I felt ugly and invisible

nsaeolian

nsaeolian

Cathlete
Nancy S.
I had the worst day shopping Saturday. I know, I am 45 and not retailers' target market anymore, but I went into about 10 clothing stores and only ONE store had someone greet me as I came in or ask if I needed anything. Half the time, nobody even looked as I came in the door. When I was in retail, you were told to greet EVERYONE and to not make assumptions on appearance when dealing with customers. I felt invisible and at the same time, old and ugly ( I am 5'1, a tad overweight and red hair ) so maybe that's why I was being ignored. Has anyone else had this happen? I do work out, and am not a slob, plus I try to be good to everyone and smile when they greet me. Needless to say, I bought no clothes that day, and I really wanted a new pair or pants!!:-( SIGH>

Just call me a depressed and ugly duckling. Especially after sitting next to a stunning pal at my Weight Watchers meeting that morning who has lost over 50 lbs and runs 10ks. I will never look as good as she does, even if I forced off the weight. I am just unattractive in my face, and have large breasts so I look dumpy no matter how thin I get and that will not change. WHAAAAAAA
 
I actually PREFER to not be approached by staff at a retail store. I prefer to have the staff readily available incase I ASK for help but I hate going into a store and being "attacked". UGH!

Anyway, HUGS to you. I'm sorry it made you feel bad. Don't take it personally!!!
 
I wouldn't take it personally. I remember working in retail and yes, I greeted every customer but I got tired of it. It can be a hard and monotonous job and it becomes difficult to feign friendliness (it was for me anyway). Also, as another thread mentioned, people are less friendly nowadays - so there's that. I'm SURE it has nothing to do with you. I've seen greeters and retail workers completely ignore really attractive people too. They see a lot of people in one day and they all end up just running together - especially on the weekends.

Cheer up! I'm sure you're beautiful!! :)

Carolyn
 
I agree with both posters. People are less friendly these days and I to hate being greeted by people.
I went shopping this weekend as well and i wasn't greeted in either clothing store and no one asked if I needed help. I found the long pole thing myself and took down a shirt that was pretty much hung on the ceiling. The only time anyone really looked at me was when DS started screaming! I even went into a Lingere store and walked into the dressing rooms with no one around. Grant it, i wasn't trying on the underwear but there was no one there to stop me from doing so if I wanted to!
I wouldn't take it personnal either cause every store i went into, I could fit easily into their clothes and no one approached me either. I think people only do what they have to when their managers are around.
Lori
 
Your breaking my heart :( I'm so sorry you had such a bad day. Please keep in mind that retails stores frequently hire teens these days to save money. part time, no benefits, low hourly wage. to top it off they give them almost no customer service training. It all equals to a less than enjoyable shopping experience. I was actaully yelled at by a Blockbuster Video employee last week. He was having a bad day and took it out on me. i intend to write a letter to the corporate office. Something I have never done before. Sometimes the treatment we receive as customers as nothing to do with us. I'm sure your lovely. Chin up :)
 
I think it depends what store you're in. In the high-end stores, the salespeople gather round me because I'm a baby boomer and baby boomers spend big bucks. If I walked into a store aimed at teens, I imagine I wouldn't be approached at all.

At 45, if you walk into Bloomies or Saks you will be accosted! I swear the salesladies line up to see which one will get to wait on me first in the petite dept. at Bloomie's. I'm 51 and I feel like I need to bring a big stick to fight them off.

You're just shopping in the wrong stores, dahling. ;)
 
Another vote for not taking it to heart. I agree with Nancy that it all depends on where you shop, too. If you want lots of attention try Talbots. I avoid that store because the saleswomen are like leaches -- lol! I mean seriously, though, every single woman in that store will approach you until you just want to shout. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!":7
 
Well, you are posting on this forum so you are definitly NOT lazy.:p


You are too hard on yourself. I never get attention either when shopping. I never dress up either. I probably look like white trash. Oh well.

Always reminds me of that scene in Pretty Woman. LOL.

You are getting fit so what makes you think that one day you won't be like your friend or enjoy similar successes???

And I agree, having salespeople stuck to your butt is even more annoying, so count your blessings.

Shopping sucks all around. I avoid it all together, lol. Hope you have a better day today!;-)
 
It might be time for a little TLC. First go get fitted for a bra, Nordstroms has fitters, a good bra makes you appear so much leaner and taller.
Next, schedule a makeover or at least a makeup lesson from Laura Mercier or one of the cosmetic counters. Look for a lady whose makeup you admire and ask if they do makeup. Ask for a lesson, yes, you might feel obligated to buy something, but who cares? You will learn how to play up your best features.:)

As for your hair, if you hate it, maybe its time for a new style or cut with some highlights? Do not be afraid to approach someone whose hair you love and ask where they get it done?

