How to "relax"?

nancy324

nancy324

Cathlete
I think maybe I'm not good at relaxing. I live in NYC, and sometimes the crowds really get on my nerves. I spent 2 frazzled weeks trying to get ready to go away for one week of vacation. Finally, my DH and I left for what we thought would be a relaxing little cruise to Nova Scotia last Saturday. The ship had 3000 passengers and 1100 crew members. When I woke in the morning, I had to get dressed, go up 7 flights, just to stand on a long line to get a bit of toast and a cup of coffee. There were lines for everything. As soon as I got home, even though I still had 4 days of vacation left, I started getting nervous anticipating my workload on Monday. The whole relaxation thing just seems to elude me.

Does anyone else have trouble "relaxing"? Has anyone discovered the key to relaxation? How do you relax?

-Nancy who is Clueless in NYC
 
I think maybe I'm not good at relaxing. I live in NYC, and sometimes the crowds really get on my nerves. I spent 2 frazzled weeks trying to get ready to go away for one week of vacation. Finally, my DH and I left for what we thought would be a relaxing little cruise to Nova Scotia last Saturday. The ship had 3000 passengers and 1100 crew members. When I woke in the morning, I had to get dressed, go up 7 flights, just to stand on a long line to get a bit of toast and a cup of coffee. There were lines for everything. As soon as I got home, even though I still had 4 days of vacation left, I started getting nervous anticipating my workload on Monday. The whole relaxation thing just seems to elude me.

Does anyone else have trouble "relaxing"? Has anyone discovered the key to relaxation? How do you relax?

-Nancy who is Clueless in NYC
 
RE: How to

Nance, I am *terrible* at relaxing... which is one of the reasons I married my DH!! He's *fabulous* at relaxing, so I sometimes look at him and try to copy his behavior. I can rarely achieve his level, though!
In our first month together, I would always ask him what he was thinking about... until the day he was sitting quietly, looking off to the side. After a few minutes like this, I asked him what he was thinking about: "The clouds and how the light changes" is what he said.
Um, if someone asks me what I'm thinking about, I can rattle off 10 things before they're done asking! :p So I try and think about changing how much I'm thinking about. Never works, but I will always remember the way he said he was thinking about clouds. LOL

Another thing I've learned to do is look at things from the flip side: what happens if I don't do what I'm stressing to accomplish? And then I can weigh the outcome of not doing it against the outcome of doing it, and that can help me a LOT. If I'm not afraid of the consequence of not accomplishing something, it means the actual action of accomplishing it is a CHOICE, and that helps me put things in perspective sometime.

Not that I could ever think of coffee as a "choice", especially for you!!! LOL
 
RE: How to

Nance, I am *terrible* at relaxing... which is one of the reasons I married my DH!! He's *fabulous* at relaxing, so I sometimes look at him and try to copy his behavior. I can rarely achieve his level, though!
In our first month together, I would always ask him what he was thinking about... until the day he was sitting quietly, looking off to the side. After a few minutes like this, I asked him what he was thinking about: "The clouds and how the light changes" is what he said.
Um, if someone asks me what I'm thinking about, I can rattle off 10 things before they're done asking! :p So I try and think about changing how much I'm thinking about. Never works, but I will always remember the way he said he was thinking about clouds. LOL

Another thing I've learned to do is look at things from the flip side: what happens if I don't do what I'm stressing to accomplish? And then I can weigh the outcome of not doing it against the outcome of doing it, and that can help me a LOT. If I'm not afraid of the consequence of not accomplishing something, it means the actual action of accomplishing it is a CHOICE, and that helps me put things in perspective sometime.

Not that I could ever think of coffee as a "choice", especially for you!!! LOL
 
RE: How to

Carnival cruise? I went on that one a few years back. I really enjoyed it but I understand about the lines...my lease fav. part for breakfast. I think relaxing has a lot to do with letting go and not having expectations of anything. Honestly it has a lot to do with a daily mindset than thinking that a cruise will make you relax. I know if I expect anything from a trip I'm sure to be disappointed. I try to think of it more of "let's see what adventure happens this time" I live in Philadelphia...big city...not as big as NY of course.
If you needed to get away from people and noise maybe do a mountain resort next time
 
RE: How to

Carnival cruise? I went on that one a few years back. I really enjoyed it but I understand about the lines...my lease fav. part for breakfast. I think relaxing has a lot to do with letting go and not having expectations of anything. Honestly it has a lot to do with a daily mindset than thinking that a cruise will make you relax. I know if I expect anything from a trip I'm sure to be disappointed. I try to think of it more of "let's see what adventure happens this time" I live in Philadelphia...big city...not as big as NY of course.
If you needed to get away from people and noise maybe do a mountain resort next time
 
RE: How to

DH and I differ on how we like to spend our vacation. He likes to pack as much into each day as possible. I like to go somewhere and lie on a beach. :) We've compromised over the years and like to spend some days doing the site-seeing things and some days with more downtime.

