Help Ladies! How would handle a cheating boyfriend

Thanks for your support ladies! I have a date with someone else this Wed. As the saying goes get over the old with the new. LOL I can't even lie; I've had a few waiting in the wind as back up anyway!! You'll never know when you may need a spare. Isnt that how do it?
 
I think its interesting that your first thought is that he was cheating on you. If you've known this guy for 10 years, then there is something you know about him that lead you to believe he was cheating. Did you know him to cheat on his past women? Did he cheat on someone with you before you guys became a couple? There must have been something you knew about this guy to make you want to go buy his house and confirm your suspicions. Be honest with yourself so you dont make the same choice with the next guy. Just my .02....C
 
So did you ever get the chance to talk to him face to face or tell him it was over because of your suspicions? If so what was his reaction?

Jean
 
I believe you did the right thing. If you known a person for a long time, you know what is going on even without that person stating it directly to you. It's great that you have a few interested men in the wings waiting for the opportunity to date you.
Like Jean, did you ever confront this person? What was his response?
 
OK, be honest....were you actually hoping for an excuse to break up with him so you could test the waters somewhere else? I still don't know if just because he lied about being home , he was cheating. But if you're that eager to get out and "get over the old", then it's probably best you end it anyway.

Don't take that as any sort of criticism of you...because I'm a firm believer in ending something that's not right and moving on. I just know some women who want their freedom, but are dying for their husbands to have an affair so they'll have an excuse to end it without looking like the bad guy (so to speak).

Experience tells me that getting over the old with something new really isn't a good idea, if you've been hurt by the break-up, but it doesn't seem as though you are...so enjoy!
 
nspire said:
I can't even lie; I've had a few waiting in the wind as back up anyway!! You'll never know when you may need a spare. Isnt that how do it?
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Wow, isn't that cheating too to have a few waiting in the wind as back up? Or at least I wouldn't consider this an exclusive or serious relationship if you find it necessary to have back ups.

But maybe this is your way of coping with the situation and none of us has the right to judge any of this. Best of luck to you, I hope things turn out well for you and you find the happiness you deserve.
 
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I haven't read all the responses, but I just wanted you to know I was in the SAME EXACT situation a few years ago (except I had a friend drive by the house since I was out of town).

I broke up w/him immediately. It broke my heart and my self esteem, but I think I'd have felt worse about myself if I'd stuck w/him. :(
 
I'm really glad for this forum because it gives you a chance to get different perspectives and it challenges you to look at a situation from various angles. I really appreciate all the responses I got. I'm pretty sure all of us have been in this situation at one time or another.

I've come to see that I've played a small part in the turn our relationship/friendship has taken. I have been reluctant to committing to a relatlonship because I've been hurt in the past, so I've actually seen other people on the side, so I'm guilty too, but it's weird how you think if you don't get caught then it's okay and in your mind it's not really cheating.

I've known this guy for 10yrs, I met him during a business deal. He was interested in me, but I was coming out of a relationship so didn't give him the time of day, plus I wasn't physically attracted to him, but we were friends. He started dating someone else, so our contact with one another ended. I met up with him about 2yrs ago and he was out of his relationship and I grew to like the person he was because of the kindness he showed instead of his physical attributes, he's nice looking, but he's a bit chunky for my taste, however his niceness outweighed all that.

Anyway, we went out one night and have been together ever since. We never talked about our relationship/friendship; it was like everything was working out fine, so we never discussed boundaries or anything else. Kind of like it was understood we were a couple.

I take part of the blame, because I took our relationship for granted because I knew the hurt he's been through in the past. His wife cheated on him with the best man from his wedding, and a few other times, but don't have the time to get into it. He reminds me of the kind of guy I think women take advantage of; they take his kindness for a weakness and I've learned he not weak at all, just giving.

Since he and I talked, I've found out that he's been having suspicions about my actions as well, and to my surprise he was very specific to details which stand out in his mind, so he had been leary about our relationship/friendship as well. As far as that night he wasn't home I never got a direct answer, but it did give us a chance to finally talk about which direction this thing is going and have decided to end it as friends.

In the end, I've learned you can't have anything if you don't have trust.

Thanks ladies for helping me sort this out.
 
Thanks for posting what happened. I'm glad you werte able to talk it out and end things well. It sounds like you will both be better off. :)
 
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