Health vs. weight

nancy324

nancy324

Cathlete
I'm 5'3" and when I was a teenager I reached 160 lbs. at one point. In my twenties I hit 140 during several stressful periods. However, I've been somewhere between 110-118 now for more than 20 years. Yet, given a choice between something healthy and something low-fat or low-calorie, I will almost always choose the less healthy alternative. For example, if I were offered an organic salad containing olives and avocado, and a non-organic salad with less fat, I would choose the low-fat option. I am doing better over time, but I'm still surprised at how fearful I am of weight gain. I am very sensitive, and the kids at school were not kind to me when I was overweight. But, geez, when am I going to get over it and just be the healthy person I'd really like to be???

Does anyone else have this dilemma or is it just my generation? The younger women today seem more sensible to me. Seems I've been struggling with this for forever. :(
 
Nancy, I too battled overweight in my teens and early 20's, and also suffered ridicule not only from schoolmates but even more so from my family (both family of origin and extended family), which was kind of emotionally schizophrenic because I always got the most criticism (sometimes bordering on obsession) from family members who were themselves overweight. I developed a pretty galloping binge-purge behavior pattern during my teen years as but one means of coping. When I gradually slimmed down and brought exercise into the mix, my storage-fat content stabilized at a healthily low level for a long time. Since I've rounded the corner on 45, I've notice that the Jabba-The-Hutt gene that runs rampant in both sides of my family has kicked into gear again, and I do find myself paying increased attention to keeping that at bay.

Part of my concern about storage-fat gain, to be sure, is echoes from my earlier years, where self-hatred was reinforced by the constant, mindless criticism of my family. However, a very distinct other part of that concern is knowledge about the profound health risks of being overfat. I do not weigh myself at all, because scales do not measure body composition, and I've packed on a very happy amount of muscle in the past few years. But I do pay strict attention to fat gain (and I know which is which), because I believe the vast and increasing amount of research-driven evidence that demonstrates that overfat is a health risk.

I see in my own family how much overfat - moderate to profoundly obese - detracts from their health. I put up a thread a few months ago on the Ask Cathe forum titled "My Personal Debt of Gratitude to Cathe" in which I described seeing my mother and brother, now morbidly obese, struggling simply to walk, and also seeing my father, overfat all his adult life, limping around with bad feet, bad knees, and other orthopedic (not to mention heart) issues in large part attributable to overfat. And my sister has struggled to lose 60 pounds, and she herself acknowledges she has at least 40-50 more to go.

IMHO, younger generations are too blase' about the health risks of overfat, whereas our generation was and is too overfocused about the cosmetics of body size at the expense of the primary issue: health considerations. I know that, for me, I will always have to work at keeping my body fat content low, and I'm totally okay with that - because I know how (both nutritionally and kinesiologically), and I enjoy the work.

I'd be interested in others' opinions on this subject. Thanks for bringing it up!

A-Jock
 
I was not an overweight kid...although in high school I gained my junior and senior years...wore a size 11-12 which for me is too big.

But my whole adult life except for the drug parts of course, I maintained and have maintained the same body weight, give or take 5 pounds. I started working out consistently in my early thirties/late twenties and haven't looked back. I do not live in fear of being overweight, although I do have my moments for sure, what I struggle with is the new "body image" thing now days. Everyone is soooo skinny, I am not skinny, nor will I ever be skinny, the good lord did not make me that way. I wear a solid size 6 in pants, 4 in skirts, do not ask about the top of me since my chest is sooo big. But now days being a size 0 is the ideal, even a double size 0. Pictures of super skinny celebrities are everywhere, everywhere I look there are super skinnies. So I struggle with feeling "too muscular" or "too big" all the time, even though I should be proud of my shape and how I have managed to keep it over the years. I tend to compare myself with others, even people on this board and beat myself up all the time if I wake up and think I have gained a pound of fat anywhere.I start thinking about cutting calories, limiting this, limiting that, then I get mad because heck, I work out like a fiend and cannot enjoy a few treats now and then?

I mean "plus size" is a size 8 now? WTH? I would love to have a healthy body image, and some days I do, but most days? Well, you know the deal.
 
A-jock, I did see your debt of gratitude post to Cathe and thought it was wonderful. I totally understand your situation, and I relate to the emotions, but not all the facts. I come from a family of almost fanatically healthy eaters. My mother doesn't even allow processed foods in the house, and we never had fast food when we were growing up except for an occasional pizza. Every piece of produce in her house is organic, and she'll go to 12 stores to make sure of it. In addition, my parents were both naturally slim.

