other things. i'm constantly talking about food and exercise and judging others based on this. HELP ME. i can dish out the advice but there are times when i can't take my own.
i hate this
- Thread starter kariev
- Start date
Personally, I don't think everyone can or should do "intuitive eating." Don't feel bad if it doesn't work for you. Everyone has to find the method that works for them. I can't have the "trigger" foods around and think I can "intuitively" eat "just a little." If junk food is to you like booze is to an alcoholic, it's better not to even try it. I gotta go the count calories route, but I'll just keep doing it because it works. Yup, it gets tiring, but it's better than gaining weight and getting depressed about popping out of too tight clothes.
I allow myself a small cheat on a regular basis because I love some junk food, too. Chocolate and ice cream are my big weaknesses. It used to be soda pop and potato chips, but I just stopped buying those things and now I just don't want them, anymore. If the junk isn't around, you can't eat it.
I don't count calories and I don't count fat, carbs, and protein. I keep it as basic as I can because I just don't have the time or the discipline to keep track of all that crap. The only thing I even remotely count is how many teaspoons of sugar I'm eating (4 grams of sugar equals 1 teaspoon) and try to limit my sugar intake to less than 12 teaspoons per day. That seems to work for me. When I make a meal, I try to get a portion of protein, and lots of veggies, but I don't calculate how much of everything I'm eating.
Food should be ENJOYABLE! It shouldn't be a chore! Right now, it sounds like food is a chore for you, and to be honest with you, I think you are going to have to do some VERY SERIOUS work on reprogramming your mind about food and body image - and you will need professional help to do that, from the way it sounds. You are miserable! You are beating yourself up over something that, in the grand scheme of things, just isn't that important.
I would venture to guess that you are restricting your calories way too much and that you are not allowing yourself even the tiniest of indulgences, which is why you are obsessed with food and have these binge attacks. Seek out the help of a GOOD nutritionist and a specialized counselor (someone who specializes in treating eating disorders might be a great place to start).
Good luck and stop beating yourself up. This may sound corny, but read "The Secret" several times. This book offers some excellent techniques to reprogram your thinking, and it just might be what you need to get the ball rolling in the right direction.
I don't count calories and I don't count fat, carbs, and protein. I keep it as basic as I can because I just don't have the time or the discipline to keep track of all that crap. The only thing I even remotely count is how many teaspoons of sugar I'm eating (4 grams of sugar equals 1 teaspoon) and try to limit my sugar intake to less than 12 teaspoons per day. That seems to work for me. When I make a meal, I try to get a portion of protein, and lots of veggies, but I don't calculate how much of everything I'm eating.
Food should be ENJOYABLE! It shouldn't be a chore! Right now, it sounds like food is a chore for you, and to be honest with you, I think you are going to have to do some VERY SERIOUS work on reprogramming your mind about food and body image - and you will need professional help to do that, from the way it sounds. You are miserable! You are beating yourself up over something that, in the grand scheme of things, just isn't that important.
I would venture to guess that you are restricting your calories way too much and that you are not allowing yourself even the tiniest of indulgences, which is why you are obsessed with food and have these binge attacks. Seek out the help of a GOOD nutritionist and a specialized counselor (someone who specializes in treating eating disorders might be a great place to start).
Good luck and stop beating yourself up. This may sound corny, but read "The Secret" several times. This book offers some excellent techniques to reprogram your thinking, and it just might be what you need to get the ball rolling in the right direction.
swayzepetsitting
Cathlete
I don't count calories very much, either. That's because most of what I eat is whole food and I can eat as much as I want. As for the other stuff, I just have a little bit, everyday, and I savor it. The longer I stay with this diet, the easier it gets.
When I started, the junk food I allowed myself was really unhealthy. Right now, I really like Kashi's blueberry and oat flakes cereal and I eat one serving of that with some Rice Dream. This is actually pretty healhy. The point is, it satisfies me and gets my mind off of food.
I used to have a problem with eating to just eat. I would walk into the kitchen without even thinking about it, even when I was not hungry. I have learned that if I leave the kitchen for just 5 minutes and busy myself, I forget about the urge to eat.
Don't get me wrong, I still have slip ups. My mom and I both have about 2-3 days a month where we just want crap food all day. I have learned to not even fight it on these days. So I just eat whatever I want and get back to my regular diet once the urge is gone. It works out because I usually feel so cruddy the next day that all I want to eat is unprocessed foods.
