GD/My mum is going to marry 2nd time

Y

Yummy Mummy

Cathlete
First of all my Mum is 75 years old and certainly doesnt need me to tell her how to live her life ...........granted!.............but it DOES concern me.

My Dad passed away 10 years ago after a long illness and my Mum nursed him at home for 5 years before his cancer of the spine spread to his brain. I dont need to explain in detail that it was a HORRIBLE time for us all to watch Dad suffer sooooooo much for soooooo long

Now she's met this other man, five years younger, ALSO with health problems and my concern is that it will be a "repeat" performance down the same road eventually.

I understand completly that Mum has been lonely since Dad passed and us children and grandchildren live in different countries, so SHE should be able to have a "friend" or "companion" but I feel NOT TO MARRY!

I'm uncomfortable about this. Mum says its not my business and I'm not pushing her too far on the issue because I dont want to upset her or have a conflict between us...........

So lovely people?...................Should I just BUTT out?
How anyone experienced a similar situation?

Marion










You have to stay in shape. My Grandmother started walking when she was 60. Today she is 97 and we don't know where the hell she is! - Ellen DeGeneres
 
I'm not in a similar situation, but just wanted to say that it sounds like your mother is a wonderful caretaker, and while you may feel protective and not want her to be that way, or be hurt all over again if she loses another husband...it sounds like it will make her happy. It will probably make her feel needed again and she might really need that. The fact that they want to be married sounds like it's something that generation sticks to, you know, making an honest woman of her kind of thing.

My suggestion is to bite your tongue with her (and always feel free to vent to us!) and let her be happy. You have let her know how you feel, so don't let this get in the way and just support her.

Good luck.
 
Sorry, Marion....butt out. Unless her health, welfare or safety is at risk, you should support her in her attempt to live her life the way she wishes. She'd probably do the same for you.

My mom remarried last August. She's happier now than in the 31 years she was married to my dad before he left her. Not the same situation as yours, but the point is...your mom wants to get married. Let her.

(i was trying not to sound to harsh :))
 
For what it is worth, I probably would butt out also. She's your mom not your child and even though you could be right she has every right to do as she wishes. If this is what will make her happy then let her be happy. If you fall into the same circumstances as with your father(God bless all of you) then it is a choice that she is is making. I'm sure she realizes that it may happen but for whatever reson she wants to take the chance to do it again. Let her!!!!that is just my opinion on something that I really don't know much about. I know you love your mom and it's easier said then done. Karen
 
Hi Marion.

My grandmother died when my grandfather was in his mid to late 60's I guess. Incidentally, it's the only time I ever saw my grandfather cry....

He lived alone for a few years until one day he met a woman whom he became friends with. They started keeping company and even went on road trips/vacations together. They formed a very very strong bond and love for one another. Eventually my grandfather decided that he wanted to marry this woman. He cared for her deeply. He enjoyed her company and did not want to live out the rest of his life alone. He approached my mother with this idea as he seeked her approval on the matter, not permission. My mom couldn't say she did not approve cause she wanted him to be happy. He was such a wonderful man. He got remarried at the age of about 73 years old. My mom had the wedding in our home.

I guess what I'm saying is, if this is what is going to make your mom happy, let it happen....she sounds like a wonderful woman who is looking for something to fulfill her now that your dad is gone...I can certainly understand your reservations though....

Have a great work out!

~Wendy~

I smoked my last cigarette on March 17, 2004 at 10:00 pm!

http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?WENDYMIN

http://lilypie.com/days/050519/1/0/1/-5/.png[/img][/url]
 
I think it's beautiful to find love at any stage in life but you're her daughter and you should definitely and gently discuss your reservations and listen to what she has to say. Her lonliness may make it worth taking that chance. In the end, if it what she wants you give her your blessing and hope it's a wonderful relationship. I think it's sweet. It could be wonderful for both of them.
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Maturity is the ability to do a job whether or not you are supervised, to carry money without spending it, and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.

-Ann Landers
 
I understand your concerns and i think you are probably right, however, if you have voiced your concerns to her, then that is all you can do and you should not persist in raining on her parade. i'm soure she has her own reasons for wanting to be married again and she will have to just try it and see if it's right for her. don't fret too much!

jes:)
 
Marion stay out of it. I know it's your mom and you really care about her well being, but it is in both of your best interest to just leave it alone. If she was at risk with her health or safety, then I could understand if you wanted to get involved. She has already asked you to mind your own business, so respect her wishes as her daughter. Life is too short to argue! She is obviously very happy with this man, so let it be. If I were in your situation, I would stay out of it and be happy for her.

Your Hag,
Aila
 
Hi Marion,

First, I'm so sorry about what you went through with your dad. Second, I've never been in a similar situation. Although it might be difficult, the best thing to do is to learn to accept your mom's decision. Even if you can't imagine being in her shoes or understand where she is coming from, try to make peace with the idea. Maybe she views marriage in a different way or has differnet ideas about remarrying that have developed with age. Good luck to you!
 
Marion,

I understand why you feel uncomfortable but please try to accept your mother's decision. In time, you will get used to the idea.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top