feeling like a loser

S

shortsarah

Cathlete
I am sorry but I have to whine a little...someone kick my booty!
I just look at all these women who have lost weight and tell myself it can be done but when it comes down to it I don't believe in myself or in being thin. It is amazing the struggle I go through each and every day just to work out. I have not even started watching my food intake. How will I ever be able to tackle both when just the one is over whelming. Anyway...I have seen lots of these blogs with before and after pictures and I know it can be done I am just struggling right now. I want to win but feel like such a loser! Thanks for listening
Sarah
 
Sarah-
You are NOT a loser under any circumstances!!!! It's totally difficult, especially if you set a huge task in front of yourself. I personally was able to lose weight not by setting a target weight, but rather a target frame of mind. I didn't want to be thin, I wanted to become healthier! I found that to be an easier thing to deal with, because you can't do something fun every day to get thin. But working out, and seeing yourself improve, does get to be fun as you get healthier!
You don't have to win every day, either. Just a few more days than losing! ;) You can do it.
Try not to beat yourself up. Tomorrow is another day, and another chance for you to make a teeny change that helps you reach your goal!!
We're all here for you and we wish you the best.
 
Sarah,

I know what you are going through. My advice to you is to keep going! It was only recently that I became a regular exerciser myself and starting out was really hard for me too. During the first 2 weeks, I could not understand how exercise could give people more energy because I felt really tired and drained. But I was amazed at how quickly that changed. Now I feel tired and drained when I miss a workout! I promise you, it gets easier as you get stronger. As long as you are committed to regular exercise, you will greatly improve your endurance. It just takes a little while to push through the initial hump.

Initially I didn't worry so much about making a huge change in my diet. My goal was to make sure that I would be active 6 days a week. During the first month I could only stick to about 4-5 days of moderate to heavy exercise and then just walk on the 6th day. I still do that sometimes if I am too exhausted either from working out too hard or because I've been physically active some other way - I love to hike.

As I have become more experienced as an exerciser, I have noticed that my body wants actually craves healthier foods. I can't imagine tackling a Cathe workout if I eat the way I used to. Regular exercise has trained my body to desire the right fuel so it can keep going through Cathe's tough workouts. This process of exercising consistenly and eating prudently comes with time. . . .but it absolutely does ;-) Little changes go a long way. I think you should focus on exercising as consistently as possible and start out by making small changes to your diet that are easy for you to maintain without feeling overwhelmed. In time, you'll be doing it effortlessly.

Hang in there and set a small personal goal each day and make sure you do everything you can to achieve it. Not only will this make you feel accomplished, it will give you great confidence to keep working towards your bigger goals!

And remember. . . you are not alone :)

Good luck!

Faiza-
 
Sarah,

You are not a loser!! Don't let this overwhelm you by looking at the big picture. Take it one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. Tell yourself you are going to eat a healthy breakfast, then snack, then lunch, snack, dinner, etc. one meal at a time. Take one day at a time at exercise. Tell yourself you will exercise for one hour today, don't look at tomorrow or next week. Break this down into manageable pieces. You will get there, I promise. It does take self-discipline but break it down into small manageable goals will make it much easier for you.

You will make it, I know you will.
 
Start with small, manageable goals, like, I will do cardio for 30 minutes three times this week, or I will not eat any sweets after 4 PM, then up the ante periodically so that you are always improving. It is easy to get overwhelmed with anything if you are looking at it in its entirety rather than in small pieces that can be more easily managed.

And you are not a loser; we live in a society that claims to promote a healthy lifestyle yet in practice does the opposite. A McDonald's on every corner! Krispy Kreme in every kitchen! It's just sabotage.

One trick I have learned with eating is to start thinking about food as fuel for my body rather than as a pleasure experience. And I also started paying attention to the connection between how lousy I felt and what I was putting into my mouth. (Just track those sugar crashes.) I still like to eat some stuff that's bad for me, but I have trained myself to keep it to a minimum. I just like a taste and that's generally enough. Took a while to get there, though.

Good luck and hang in there!!

Marie
 
I agree with what has already been posted, but want to chime in. YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!!! Everyone has the same struggles you do. Take small steps and don't beat yourself up if you miss one or two of those steps. It's the big picture that counts.
 
Sarah, you are not a loser! I couldn't disagree with you more!

Like Marie said, start off with small goals. 1 -2 pounds 10 more minutes for your exercise. Once you can complete small goals you will get stronger will to go on.

I have confidence that you will continue along with all of us.
 
Sarah...you are NOT a loser!!! I agree with all the other Ladies...set small goals for yourself.!! And don't compare yourself to anyone else, okay? I imagine it's hard when you are trying to get going and think about other people's exercise routines or 10% body fat. You are you!!! Be happy and proud of yourself that have begun a new life for yourself. Others have worked a long time to reach their goals. None of this happens overnight. I think that's the hardest part to get.

Be nice to yourself!!! One little change at a time and before you know it, you'll get there!!!!!

P.S. Hope that was a "nice" booty kick...haha:)
 
Sarah,Everyone said what I would say ,so I will add ...Keep coming here .Its a great support system .You deserve to feel better ,you are a good person . Small steps = big strides . Good luck .Hugs to you too :) :) :)
 
Sarah-- first like everyone else said-- you are NOT a loser. don't ever say that again. If you say that to yourself enough, you will believe it. You need to say positive things to yourself, even if you don't believe them. If you say those positive things long enough, one day you will wake up and realize you do believe them.

