How do you handle people who ask for money???

[Carmen829]

This is the oldest story in the book. My ex-husband was into drugs really bad and used this same story to get money for his habit. After we divorced he especially hit up anyone I knew with the story that I was stranded in a near by town with the boys and I called him for help, but he needed money for the gas to get me. He tried to run this on my mechanic at the time who told him "if she was stranded she'd call me not you!". he was so right.

I tell them I dont give money. I offer to call police officer for help for their car. If they say its for food I keep energy bars or an MRE in my car and offer that. If they are sincere they take the food.

Some cities/towns have ordinances against panhandling. If its a real problem the police should be called but most of the time they know about these folks.

Carmen.

 

[maddiesmum]

Versions of this same scam are perpetrated at my local Borders store on a weekly basis. I am repeatedly approached. Sometimes the storyline varies a little, but not much. I tell them to get lost and stop repeating themselves since they asked me the same old crap the previous week. I didn't give them any money my husband sweated to earn then and I 'aint giving them any now. This is their country, they have the legal right to get jobs and earn money to support themselves. I do not. I am on a dependent visa which does not allow me to work and get paid and it's been like this for a couple of years now. Give my famaily's money away to people who physically and legally can earn their own when I legally cannot? I think not.

And anyway, you don't owe them any response at all. Just go about your business, get in your car, turn the music up loud and drive away.

Clare

 

[morningstar]

Living in Toronto, I get hit on about 5-10 times a day for change from homeless people. I do sometimes give change to homeless people if I have it and I'm in the mood, so it is somewhat arbitrary. However, I always say, "I'm sorry Ma'am/Sir, good luck to you/stay warm," etc., and smile.

I also get hit on by scammers and people running a racket of some kind- not really a scam, but not really legit either and playing on people's guilt. For instance, at subway stations and the Eaton Centre, there are always well-dressed young black men "giving away" leaflets on Black History. If you try to take one, they ask for a donation of at least $5. They try to get stupid white people to think it's Black History Month- every month! and that your money is going to some charity to help black youths, but it's not. The leaflets are poorly done, with typos, very bad grammar and inaccuracies rampant. How do I know this? I fell for it - once, when they first started doing it.

There are also charities approaching you on the street constantly. They used to go door to door, now they stand in pairs on either side of a sidewalk and try to get your attention to get you to give monthly. These are very well known charities- Amnesty International, World Wildlife Fund, Hospital for Sick Children, etc. The scam part? All of these charities, about 20 of them, are being represented by the same fundraising company, who takes a huge cut of the take before your money ever gets to the charity. The company just changes the vests and clipboards of the fundraisers for different charities. So people think they are donating directly to the charity via these sweet young things with the clipboards who are working so hard on behalf of these charities, but those sweet young things will be hitting on you tomorrow for a different charity. Sometimes on my way home I will be approached by 5 different pairs of fundraisers, all for the same company. Really pisses me off, and ensures that I will never ever donate to any of those charities. By the way, I used to be a professional fundraiser and what they are doing is leading to donor fatigue- people who get hit on constantly will stop giving to anyone at all. I don't have a problem with charities approaching me directly; I do have a problem with these charities using a company that pretends to be all these charities.

 

[lori254]

I always say no and keep on moving. We have plenty of social agencies in Canada to help people who are legitimately in need. I do not want to possibly help support someone's drug habit or disinclination to work for a living.

 

[booboo39]

When they are brave enough to come up to me in a parking lot I tell them if they follow me to my car I have some job applications to McDonalds and Taco Bell. If they come up to my window then I reach into my glove box and pull out a job application and hand it over. Works like a charm!
Booboo

 

[Beavs]

I keep a change purse filled with wooden nickels for such occasions

 

[exer_cited]

Does anyone ever encounter the groups of people that converage at intersections and go from car to car with big buckets asking for money from the cars that are waiting for the light to turn green??

If it's the town's fire department collecting for Muscular Dystropy, I'm okay with that. However, if it's a random group of people with big buckets hanging around their necks that say "collecting for the homeless", I tend to wonder if their intentions are good.