It has taken me a long time to become comfortable with my diet and to not constantly think about it. Good luck!
When I started, the junk food I allowed myself was really unhealthy. Right now, I really like Kashi's blueberry and oat flakes cereal and I eat one serving of that with some Rice Dream. This is actually pretty healhy. The point is, it satisfies me and gets my mind off of food.
I used to have a problem with eating to just eat. I would walk into the kitchen without even thinking about it, even when I was not hungry. I have learned that if I leave the kitchen for just 5 minutes and busy myself, I forget about the urge to eat.
Don't get me wrong, I still have slip ups. My mom and I both have about 2-3 days a month where we just want crap food all day. I have learned to not even fight it on these days. So I just eat whatever I want and get back to my regular diet once the urge is gone. It works out because I usually feel so cruddy the next day that all I want to eat is unprocessed foods.
It has taken me a long time to become comfortable with my diet and to not constantly think about it. Good luck!
taekwondomeow
Member
Hi there kariev,
Reading your post was like reading my own mind! I feel exactly the same as you do sometimes! I've been 'dieting' and working out for years and until very recently I always thought that restricting calories was the only way to lose weight. Since reading BFFM I understand the importance of regular CLEAN meals and my diet has improved dramatically. The thing is, I haven;t actually lost any weight because I have 2-4days a week when I just can't keep my calories below 1800 - on those days I eat a meal(usually meal 5 but sometimes 3 or 4) and then just carry on eating another 500-1000kcal or so! Sometimes what I eat is clean, sometimes it isn't but either way I'm on a food binge and I can't stop putting food in my mouth. Like you I spend a good percentage of my time thinking about kcal and when I need to eat my next meal and what kind of protein I should have and whether or not I should have starchy carbs etc etc etc. I also seem to spend a great deal of time each day talking myself out of wanting sugary foods - sometimes I'm successful, sometimes I'm not. Not only do I spend most of my day thinking about (or eating) food, but I also workout for 2hrs 6- days a week (1hr or so in the morning and one in the evening) - sometimes I feel like my whole life revolves around trying to beat the extra 10lbs from my 122lb body and I often wonder if all the effort is worth it...especially when the scales haven't budged in about a year.
I guess I'm not really in the position to give advice on this because I'm having the same difficulties as you and I haven't been able to control my binge eating either - YET! I also go through phases when I feel very despairing (it sounds like you're in one of those phases now) but at the moment I'm feeling positive and optimistic so I thought I'd share my thoughts with you now in the hope that they might help lift your spirits slightly....
the thing is, if you want 6 pack abs and a size 2 ass then that's what you want and there's nothing wrong with pursuing that wholeheartedly! Perhaps others might say there are more important things in life to worry about, and maybe they're right, but if being fit and thin is what is important to you at this time then that's fine! Personally I think that working hard for a fit, healthy body is a much more worthwhile pursuit than working hard for a high salary or a flash car! Secondly, it's important that you always remember that life is a journey to be enjoyed - when you binge try not to berate yourself for not being perfect, just try to laugh at yourself instead (most of what we do in life is highly amusing and when you see the funny side you stop taking thigs so seriously) and set yourself the challenge of doing better next time. Like Tom Venuito says in BFFM - ther's no such thing as failure, only feedback! If you failed to control a binge try a different strategy next time - if you keep trying, one day you wil reach your goal...maybe you won't reach it tomorrow or even in a year but you WILL reach it! In fact, the only way you won't reach your goal is if you give up or if you keep doing the same thing! Finally, you said you've seen a counsellor about your bingeing but it didn't help? Well, maybe keep going - counsellors aren't psychics and it may take a while to really get to the heart of your reasons for bingeing. Plus, if you keep seeing a counsellor then they can suggest lots of different strategies for you to try out to help you control your eating and maybe one of them will be the one that will help you! Personally, I have found buddhist meditation to be very helpful - it helps you focus on your body and your thoughts and sometimes it can bring a great deal of insight into why you feel or do certain things...it also helps you to ask questions like "do i need this?" and "if i do this will it make me happy?". Somtimes just asking these questions is enough to stop me eating bad food or eating too much.
Gosh I've really rambled on a lot there - I really hope I haven't bored you too much! I think I partly needed to write some of that down for myself!
