I had the saddest conversation at the gym on Sunday

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
with this woman who is unbelievably skinny. Yes, that's right, I said skinny. :eek:

She's the same height as I am, about the same age, & she weighs 101 to my 110. We both lost a similar amount of weight a few years ago. But I couldn't believe the difference--you can see every single vein & muscle striation on her body--I know I look muscular & I have a few veins popping, but I think (or hope!) I've still managed to keep some curves. One of the things that surprised me is what an enormous difference that 10 lbs can make.

So we started to talk about dieting & such, & I'm pretty sure she's an anorexic. I was telling her that I pretty much stick to my diet during the week but eat what I want on the weekends, & that I don't really sweat it if I gain 5 lbs or so b/c I know I can lose it fairly easily. This poor woman said she's afraid to even eat one cookie, b/c she thinks it'll lead to another, & then another, & that she'll completely lose control of herself. And when she said she was afraid, she meant REALLY AFRAID, you could see the tension on her face when she was just talking about it.

Is this what anorexia is like? I can't even imagine it. I mean, I really enjoy working out, & of course I want to look good, but I also love food & just cannot deprive myself of it 24/7. I consider myself type A but I do not consider myself obsessive.

Also what surprised me was her age--for some reason I thought anorexia mostly effected women in their teens & 20s--this woman was abou 40. I guess it's more common in older women than I thought?

Anyway, I really felt for her. I wanted to tell her she needed to get some help before she makes herself sick, but how do you say that to someone you hardly know? Poor thing. Missing out on all those holiday goodies. :-(
 
laura,

nope they are finding more middle age woman are anorexic or suffer from similar eating disorders. obviously there is some sort of an issue there if she is almost deathly afraid to have ONE cookie for fear she will not be able to control herself. that is a key word,CONTROL. sometimes they feel their weight and what they eat are the only thing they can control in their life. they feel better about themselves as a person if they can control one aspect of their life. if they lose that control they question themself as a person.

i really can't offer advice b/c i never had to deal with a stranger that i though had this problem. i know i confront my sister on it often when i think she is relapsing.not confront in a mean way but confront b/c i know what she is up too and i want her to talk to me about it. hopefully somebody can bring up the subject gentley as to not scare or offend her.


kassia



When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it -- Bernard Bailey
 
I really feel for this woman. :(

As Kassia says, eating disorders and older women is becoming a more relevant and studied topic, so I guess that's good, maybe there will be more resources.

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
My mother started at it around 40 and at 70+ she is still a full blown anorexic. She got cancer a few years ago and told me that it was "the best diet ever". She is 5'7" and is at under 100lbs due to her chemo and eating disorder. Still drinks Diet Coke and when the docs try to get her to drink Ensure to try to get healthier, she throws it out.

It is sad in teenagers, it is heartbreaking for older women.
Melissa

Keep your head in line. Your butt will follow.

http://www.picturetrail.com/pellmel
 
Yes, that's what anorexia was like for me. I lived in constant fear of gaining weight and losing control. I've had several bouts of anorexia - my last one started when I was 31 years old. I remember telling people how afraid I was of gaining weight and they would look at me like I was crazy because I was so tiny. My oldest son was 7 years old and I couldn't tell his clothes apart from mine sometimes when I was putting laundry away. And, yes I was REALLY AFRAID - I would have to keep from crying when I would talk about it because that fear was my entire life. My whole reason for living became to keep from gaining weight.

I finally did lose control. I did what your friend feared - I allowed myself to have a taste of something and that led to another and another and I ended up on a vicious cycle of binging and restricting for years.

Eating disorders are very puzzling and very stubborn.

Erica
 
It is sad. I don't know the stats on it anymore. I worked psychiatry as a young nurse just out of school 25 years ago and saw a lot of it then! Most of the girls I saw were in their early teens. Also, my brother's first wife was anorexic and died at the ripe old age of 27, leaving behind my brother and her 2 year old son.

I think somthing that is just as bad as anorexia is a condition called orthorexia. I think this is gaining in prevalence.
ETA I think my best friend may have this! She is so uptight about what she eats that she's a drag to go out with anymore. Her DH is the same way, as well as her oldest daughter. Her younger daughter seems normal to me though.