It's not that difficult for me to maintain a normal weight. I don't think I'm fighting the overweight gene you may have. I was raised knowing how to eat right. My weight gains were the result of very stressful, emotional times, and I know rationally that they are very unlikely to occur ever again. Yet, I regard tofu with utter horror. Not because I don't like it, but because it's so high in fat. I have to have a few glasses of wine to even consider eating tofu, pineapple, cheese, watermelon, hummus, guacamole. I continue to put calories and fat content before all else. I'm not so sure that it's a good idea to spend the rest of my life this way, basically in fear of food. I'm just not sure it makes sense anymore.
 
Hi again, Nance. Boy, just shows to go ya: the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence!

I do believe that childhood environmental influences totally shape one's adult perspective, and I can totally see where your focus on calories and fat content comes from. I also believe that people can go way too far in the opposite direction in The Great Food Choice Dilemma, driving themselves absolutely nuts about selecting the absolute "perfect" foods 24/7/365. In fact, I believe nutritionists have identified that as an eating disorder in its own right; I can't remember the name of it right now.

I think fear of food can be conquered, sometimes with professional help, sometimes with some well-chosen self-help tools like literature on the subject or in-person or online communities around the subject. You've always struck me as a fairly level-headed person; I would bet that with some very modest behavior-modification techniques (stopping looking at the nutritional content labels; allowing yourself a bit or two of the "sinful" foods that you actually like) you could shed much of that fear.

I'll confess: I love Cheez-Its, Old Dutch Cheese Doodles, potato chips, nuts, watermelon, guacamole, and PINEAPPLE RULES!!!!! Maybe I should move in with YOUR fam for while!

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A-Jock
 
Nancy, I feel the same way as you -- that I'm going through life worrying/obsessing about food and afraid to just enjoy it more. :) Although I've never been seriously overweight, my mom struggled with obesity her whole life, and I worry so much about my own weight spiraling out of control that I also fixate on the low-cal/low-fat options that are out there. I've been letting myself enjoy more "fattening" things lately, but then I tend to beat myself up afterwards about the "bad" food I just ate. I'm trying to do that less and less, but it's a hard habit to break.

My older and younger brothers have both put on weight in the last few years, and I think that it's made me even more compulsive about healthy eating and working out. Part of me just wishes I could give it all up and eat whatever the heck I want to, but then I know that I want to keep eating well and just be fit. As a step towards that, I stopped logging all my calories a month or so ago, and am trying to just focus on eating when I'm hungry and nourishing myself with healthy foods.

A-Jock, I think you have the perfect way to look at it: that we should be healthy and focus on our food as a means to that end.

Tneah is right that our society is too wrapped up with these ultra-skinny models who set a bad example for all women, both older women like ourselves and young girls.

Thanks for posting this, Nancy! I think it's so healthy for us to talk about these things together!:)
 
Hi all!

I'm afraid this post is going to sound more like the baring of the soul to journal than an answer to your post, but your comments struck a chord with me.

I was not an overweight child and didn't go through the teasing a ridiculing I know exists out there, so I cannot claim to understand what you went through, but I do sympathize. I am, however, experiencing a different type of prejudice that has been getting to me lately. I live in a moderately affluent town. The women here all seem to be in the Size 0 to 4 range. I am not now, nor do I believe I will ever be in that category.

I suffer from an auto-immune disease that saps my energy periodically. I have good phases and bad phases, but I try to work within my ability, wherever I happen to fall on the energy scale for a particular time period. When I was first diagnosed, I was so tired, I couldn't even stay awake the entire day. I would take frequent naps, didn't work out for about 6 months and lost weight. I was down to about a size 6. Thin? Yes. Healthy? Most assuredly not.

Right now, I am heavier than I'd like to be. Despite trying to watch what I eat and exercising consistently, I fluctuate between an 8 and a 12 (not exactly obese). You would think that I have leprosy by the way I'm treated by many of the moms I come in contact with. It takes all that I have not to scream or cry when I see the way they look me up and down before deciding whether they deem me worthy of a "hello."

My son is very involved in baseball, and I will sometimes spend hours a week sitting in the same stands as these women. If they even look up from their conversations about what designer made their bag or which Bikram Yoga studio keeps the temperature higher to speak to me, the most I get is a weak hi.