Wishing you all the best kariev - hang in there and stick with the healthy eating but try not to be so hard on yourself when you're not perfect!
Sally
Reading your post was like reading my own mind! I feel exactly the same as you do sometimes! I've been 'dieting' and working out for years and until very recently I always thought that restricting calories was the only way to lose weight. Since reading BFFM I understand the importance of regular CLEAN meals and my diet has improved dramatically. The thing is, I haven;t actually lost any weight because I have 2-4days a week when I just can't keep my calories below 1800 - on those days I eat a meal(usually meal 5 but sometimes 3 or 4) and then just carry on eating another 500-1000kcal or so! Sometimes what I eat is clean, sometimes it isn't but either way I'm on a food binge and I can't stop putting food in my mouth. Like you I spend a good percentage of my time thinking about kcal and when I need to eat my next meal and what kind of protein I should have and whether or not I should have starchy carbs etc etc etc. I also seem to spend a great deal of time each day talking myself out of wanting sugary foods - sometimes I'm successful, sometimes I'm not. Not only do I spend most of my day thinking about (or eating) food, but I also workout for 2hrs 6- days a week (1hr or so in the morning and one in the evening) - sometimes I feel like my whole life revolves around trying to beat the extra 10lbs from my 122lb body and I often wonder if all the effort is worth it...especially when the scales haven't budged in about a year.
I guess I'm not really in the position to give advice on this because I'm having the same difficulties as you and I haven't been able to control my binge eating either - YET! I also go through phases when I feel very despairing (it sounds like you're in one of those phases now) but at the moment I'm feeling positive and optimistic so I thought I'd share my thoughts with you now in the hope that they might help lift your spirits slightly....
the thing is, if you want 6 pack abs and a size 2 ass then that's what you want and there's nothing wrong with pursuing that wholeheartedly! Perhaps others might say there are more important things in life to worry about, and maybe they're right, but if being fit and thin is what is important to you at this time then that's fine! Personally I think that working hard for a fit, healthy body is a much more worthwhile pursuit than working hard for a high salary or a flash car! Secondly, it's important that you always remember that life is a journey to be enjoyed - when you binge try not to berate yourself for not being perfect, just try to laugh at yourself instead (most of what we do in life is highly amusing and when you see the funny side you stop taking thigs so seriously) and set yourself the challenge of doing better next time. Like Tom Venuito says in BFFM - ther's no such thing as failure, only feedback! If you failed to control a binge try a different strategy next time - if you keep trying, one day you wil reach your goal...maybe you won't reach it tomorrow or even in a year but you WILL reach it! In fact, the only way you won't reach your goal is if you give up or if you keep doing the same thing! Finally, you said you've seen a counsellor about your bingeing but it didn't help? Well, maybe keep going - counsellors aren't psychics and it may take a while to really get to the heart of your reasons for bingeing. Plus, if you keep seeing a counsellor then they can suggest lots of different strategies for you to try out to help you control your eating and maybe one of them will be the one that will help you! Personally, I have found buddhist meditation to be very helpful - it helps you focus on your body and your thoughts and sometimes it can bring a great deal of insight into why you feel or do certain things...it also helps you to ask questions like "do i need this?" and "if i do this will it make me happy?". Somtimes just asking these questions is enough to stop me eating bad food or eating too much.
Gosh I've really rambled on a lot there - I really hope I haven't bored you too much! I think I partly needed to write some of that down for myself!
Wishing you all the best kariev - hang in there and stick with the healthy eating but try not to be so hard on yourself when you're not perfect!
Sally
thank you for the wonderful post! its good to know i'm not alone. i feel better today. last night i decided to not beat myself up over it. it really wasn't a binge binge, it was overeating so i would classify it as my cheat meal. i slept good last night, did power hour this morning, and i feel pretty good. i have some water retention but not a ton. i have seen a counselor in the past but i didn't like her. mabe i will search out another one. i'm beginning to think that 6 meals a day is contributing to my binges. i just never feel satisfied. i really need to get back to listening to my body. right now i am already in a size 2 and have the 6 pack and i'm finding it much harder to stay here then it was to get here. mantainance is a bi***. i seem to go through cycles of this. but it seems that once i do 6 meals a day and get stricter with my diet the cycle repeats itself. noticing this i need to readjust the way i eat. anyways, thanks for your supportive words. i don't know what i would do if i couldn't vent on this forum.