Helping my son learn to ride a bike

J

joyce619

Cathlete
Can anyone give advice on how to help my son learn to ride a bike? He is 8 1/2 years old and hasn't ridden a bike since we took his training wheels off when he was 5. He has always been the kind of person who wants to do everything by himself, even when he learned to walk. He wouldn't let us help him by holding his hands, he just leaned on everything then one day took the big step by himself when he was 15 months.

I let the issue slide for awhile but I feel he is missing out on so much. Esp. when his friends all ride bikes and ask him to go along and he says no I'll go inside.

I feel he is missing out on something important in his childhood. I've bribed him with rewards to his favorite places and it still doesn't work.
He'll practice for five minutes and then say "I don't want to do it."

Should I just let it go?

I am afraid he is going to come back to me in 10 years and say you never taught me to ride a bike!
I love bike riding and would love to go on rides with him.
Any advice is appreciated!
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boy can I relate!!

My daughter didn't learn to ride till she was almost 8. Like you, we took the training wheels off at 5, most of her little cohorts in crime were learning to ride at that time and we thought she was ready. . . we TRIED, and we TRIED, and we TRIED, and we TRIED over the course of two years. I cannot tell you the benefit it had on my fitness level chasing after her all bent over pushing her bike. . . Unlike your son, she WOULD let us help her for a while. Then she'd get frustrated and quit. She would cry and cry and cry and cry. Having other adults work with her helped. Does your son have a favorite grandparent? aunt or uncle? friend of yours? neighbor?? --maybe he would tolerate help from them a little better. So anyway, she was almost eight when it finally clicked. If your son keeps working with it, even on his own, it WILL eventually "click". I think that working on it for 5 minutes is great. Face it, how FUN is it to just try to ride your bike? Sure, riding is fun, but trying unsuccessfully?? NOT VERY. So let him quit when he gets frustrated. Pushing beyond frustration is NOT going to help. Just encourage him to try a little while every day.

BTW, now when my daughter wants to quit something because the going gets rough we are able to remind her "remember when you were learning to ride your bike and you tried for TWO WHOLE YEARS?? --remember how you finally DID IT, and how HAPPY you were??" It is such a wonderful learning experience for them to conquer something like this. Perseverance paying off is definitely a rewarding experience for kids. Not only will he be able to ride a bike, but he will have learned a VERY valuable life lesson!

The only hint that really seemed to help our daughter was when we told her to look straight down the sidewalk. That seemed to help her balance because it kept her head straight. We took her to a parking lot pretty frequently so she didn't have to focus on a thin strip of sidewalk (although ultimately when she finally mastered it, it was on the sidewalk).

Don't give up. Don't let him give up. I agree that riding a bike is SO valuable and enriching. Learning a big skill like this deserves a big incentive reward!! What can you motivate him with?? A PlayStation game? A trip to a sporting event? Think of something that would really motivate him and offer it as a reward. Mastering a skill certainly deserves a reward.

If I think of any other hints I'll post them. By the way, my daughter ALSO wouldn't hold hands or hang on in order to walk. She never cruised around the furniture like most kids do. She could crawl so fast I had to literally break into a jog to catch her. She FINALLY walked, totally unassisted, at 16 months. I think you and I both have bull-headed kids, what do you think?? LOL
 
and a P.S.

Can your son swim?? That's another one of those skills I feel it is important to master as a child because it is so hard as an adult. . . I won't share the entire story here but it involves summer after summer of swimming lessons, it involves screaming bloody murder, hanging on for dear life to a swim instructor in the middle of the pool, it involved many, many tears and scenes, it involved trying and failing and trying and failing and trying and failing until we were BOTH limp with exhaustion, but finally, at the age (again) of almost 8, she DID IT!!!!

And their pride in themselves when they master something like this is DIRECTLY proportional to the pain you both go through when they're trying, so ultimately it is very worth it. In the meanwhile, just buy stock in Miss Clairol and take some Paxil.
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hehe
 
my son just learned...

We tried a few months ago and he couldn't figure it out. We put his training wheels back on and told him to practice riding again, figuring he needed to get comfortable with the feel of the bike again. Then, one day his friend came over and just learned how to ride a bike. My son had to do it that day. We went out and practiced and he had to learn how to keep his balance by adjusting front wheel with his handlebars. I was surprised how quickly he learned this time.

I was concerned about my son from the prior experience and I searched the internet for some help. I found a video you can buy for $20 that supposedly has some balancing exercises you can do in your home. I never did buy the video but I kept it in my mind as a last resort. I don't have the website anymore but I'm sure you can find it by doing a search in Yahoo for it. Where your son is 8 1/2 I probably would go ahead and buy the video. My son is only 5 so I felt like I had a while for him to try before I needed to get the video. But like I said, I have never purchased the video, never heard from anyone whether it works or not - it just looked very interresting. The man I guess has helped grown adults learn to ride a bike in 10 minutes after doing these exercises a few times. Post back if you can't find the video and I will search for it.
 