I'm just so fed up with the judgment. When they talk about what they eat or their exercise routines, I feel unqualified to join in, even though I probably work out as much as any of them. My results just aren't apparent in my size. Does that make me less worthy? Less knowledgable?

I love my town and have lived here for 23 years. My entire family is here--Mom and Dad, my brother and sister and their families. I'm just beginning to wonder if it's worth the hit to my self esteem.

I think it comes down to the fact that health is not valued as highly as appearance in our society. Many people do unhealthy things in the pursuit of a thinner body. I fall into that trap, too. I think it comes down to peer pressure. For some of us, the pain involved in being judged for a less-than-ideal body size is more of a motivating factor than the joy that good health would bring. Granted, I seem to be falling short in both areas.

I wish I had the answer. I do not.

Sorry this was so long. I've just been struggling with this issue lately and am feeling a bit lost.

lynda
 
>I think it comes down to the fact that health is not valued as
>highly as appearance in our society. Many people do unhealthy
>things in the pursuit of a thinner body. I fall into that
>trap, too. I think it comes down to peer pressure. For some
>of us, the pain involved in being judged for a less-than-ideal
>body size is more of a motivating factor than the joy that
>good health would bring.

Lynda, that was my point exactly.

Regarding the X-Ray Moms, are they all that way? I'll bet there are one or two snobs and the rest are just regular people who would be happy to get to know you. I have been known for having a lot of faith in people, but still. Who in their right mind would avoid someone because she wears a different dress size?? And if they would, who needs 'em???
 
>I'll confess: I love Cheez-Its, Old Dutch Cheese Doodles,
>potato chips, nuts, watermelon, guacamole, and PINEAPPLE
>RULES!!!!! Maybe I should move in with YOUR fam for while!
>
>}( }( }( }( }(
>
>A-Jock

I forgot about nuts. I LOVE nuts! Especially peanuts and peanut butter.
:9 :9

A-jock, I have no doubt you would fit in with my fam better than I do. They're hard-core exercise buffs like you are. Come to think of it, maybe we should trade families! :+
 
Okay I don't get it: watermelon??

Don't mean to barge in; I was at my heaviest 175lb and I'm 5'2" too. Argh I got down to 125 at one point but haven't been there in years. I blame school. And many many other emotional things that I'm currently in the middle of in my life so I'll just keep quiet. For now. ;)
 
For some
>>of us, the pain involved in being judged for a
>less-than-ideal
>>body size is more of a motivating factor than the joy that
>>good health would bring.
>
>Lynda, that was my point exactly.
>
>Regarding the X-Ray Moms, are they all that way? I'll bet
>there are one or two snobs and the rest are just regular
>people who would be happy to get to know you. I have been
>known for having a lot of faith in people, but still. Who in
>their right mind would avoid someone because she wears a
>different dress size?? And if they would, who needs 'em???

Really good points! Nancy, I hope you're feeling a bit better after reading all this! :)

Lynda, like Nancy said, maybe see if some of those women are actually kind. If not, then your life is better without "friends" like that!:)
 
>Okay I don't get it: watermelon??

Ame, I love watermelon, but I never buy it. I choose lower calorie melons like cantaloupe. :(
 
Okay so that's just confusing to me. I count carbohydrates for everything so that I know how much insulin to take for every single thing I put in my mouth. Since carbohydrates are one signal for calories, I would put all melons on the same scale since they have roughly the same amount of carbohydrate, and I don't weigh and measure my food anymore. But since I was curious, I checked it out.

Turns out, Calorie King says:
Fresh watermelon, cubed, 5.4 oz = 46 calories, 11.5g cho
Fresh cantaloupe, diced, 5.5 oz = 53 calories, 12.7g cho
and for kicks:
Fresh pineapple, diced, 5.5 oz = 74 calories, 19.6g cho

LET THEM EAT WATERMELON!!! :9 :9 :9
 
My motherdoesn't even allow processed foods in the house, and we never
had fast food when we were growing up except for an occasional
pizza. Every piece of produce in her house is organic, and
she'll go to 12 stores to make sure of it. In addition, my
parents were both naturally slim.

---------

Your mom is da bomb.
 
