hubby's ex-wife died...

W

winter2b

Cathlete
Sorry, I know this isn't related to working out and fitness...but hubby just found out that his ex-wife passed away earlier this month. Has anyone else had to deal with anything like this? They had a somewhat ugly divorce (are they every nice?), but he's really going through the grieving process. I'm just trying to be there for him - encouraging him to talk to me and reinforcing that I won't ever try to take away what they shared in their time together. She had cancer and he stood by her through two rounds and she eventually left him...and we knew the day would likely come because she had some tumors at the time of their separation...but this really has knocked the wind out of his sails. I think he had expected her to try to contact him before something like this happened...

Anyhow - sorry this is so long...guess I just needed to "talk" to someone. If anyone else has been through something similar and has words to offer, they're always appreciated!

Thanks!
 
{{{{{{{{{{HUGS & PRAYERS}}}}}}}}}}}
No words of wisdom, DH and I are on our first marriages, so I have no experience like yours. But I just had to reply to let you know someone cares (I'm sure others do and will post with more and better postings) and is thinking of you and DH at a rough time.
 
Thanks ladies,

Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated. I just want to do the right thing for him...and I guess I just need to take his lead as far as what he needs.

It's an unfortunate and sad situation any way you slice it. Cancer sucks.
HTH
 
How old was she (not that cancer cares)? He will be okay BECAUSE you are w/ him and he will always remember your support.
 
I have read somewhere that you don't have to get mammograms until you are 40. Has anyone gone earlier? I am 34.
 
Heather, I've heard that if you have a family history of breast cancer, it's a good idea to ask your doctor if you should start earlier.

Maybe this is a completely inappropriate comment, but if my DH's ex-wife died, I think it would make quite a few people very happy. Winter, Obviously, your DH's ex-wife is nothing like her. Grieving takes time, but the human spirit is remarkable.

BTW, Winter, my brother had a very pleasant divorce, so it is possible for them not to be ugly.
 
>
>Maybe this is a completely inappropriate comment, but if my
>DH's ex-wife died, I think it would make quite a few people
>very happy.

:) Same for Bf's Ex.

>
>BTW, Winter, my brother had a very pleasant divorce, so it is
>possible for them not to be ugly.

I second this too...I seem to agree with all of your comments today Nancy ;)


I think that the only thing that you can do for your DH is to help him through the grieving process as you would with any other friend or family member. That is what this person was ...a friend and family member. It is very hard to see someone that you care about (and let's face it, they were married and there was an attachment there at some point in time, even if it died later) suffer through an illness and a lot of times, there are regrets about how much they suffered, not saying a final goodbye, etc.

It's so hard losing someone after you fought with them too, in my opinion, b/c after it all, you reilaze that some of those fights were stupid and not necesasry. I regret fighting with my dad to this day over some stupid things (and we were very clsoe but had our arguments) and he is gone almost ten years. All of that leads to an internal turmoil and a grieving process that can just hurt a lot.

Support him. Let him talk...or not talk. You are obviously a very understanding, wonderful wife and he is lucky to have you by his side today adn every day.

Hugs,
Christine :)
 
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