How to Support Husband Who is Trying to Quit Smoking

M

motherofsix

Cathlete
Hello Ladies,
My husband has now been smoke free for the last 15 hours. He had been smoking for the last 30 years. June 25th is our 20th wedding anniversary and he wants to be smoke free and past the most miserable days by then. It is part of his anniversary present to me. He had promised to quit 20 years ago before we were married and hasn't been able to do it yet. The other part of his present to me was the Intensity Series on DVD and a new DVD player. I am enjoying those presents already.
If he quits for good I am going to buy him a new guitar for his anniversary present and we are going out to dinner to celebrate both our anniversary and his being smoke free.
So my question is: How can I help him through this? What can I do or not do that will help him? Would this be a good time to introduce him to Cathe weight training? He has been wanting to give her tapes a try. Any suggestions would be extremely appreciated. I think I am more tense about his quitting than he is. I want him to get free of this nicotine addiction.
Thanks in advance for your help. You ladies are terrific!
Heather
 
Try not to take it personally if/when he snaps or seems agitated with you. My hubby quit a few years ago and he had some tough times with it, but he's over it now. Stern love is what he needs now. Good luck!
 
A former roommate of mine who was a social work majjor said that it's helpful to eat a lot of citrus fruits when trying to quit smoking because the two don't go together well. Sounds kind of like milk/grapefruit or milk/cranberry sauce, two really disgusting combos!

I just read somewhere that hypnotism works very well for quittiing smoking. Some people only need one session to eliminate their cravings.
 
Hey Heather! Good luck! I hope this works for both of your health. The 25th is only 3 weeks away. As a former smoker, I can tell you that isn't that long but long enough that he will be well on his way by then. Yes, now would be a great time to introduce him to weight training IF he is game. The other suggestions you've gotten are great. I would also add that he should drink LOTS of water. He'll be so busy going "p" that he won't have time to think about smoking. Besides, it will help flush his system.
 
Hi Heather,

From having tried to quit smoking multiple times, I'd say one of the biggest things is be super understanding if he is short with you, or just not himself. Some points in the cravings get very stressful and it becomes easy to snap or lash out just to release some of the stress. I find you are constantly struggling to stop yourself from doing it, and if and when you do do it, you feel really badly. The more patient and understanding and loving you can be in the face of no matter what (well you know what I mean), the more help it is so the person doesn't have to worry about fighting at the same time.

Did he try using the patch? I've found that helps immensely to control the physical part of it.

Good luck to him and you!
 
I unsed the patch to quit in 1992, and it was actually EASY! I know guys tend to shy away from the patch and try to be matcho (spelling?) by going cold turkey, but they work!
 
I turned 40, Weds. I quit 3 years ago by using the patch, but last year when I started having so many problems with my daughter, I started snitching them again. I have been snitching for over a year now. I smoke maybe 5-6 a day, sometimes more, and some days, not at all. I smoked a few on my 40th, but I have vowed that I am going to stop again. I work out, eat healthy, but have this horrid addiction and craving for cigs. I dream about smoking at night. It is the hardest thing I have ever gone thru, was to quit smoking. It was worse than my divorce. So, I am at it again. I have a patch on, and I suck on the new Commit Lozenges when I still want one so bad I could cry. My father had a heart attack, which he had actually died, but they revived him, and triple bypass at 42. That is now not far from me. So, I am off again. Be patient, for some it is a very hard thing. Your husband will probably also go thru a period of depression. Just be patient, it will get better.
Lori
 
Good luck to your husband, and to you!! It will be two yrs this August since I quit the habit of 25 yrs--for me, the most helpful thing was the nicotine gum--I tried the patch, but it irritated my skin, and the zyban kept me up at night, but the gum was a lifesaver.
I also started walking at that time, mainly as a way to divert my attention, and here almost two yrs later I just ran my first 10k, and am doing my second one next weekend!!! I agree with just try to be understanding if he snaps at you, or is moody, and if he should "fall off the wagon", just encourage him to try again--practice makes perfect!!

Best of luck to you both--HE CAN DO IT!

Jayne
 
RE: praise, habits and Zyban

Heather,

Hats off to you & your hubby! My mother could not quit and died last year at 60yo of lung cancer. I miss her every day.

I have a close relative & another friend who quit this year, one who had smoked for 45 years - his wife got lung cancer from secondhand smoke, he quit out of guilt. Both my friends swear by Zyban - it really killed the cravings and put them (as they said) on an "even keel".

Some of their hints:
Keep your hubby away from those habits and locations that go with smoking - stay out of restaurants & bars where they smoke. If he used to smoke outside stores while you shopped, stop shopping for a while - online shopping! Give him new things to do when going to the car after an event or meal - sometimes the getting-in or getting-out-of-the-car craving is the worse. You might give him things to carry or maps to read. Or in the bathroom - when he's taking care of business - this is where my Dad did most of his smoking (dead at 52 of cancer too). Put some magazines or crossword puzzles in there. Even letters or junk mail to read.

The first cig of the day sometimes is the hardest to resist. Set an alarm downstairs or off in the kitchen in the AM - instead of laying in bed thinking about that first AM cigarette he'll have to run off to get the alarm, next thing you know he's up & about doing things. My Mom actually gave up coffee - she was trying to quit when she was on chemotherapy and getting radiation treatments. She so much associated that cup o' joe with a cigarette. She could not drink coffee without wanting something in her fingers. She actually took up several herbal drinks instead.

I think the biggest suggestion I have is praise. I was talking to a girlfriend last week who is trying to quit after 25 years of smoking. And I said to her "you know, no matter what happens tomorrow or next week or next month, I am so proud of you for not smoking TODAY. Right on & good for you!" She had tears in her eyes - she said "nobody knows how hard it is, sometimes I think I have the strength today but I'll never have it day-in and day-out for months and years".

Praise your hubby at the end of each day. If he slips, no comments. Just praise when he tries again. That way he won't feel he has to hide things from you.

Good luck, this may be a tough battle for both of you but in the long run it's a decision for life.

Dawn
 
Hello Again Ladies,
My husband and myself would like to thank you for all your support and suggestions. He has now been smoke free for 72 hours. Praise God. We found a wonderful site for those who choose to quit "Cold Turkey". It is www.whyquit.com You can't join until you have been nicotine free for 72 hours. But they have tons of information to read and you can read the posts while waiting to join.

I was able to get my husband to do the first 20 minutes of Pure Strength--Chest, Shoulders, and Triceps. Hey, it is a start. He says he will be sore tomorrow, but it beats smoking. Actually he is pretty good on those pushups--he has strong arms.

Thanks for all your prayers and keep on praying. One day at a time--just never take another puff!
Heather and Vince
 
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