Watermelon... I love bananas and I'm always reading how you should pick a fruit with less fat and calories than bananas. But I don't compare fruit to fruit because when I eat a banana it's instead of a CHOCOLATE BAR! The way I see it, I STILL come out ahead. Eaters see eating differently. I once saw Roseanne tell a joke on Carson (yea, it was a long time ago). She said "Fat people give directions differently than skinny people..." I waited, wondering where she was going with this, then she said "Well, you go down two blocks and make a right at the McConald's, pass the Long John Silvers and the Dunkin' Donuts and, just before you get to the Arby's, turn left and..."

My point: If it's watermelon you REALLY want, at least you ain't slammin' down a Snicker's.
 
>Okay so that's just confusing to me. I count carbohydrates
>for everything so that I know how much insulin to take for
>every single thing I put in my mouth. Since carbohydrates are
>one signal for calories, I would put all melons on the same
>scale since they have roughly the same amount of carbohydrate,
>and I don't weigh and measure my food anymore. But since I
>was curious, I checked it out.
>
>Turns out, Calorie King says:
>Fresh watermelon, cubed, 5.4 oz = 46 calories, 11.5g cho
>Fresh cantaloupe, diced, 5.5 oz = 53 calories, 12.7g cho
>and for kicks:
>Fresh pineapple, diced, 5.5 oz = 74 calories, 19.6g cho
>
>LET THEM EAT WATERMELON!!! :9 :9 :9

Ame, I thought my nutritionist told me that watermelon was in a category on the Glycemic Index with bananas and raisins, but it sounds like I'm remembering wrong. Come to think of it, she was the reason I stopped eating those fruits. I think I'm going to eat lots of watermelon this summer! :9 :9
 
>Your mom is da bomb.

One that's gone off in my face too many times. ;)

Seriously though, her perfectionism is an illness. She retired from her job, which she loved, early so she could spend more time shopping for organic food. Going to 12 stores is very time-consuming, you know!
;)
 
Quick background: I'm 38 and have spent the last 22 years exercising & alternating between freaking out over what I eat and being totally at peace with myself. (I'm currently in "peace" mode, hoping it'll stick for good this time.)

The following quote (which was also mentioned by another poster in the "Quote" thread) is one that passes through my mind all the time, especially when I find myself being too self-critical.

It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Krishnamarti

The "super skinny, size 0, giant breasts with no hips, zero wrinkles, must stay young and thin as possible" mentality is anything but physically and emotionally healthy.

In addition, I had a breast biopsy scare that set me straight. My life is too precious and my time here is limited. I'll be damned if I'm going to waste that time worrying about conforming to whatever ridiculous fad society has cooked up. I'd rather eat well, sleep well, exercise, contribute positively to the world and have fun. :)
 
>The "super skinny, size 0, giant breasts with no hips, zero
>wrinkles, must stay young and thin as possible" mentality is
>anything but physically and emotionally healthy.
>
>In addition, I had a breast biopsy scare that set me straight.
> My life is too precious and my time here is limited. I'll be
>damned if I'm going to waste that time worrying about
>conforming to whatever ridiculous fad society has cooked up.
>I'd rather eat well, sleep well, exercise, contribute
>positively to the world and have fun. :)

Laughing, thanks so much for posting. You really sound like you've got your priorities straight.

I have this awful fantasy that my doctor is going to tell me I've got some kind of serious health condition and all my priorities will suddenly snap into place, but it will be too late. :( I can just imagine how inane my post must seem to Ame and others with health conditions who already have their priorities straight. Sometimes I remind myself of the Billy Crystal character on SNL whose philosophy was "It's better to look good than to feel good".
ETA: Maybe we should start a "Health First" check-in.
 
On the subject of childhood influences adult body image I am 26 and really struggle with my body image. I went bathing suite shopping with my friends and ended up walking out with nothing which they did not get because they all think I look fine. I think my childhood had a lot to do with it. My parents started picking on my weight in elementary school and did not really stop until after I moved out of the house (even though I did not really have a weight problem until high school). To deal with it and other family issues I developed a binge eating problem and actually became obese in college. After I moved out I was able to get myself together started working out with Cathe and lost a bunch of weight. However it is hard for me to look in the mirror and not get down on myself. I also still struggle not to binge eat.

I think a lot of people often pick the less healthy option because it has less calories, fat ect. There are a tone of non healthy products on the market today aimed at people who are trying to keep their weight under control. They often have a bunch of scary ingredients in them and no nutritional value. I am sometimes guilty of buying them but try not to because not only are they unhealthy are over packaged.
 
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