Now walk into these stores, head held high-confidence is everything! And go find that perfect pair of pants.Beauty isn't in a number on the scale or when you lose that extra weight!

This is just my humble opinion, I have been there, those days you feel invisible and gross. But go do something about it, a new lipstick helps too! So does a good workout.:)

Keep smilin!:7
 
Geesh - I forgot my password was case sensitive - almost couldn't log on!

Anyways........

I agree with all the above - I hate being greeted at the door, but I would also hate to be ignored ALL the time too. I feel ya - and I agree with the above poster -

Go spend some money on a good hairstylist - my hair stylist fixed my mess for me years ago and its made a HUGE difference! I had gotten a bad hair dye job and she brought me back :) Wow what a difference - next I would go to the makeup counter as well - I didn't learn until the last few years really how to properly put on makeup and more is not necessarily the trick - and that makes a huge difference :)

Good luck to you - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! Don't let those rude customer service people get to you - the people that log on here are better than that!
 
I am sorry you had a bad day! I just had to post about going shopping though and not being greeted. I hope it makes you feel better... at least a little...

My 18 year old daughter just gave her notice at a large retail store where the big thing is to greet customers at the door and say what they call a "tagline". The tagline of the day is supposed to draw customer's attention to the new clothes the store has gotten in or other new items. She said everyone hated to greet and tagline there because 99% of the time customers entering just looked at the salespeople like they were being bothered... or acted like they didn't hear. She couldn't believe how offputting people were at times when she felt like she was just trying to be friendly. In addition, the store gave them zero customer service training and basically sent them out to the floor on their first day.

So... if it's any consolation, I can't imagine you were being ignored for any reason other than it seems most customers don't want to be bothered when entering a store. My daughter felt very much that way after working at that retail clothing store.
 
I'm with those who prefer to be left alone while shopping.

That said, I've found the best way to get attention is to want to be left alone while shopping. :p In all seriousness, & I think Nancy could probably verify this, when you live in the NYC metro area the only way to get attention is to walk into a store w/your head held high & your nose held higher. For some reasons salespeople seem to gravitate towards snooty shoppers. It's almost like the human tendency to want whatever you can't have.

Go figure.
 
Shheesh! What are you doing to yourself??? Only you have come up with the idea that no one approached you because you aren't Ford Modeling agency material. Guess what! Neither are the rest of us. So dust your self off, get a grip, and stop talking smack to yourself. I suspect your self deprecating aura made you unapproachable, not your weight, fashion sense, or any other negative ideas you might have. The next time you go shopping leave your attitude at the door. Befor expecting better treatment from others expect it from yourself and get some RuPaul attitude goin' on.

ETA
I didn't meant he above to sound harsh, just a friendly kick in the pants to be a little better to yourself!
 
I'm sorry you let rude salespeople make you feel bad about yourself.

Once, years ago, I was in a Sears looking for a portable CD player (I told you it was years ago!), and the salesGIRL seemed intent on ignoring me. She waited on some man looking at the display right behind me, ignored me, then went to chat with what appeared to be a friend of hers. I was p$@$#@d, but instead of feeling bad about myself, I went to the manager's office to lodge a complaint. And they wanted to make things right, so gave me $100 discount on a microwave oven that I was also interested in (I hadn't found a CD player that I really liked).
 
I've noticed such behavior is Worst Buy. For the most part, the sales people pay little attention to those of us peons buying small items and focus their attention on the big spenders. They need to those big commissions to pay those college loans they will be stuck with for eternity.
 
I normally can not stand when I am approached at a store...sometimes I just turn right around and leave..I am a bit of a loner and I like it that way. One day I had been working out, put on my makeup and had a few runs to the store...At one store the "guy" was so nervous he put my change in my bag:eek: I giggled inside and thought how cute..off to the next and was approached again for help...I know I didn't look confused as I was getting exactly what I set out for..but I realized that it felt good to be noticed. It only happened that day so I must have had a "cathe" confident glow. Don't take it personally... and don't be so hard on yourself I betcha you are beautiful.


duck
 
I agree with others that you are assuming you were not approached based on your insecurities when it may have been the "insecure" aura that kept staff away. It is far too harsh to assume you were ignored based on how you look!

As for sitting next to your friend who looks amazing and runs 10k's...use her as a resource! Ask her for tips, use her for motivation! Want to run 10k's??? THEN DO IT!! Find a training program that is appropriate to your skill level (running should always start out at very low mileage, a few days a week and ALWAYS a run/walk to start). You don't need a 6 pack to run 6.2 miles, otherwise they would have thrown me (and 99.9% of the runners) off the course a long time ago!
 
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