Me, too...

Joyce,

I'm in the same spot, teaching my 7-year old daughter how to ride a bike without training wheels.

I saw one mom in the neighborhood lash a pole to the back frame of her son's bike and chase behind him, holding up the bike and letting him steer and keep his balance. That seems like a great technique. Amazingly enough, one day he was doing great and she had rigged the pole up so that she just pulled it out of the rope knot on his frame and he KEPT ON RIDING without her! I got to see his maiden flight, so to speak -- and I don't even know that he KNEW she wasn't behind him anymore!

I've been practicing, trying this technique with our daughter, will just take more time. One friend said her daughter practiced at a friend's house (new bike-rider, no less) by biking over a lawn right into a hedge...smash! over and over. Finally, she could balance it and took off on her own -- her mother could not believe it. She dropped her daughter off to play and came back two hours later and she knew how to ride a bike without the training wheels!! Of course, it's much easier practicing by plowing somebody else's bike into a hedge...

I am finding she does better by focusing on the road ahead of her bike, and I also lowered the seat a smidge so that she feels like she can "catch" herself by putting her feet on the ground if she begins to fall.

Good luck, I know how frustrating this is! The peer pressure is tremendous.

Dawn P.
 
I thought we were the only ones,

My daughter will be 8 on the 20th and she doesn't know how to ride a bike either. My husband's B-Day was yesterday and I got him a new bike. He told Stevie(my daughter) that we'd like for the whole family to go on bike rides. We had 2 other (older) kids who learned to ride at ages 3&4. Do you know what her reply was? "Biking is not my thing." She said she wanted to learn she tried 3 times and gave up, she won't even get the bike out of the garage! I don't have any advice, but I wanted to let you know you are not alone and this makes me feel better because I thought we were. Please keep me posted about your sucess and any pointer you might have when that happy day arrives.
 
My son had a hard time, too!

My son is seven and he is just now riding without the training wheels. We bought him his "big boy" bike when he was four and he was terrified. He was so afraid he was going to tip, even with the training wheels. He had a little buddy the same age next door who rode and rode and he desperately wanted to keep up and was completely frustrated by his immense fear. He was terrified of falling. I found out a couple of months after he turned four that he has amblyopia in his left eye and basically no depth perception. I immediately realized that his fear was due to his spatial disability. After a year of intense patching (no fun...the eye doctor even had us put a very strong extended wear prescription contact in his "good" eye for a time which he rubbed out and lost in bed without fail each night.) his vision had improved from 200/20 to 25/20 and his bike fear has all but disappeared. Looking back, I feel terrible minimizing his fears back then. I had no idea that they had a basis. Basically, after that deal, I relaxed and figured he'd take the initiative when HE was ready and he did.
 
similar problem

My oldest son is 9 and learned how to ride without training wheels at 5 with no problems. However, we bought him a bigger bike two years ago and he is terrified of it. Now, he won't ride his old bike because it is too small and he feels self-conscious and feels he "can't" ride the bigger one. When he tries to ride the bigger one it is as if he never rode a bike before - he is so scared he can't even steer - I don't get it and feel bad because he is missing out on all the fun he used to have bike riding.
Erica
 
Two years without biking?

Erica,

Boy, my heart broke reading your note about your 9-year-old not biking for TWO years because of the new "bigger" bike. Has he tried it lately? He's probably grown so much that it won't be too big anymore.

You could also try lowering his seat and see if that helps him overcome that fear of falling, he can put his feet on the ground.

How about a garage-sale bargain mid-sized bike in the meantime?

Maybe a project with the bike as a "harmless" object, like Dad and him painting his bike or replacing the chain and practicing tire repair or putting on a new bigger seat with a gel pad or something inanimate like that would help with that fear.

Two years! Yikes, I'm afraid at the rate my daughter's going, she may avoid the training wheel "baby" bike and refuse to learn the "big" kid bike -- and I'm going to be very sad if that lasts two years.

Good luck!

Dawn P.
 
Family rides...

Aimee,

Have you considered getting an AlleyCat or one of those tandem attachments for your bike? Or buying a real tandem bike? Then your daughter could join you and feel like someone else is in control.

And you could have family outings guilt-free.

Boy, this biking thing is very stressful for us parents. Do you think we'll ever tell our kids when they're older how worried we were, or by then are we so worried about gangs and drugs and teenager-hood that this all pales by comparison?

Dawn P.
 