Michele
 
Oh yeah, & have you guys heard of exercise bulimia? It's where you do enough cardio to burn the exact amount of calories you take in during that day. I saw an interview on CNN with that girl from the Sopranos, apparently she had it, & she was getting up at 3 am every morning to burn off the calories she'd eaten the day before.
 
oh yeah i have heard many of gossip shows accuse celebs of this exercise bulimia. they were do cardio for HOURS just to stay as thin as possible. sometimes i fall into that trap that i have to do cardio for so long everyday but i snap myself right out of it when i look over my workout logs.i wouldn't do cardio for more then 70 mins. tops, but these gals are going for 3 or more hours a day. can you imagine????i would think the rest of the day somebody would have to wheel you around.


kassia



When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it -- Bernard Bailey
 
I've lived most of this. It's depressing and all-consuming to be ruled by food and exercise. Happily I have been in a good phase for about five years. Still, it's a day to day battle.

Michele, how sad to watch someone you know destroy herself and not be able to help. :(

Sparrow


Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
I think it's interesting that you feel sorry for this thin woman who has an eating disorder, but you feel like a fitness snob around overweight people when they may have an eating disorder as well.

It's very possible that these people are dealing with difficult issues in different ways - one is starving herself and obsessing about food to distract herself from her true issues, while the others are using food to stuff those feelings down.

The difference in how you feel about the thin woman vs. overweight people really struck me since they all may be dealing with disordered eating.


Erica
 
I know a few people who have this problem.There is a girl that works here and she is so small but she is short to.She claims that she weighs 110 but I don't beleive it.She is about 5'1" and I think she weighs less then 100.She is about the size of my daughter, her legs are like a childs legs.Then she said something to me that struck me weird one day.She said that she has to watch what she eats b/c she gains weight really easy.So that told me right then and there that she as to work to maintain this low weight she is at.When she would get really hungry, she would sit on the floor,curl up into a ball and complain that she was starving! And she couldn't wait for lunch.I said...why don't you have a cookie or something? Nope,she wouldn't dare.
She also admitted to me one time that alot of the women in her family suffer from eating disorders.I think she may be one of them.
Lori:)
 
lori her name wouldn't happen to be kelley parsley LOL b/c that IS my sister. short very small(size 00 or little boys 13). apparently she has gotten better and is eating 3 square meals a day


kassia



When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it -- Bernard Bailey
 
LOL! No, I don't think its your sister! hahaha .She already as two kids and is on her thrid.
I just think something is not quit normal b/c ususally when people are her size, they say that they have been this size forever and it effortless.I know a few like that.That I think could gain a bit of weight but they eat what they want.While,the girl I work with as gotten smaller (if thats possible) and says she can't eat much or she will gain weight.Also one of my co-workers said that she always goes to the bathroom after she eats.
She is gaining weight now though b/c she is pregnate.But she isn't enjoying it!
Lori:)
 
i can honestly say i did't mind getting fat when i was pregnant its just what i was left with that annoyed me LOL

i really hope she sees past these food issues and her weight. if not for herself but for the sake that those kids need a good role model.

kassia



When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it -- Bernard Bailey
 
yeah, its about alot more when you have little ones watching you.And if she noticed her family was like it, then chances are so will her kids.She is a bit off anyway...i wouldn't be able to spend much time with her.Shes always sick..blah,blah,blah!
Lori:)
 
You are very lucky if you can eat what you want on weekends. But you have to understand that many of us HAVE TO follow a very strict diet 24/7 otherwise we will gain and if you're 5'2 like me, it will show very quickly. Many of us CAN'T indulge even during the holidays.

Maybe there is something wrong with me too but this lady sounds like she is simply disciplined to me. Good for her.
Lisa
 
>I think it's interesting that you feel sorry for this thin
>woman who has an eating disorder, but you feel like a fitness
>snob around overweight people when they may have an eating
>disorder as well.
>
>It's very possible that these people are dealing with
>difficult issues in different ways - one is starving herself
>and obsessing about food to distract herself from her true
>issues, while the others are using food to stuff those
>feelings down.
>
>The difference in how you feel about the thin woman vs.
>overweight people really struck me since they all may be
>dealing with disordered eating.
>
>
>Erica
>
>
I TOTALLY agree Erica. Thanks for putting this in. I tried to make that very point on the other thread.



"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"


Debbie
 
Agree Erica...

Lisa.. I'm 5 2 and definetly allow myself to eat treats. Like Nancy's thread last week, life is too short to have keeping thin be the be all and end all. It's sad you see this as a positive.

Being healthy yes that is key.
 
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