As far as when we're not on vacation, it's really, really hard to relax. If I'm at home I'm constantly thinking about things that need to be done around the house, errands to run, things to do with the kids, upcoming projects at work, etc. About the only time I can relax are those precious minutes after a workout when I take time to stretch.

I can also relax during those rare occasions I get a massage or pedicure at the spa. (DH buys me a gift certificate for my birthday and Christmas.) I especially enjoy the pedicures because I have "something to show" afterwards in my nicely painted toes. Do you enjoy spa treatments? Maybe you need to schedule some "me" time.

Sue
 
RE: How to

Nance, my prescription for your next vacation:
http://www.mohonk.com/

I saw this on Travel Channel a couple of years ago... I was *so* unbelievably sick for 2 days, I couldn't even change the channel! I watched a lot of the Travel Channel those days, LOL. This place was so cool and so nice I wanted to book our vacation right then!!!

"Mohonk Mountain House is a Full American Plan resort. Rates include accommodations, three meals daily, Afternoon Tea and Cookies, and most activities. Guests delight in Mohonk's turn-of-the-century ambience and enjoy meals prepared by award-winning chefs, whose efforts have won numerous medals in national culinary competitions."
 
RE: How to

I'm going to have a massage on Monday & I know this will help me relax. I love the dark room, and quiet "meditation" music besides the actual massage part. I would wonder how one could not relax in this atmoshere. On a typical day it's hard for me to relax because my two young kids are always on the go go go. The second I sit down, they want a drink or snack or fighting about something etc....

So I'll get to be away from all that and have some down time!!!
 
RE: How to

I'm with you, Nancy, when I'm home. I can think of 20 jobs that need to be done, then fret and fume until they are finished, at which time I have listed 20 more. But I do know how to relax on vacation. You go somewhere NOT crowded and quiet with a good book and good company. DH go camping which is a huge headache packing, until we get there, then the hardest thing to be done all day is grill the burgers. Or we go to the beach where we sit and read all day. That's why we love St John in the Virgin Islands. The beaches are not crowded, the scenery is lovely, the pace is slow and the restaurants are wonderful. I don't think DH and I will ever on on a cruise. We'd rather get there fast and take things slow. Of course, it took me years to learn this vacation philosophy. I used to try to jam as much into a day as I could, and still move pretty fast if we visit a city with lots of sights. I remember taking our youth group camping in Maine one year. My DH had to pull me aside and tell me to slow down, I was scaring the kids.
 
RE: How to

I don't mean to chuckle, but you and LauraMax should sign up for a meditation class! I needed to giggle a little, forgive me.

"You can't win them all - but you can try." - Babe Zaharias http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/musik/music-smiley-004.gif[/img]
 
RE: How to

Wondered where you have been.
Hope you had a great time.
Was it nice.
No I don't relax.
I work , workout, cook, clean , drink some wine and sleep.
I am told I am a workaholic.
I have to be doing something or sleeping.
So, When you figure it out. Let me know.
Anne
http://www.picturetrail.com/acatalina
 
RE: How to

Oh, Ame, Mohonk is beautiful. I've been there several times (usually when my parents were paying) and love love love it. However, it was a bit too expensive for me in this Year of Major Dental Work. If you plan to go there, Ame, think "job in the private sector" after you graduate. ;)
-Nancy
 
RE: How to

Hey Nancy, I'm just throwing this out there. Are you sure you are in the right field? I mean, if going back to work in four days puts you in a tizzy, should this be your job? I usually don't start to dread Monday morning until late Sunday afternoon. Well, OK, sometimes Sunday morning, but if I still had 4 days off, heck, that's still 4 days off!

ETA: Maybe you need to start listening to Jimmy Buffett!
 
RE: How to

How do I relax? The only thing that truly relaxes me is working out and watching t.v. If I read, my mind wanders and I think of stuff to do. I find I can relax a lot more when I am not at home. Even on vacation I tend to stress about scheduling what to do for the day and when I will get my workout in. I am so much of control freak that it is hard for me to unwind. Everything has to be just so for me to finally relax.

Susan
 
RE: How to

I know what you're saying, Robin. But I've found that, when it comes to work, I'm either scared or I'm bored. And guess what? I strongly prefer scared! Weird, but true.
-Nancy
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top