My daughter is the same way

My daughter will be six in December. We have a hard time getting her to even try her bicycle WITH TRAINING WHEELS. When she does get on, she asks us to push her and gives up peddling after a few times. I would say this is laziness, but this is the same kid who can run circles around me!(I think what she really wants is the attention).

My son is not even three. He is already going nuts with his little plastic trike. He loves it and enjoys going downhill on our driveway directly towards our parked cars and our backyard. Our backyard leads to a forest and a steep drop. I've told my husband to watch him when he does this because I can't even look. I have visions of him tumbling over the small cliff.

Life is weird,

Irene
 
Hi Dawn!

We try the bike every once in a while - very low-key and no pressure. The bike isn't too big for him, I think it's all psychological at this point - he just thinks it is and is scared to ride it. He'll try it for a while and then he will have some mysterious pain and can't possibly try anymore. He is a very, very bright boy and is used to things coming easy for him and has a hard time dealing with the frustration of having to actually work at something. He is a perfectionist and, if he can't do something right the first time, he just doesn't want to do it.
It is possible that your daughter will skip the "baby" bike, but some day will just hop on a big kid bike and start riding. My friend's son did this - he wouldn't ride with his friends for years and one day (I think he was 7 or 8) just decided he was going to do it and he did - it was amazing!! Good luck!!
Erica
 
Same thing here...

My son (nearly 9) is still trying to master the art of bike riding, and I have no patience lately for it plus the heat (I'm also pregnant so I think that's where my short fuse lies) so my husband has been trying to take him out. I think I will tell him about the pole thing. He also does not roller blade well...he's just not very coordinated.

My daughter (nearly 3) on the other hand skates, follows some aerobic tapes (like Tae Bo or walkaerobic stuff), skips, jumps up onto things or off of things, and rides a tricycle already! She is afraid of nothing, which frightens me. Of course this is the same little girl who swings heavy toys around no problem so I think I've got trouble :)

Stephanie
 
aren't they fascinating?

My 8 year old who just learned to ride a bike is also a very poor roller-skater! She is FEARLESS, but not terribly coordinated, LOL! I find children fascinating. Their little personalities and their gifts/talents and weak areas are SO pronounced, even from birth. I've had a very aggressive and physical personality, a very introspective, analytical, and sober personality, and a slap-happy socialite personality. They all have to be handled somewhat differently, don't they? I often say that it's amazing my kids even belong to the same SPECIES, let alone the same family, they are so different. Wonder what you'll be having next??? (I knew I was in trouble before my oldest was even born. . . She was so active that my family's entertainment was to sit across the room from me and watch my belly jump). I gotta say, the slap-happy socialite is the easiest to manage, maybe we can hope for one of those for you, LOL!! I was miserably and hugely pregnant in the heat of summer twice, so I feel for ya!!
 
Hi Susan

I hope I am that lucky, my DS is very high strung emotionally; but, he was such an easy baby! I mean slept through the night (4-6 hours) practically from the first night and all...not so with my daughter...so I am stocking up on sleep now just in case. I think this one will be relatively laid back, at least that's what my gut tells me--but that's been wrong before :)

Stephanie
 
hi joyce

I taught my son(now 13) to ride by taking him to a large field and letting him ride in the grass w/o the training wheels and with me holding the back of the seat while running behind him. I would occasionally let go...if he fell it was a soft landing in the grass. He eventually picked up the technique and was good to go. He used to pedal his little bike around the track while I jogged. Now...he mountain bikes with me!
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Trevor
 
a reminder

Make sure the bikes you buy for your kids fit them. That is....there should be some bend in the knee at the bottom of the pedal stroke and perhaps an inch of gap between the crotch and the the top tube when they straddle the bike. I see alot of parents who buy bikes way too big for their kids thinking they are allowing room for them to grow into them. This contributes to awkward pedalling and possibly a feeling like they will fall while trying to control a bike that is too big. If money is an issue, just buy dept. store bikes while they are growing like weeds. When they are older, then perhaps you'd try a bike store brand.
Trevor
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YOWZA, Trevor is definitely right

about that inch of space between the top tube and crotch. . . When I was in about third grade I was riding my older brother's bike. I was used to a girl's bike, plus he was about two feet taller than me (still is, LOL!), so when I hopped off that seat I landed POW with all my weight on that bar, my feet still dangling about 6" off the ground. Thankfully I went immediately numb or I probably would've passed out. I couldn't walk, couldn't move, for several minutes. Wow. Definitely watch that fit!
 
Here's another suggestion

Here's another suggestion that really worked for my son. Take him to a grassy area that has a small slope. Have him start out from the top of the gentle hill. Gravity will give him momentum and he won't have to pedal constantly to stay balanced. When he reaches the bottom, pedalling will keep him going upright. And if he falls, he won't get hurt on the grass. A wise friend taught my son to bike this way and it took less than an hour. Good luck!
 
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