And they always come out of the woodwork the week after the fire department's been out there....crafty!

One of these days I'm going to think of something clever to say to them...

 

[Josie]

Hi All,

There is a woman that stands on a street that I pass by every day and she is always asking for money. My friend and I were on our way to get some coffee one morning and we saw her eating her breakfast in a very nice SUV. She saw us turned away, but this did not stop her from begging. I wish I could stand next to her and tell everyone that goes by and gives her money that she is a fake.

Josie

 

[MCunningham]

You guys are more jaded than I! Call me a sap, but I always give them the money, even if I have to empty out all my change because it's all I have on me in cash. I know some of them may be con artists or drug addicts or alcoholics, but in all honesty, I'd rather give $5 to 20 con artists if it meant that I could help one person who was truly in need. I guess I view it like karma-- if I'm ever desperate enough to ask someone for money and I was really in need, then I would hope to have the same kindness extended to me.

MC

 

[lori254]

You guys are more jaded than I! Call me a sap, but I always give them the money, even if I have to empty out all my change because it's all I have on me in cash. I know some of them may be con artists or drug addicts or alcoholics, but in all honesty, I'd rather give $5 to 20 con artists if it meant that I could help one person who was truly in need. I guess I view it like karma-- if I'm ever desperate enough to ask someone for money and I was really in need, then I would hope to have the same kindness extended to me.

MC

As I mentioned in a previous post, there are numerous social agencies in Canada (not sure about the situation in the U.S.) whose purpose it is to help the legitimately disadvantaged. I do support these agencies financially and my conscience is clean, knowing that I do help those in need.
Having said that, I support your right to contribute directly to street beggars, and I will not label you for choosing to do that.

 

[gogigi]

This is sad that in this economy when there are plenty of people who really do need help that there are people who are milking it and scamming. I try to pray about situations and give or help if I feel led to if that makes sense. For example, I've been thinking a lot about what it would be like to be homeless and instead of avoiding the people holding the "will work for food" signs I'll pray for them and I want to be willing to do what I can to help meet an immediate need for them. One day, I passed a guy holding the sign and it was lunch time so I went to Chick-Fil-A and ordered him a wrap and some lemonade and got back on the highway so I could get back off the exit and hand him the lunch. I just felt like it was something I needed to do on that particular day for that particular guy. I hate being directly approached though and I usually have an internal "something" that goes off and make me feel uneasy. I won't give out of pressure or to be perceived as "nice."

 

[ldy_solana]

As I mentioned in a previous post, there are numerous social agencies in Canada (not sure about the situation in the U.S.) whose purpose it is to help the legitimately disadvantaged. I do support these agencies financially and my conscience is clean, knowing that I do help those in need.
Having said that, I support your right to contribute directly to street beggars, and I will not label you for choosing to do that.

ITA with this. although many are strained b/c of tough times, there are plenty more willing to help. for SOME ppl though they don't want to follow the rules that go along with this help. we get many drifters that ask for money but they refuse help at our many shelters and salvation army b/c part of it is you have to learn skills at their many programs which lead to getting a job or just get a job. you can stay as long as you need but if you are capable you have to learn to do it on your own.

there is a difference between help and handouts. while i feel bad for anybody that doesn't have nearly what i have there is a fine line about who wants the HELP to get back on their feet and those who just panhandle and don't bother at least trying.

as above, i donate directly to charities and participate in food drives,coat drives etc with our local ymca. i am not rolling in the dough, i am struggling like many working middle class families so i do want to know for sure my little i can give is going to the help it needs and not to support an addiction, i support my own addictions and expect others to do the same on their own. i cannot judge if that is their way of life but i don't want to pay for it either. i do no good to somebody broke or dead b/c of running into some random person on the street that will go to extremes(and could be high or just violent natured). call me paranoid but i trust NO one i do not know personally and my alert is always high especially if i have my child with me.

kassia