Second, you kind of answered your own question. It is very hard to tackle both working out and eating at the same time-- so don't. I didn't. I don't recommend what I did, necessarily BUT I was working out for a year before I started watching my diet. Being able to eat whatever I wanted and not gain wait (not lose it either-- but no gaining), was motivation for me to work out the first year. It made me love to workout. Then, once that year passed, I wanted more. I wanted to do more in my workouts and I wanted results in my body. At that point, when I had the working out thing nailed, that's when I went back and hit the diet part to lose those last 60lbs. (I was 250lbs in 2000 if that makes you feel any more hopeful-- did tae bo and elliptical workouts on and off and then hunkered down on working out about a year and a half ago)... I couldn't have done it all at once, it wouldn't have worked. I lost alot of weight but just cutting calories and working out inconsistently, then I worked out seriously but ate like a pig and just held where I was-- then I was ready to put the two together and run with it... now here I am.

I hope this helps. Keep your head up! Feel free to email me if you want.

:)
Susan
 
Sarah, everyone has said just about everything I wanted to say. But wanted to Chime in, your not a loser, get back up again and keep trying. You'll get faith in yourself when you start seeing yourself be able to workout two or three times a week, and then add on another day. Don't shoot for 6 days a week when you first try to workout. That's really hard to jump into and stay with. And give yourself a choice, if you don't feel like working out at whatever time you workout, then clean vigorously, really get jogging around the house and speed clean. It’ll work your whole body, as there will be days you won’t feel like working out at first, that’s okay but do try to do something. Cleaning can be counted as a workout when you first start as long as you do it quick enough to get your heart rate up. Or just simply tell yourself your going to workout for 20 minutes and if you still don’t feel like it, you can stop. If after the 20 minutes you keep going that great, if not, start increasing that time, little by little. As 20 minutes is always better then no workout at all.

HTH,

Kit
 
Hi, Sarah!

You're only a loser if you give up, and you're not going to do that, right?

First off, there is no contest, so don't feel you have to compare yourself to others or compete with them.

Second, focusing just on the weight loss aspects of working out can be discouraging and self-defeating, because sometimes those results don't come as fast as you would ideally want. Be consistant in your exercise and healthy eating, enjoy your workouts and the strength gains and gains in being able to do more and more of a tough workout. And don't focus so much on bing "thin" but rather on being healthy and fit. By doing that, you will start reaching a good healhy weight for your body (which, by the way, may not be as "thin" as you want, but will be right for you).

Take each day at a time. For food intake, making small changes and subsitutions, a new change each week or so, can have profound effects in the long run: replacing sodas with water; replacing coffee with green tea; adding a big veggie salad to the beginning of lunch and dinner; avoiding fried foods and replacing that cooking method with baking/steaming/roasting, etc.

And remember, you ARE in it for the long run: you want your health and fitness to be a life-long committement, so turn your focus from "quick results" to "slow(er) and steady wins the race" !
 
Sarah,
You are NOT a loser!!! and so much wonderful advice has already been given!! You CAN do this...
One of the most wonderful things about Cathe, and everyone "here" is they always say.. If its too tough MODIFY, which I often do, espicaly with the cardio, as I have athsma, and bad knees, and can't always make it through a tough cardio work out.. How wonderful it is to know, that I, ME, can make it work for me!! How many times have I collapsed on the floor angry with myself that I can't make it through the entire work out, and think to myself who am I kidding, then I hear Cathe say.. "If you are not comfortable, modify" (ad-lib there but you all know what I mean) Its so much different than other weightloss/workout programs, that say.. "do or die"
I log on to this site every morning before my workout, just to get a little encouragement, and it works.
As far as "diet" we all know eating clean is key to successful weight loss, but we don't always do it.. and thats ok... you just say "oops" and keep at it. Diet is difficult, more so I think than exercise. Anyway... The Bottom line... YOU CAN!!! We all believe in you, so now its your turn to believe in yourself!!!
 
Another person chiming in here to say that you CAN do this! Getting started really is the toughest part.

I think that you are right on target with your thinking that you cannot do everything at once. You can't completely change your lifestyle overnight & it is easier to take one thing at a time. In other words, you cannot say "starting Monday I am going to do 5 workouts and eat 100% clean." That being said, you can make little changes to your diet and goals that are attainable adn in no time, you will be where you want to be!

Start tomorrow by upping your water intake and not eating any fast food. Take a 30 minute walk outside. You can do that, right?

Monday start your week by promising that you will continue w/your water intake & no fast food goal and to that, you will add packing your breakfast, lunch and a snack (not sure if you work outside the home) and not eat anything other than what you've brought. Try to make healthy choices but don't stress out too much about it yet. For exercise, do three 30 minute workouts....Mon., Wed., and Friday. Cook a nice healthy dinner. Keep it that way for a couple of weeks and you will find that you fall right into it and it becomes less of an effort.

Other things to add when you are ready for more:
Tighten up those portion sizes.
Make better food choices.
No eating after a certain time.
No deserts OR only ___deserts per week OR only sugar free treats
4 workouts per week...then later 5.
Longer workouts.
Add an outdoor activity day with family or friends.

I lost a lot of weight at one point and I know what you are going through. Nothing really got me going, per say, b/c I really just jumped off the couch one day and worked out to a video. Then I decided that exercsie was torture so if I was going to do it, why screw it up by eating college food!? It all fell into place and the more I did it, the easier it became.

Like others have said, you need not be perfect every day. Lots of people here have a "treat day." If you do, just be sure to get right back on the wagon the next day ;)

And most of all...come here to vent, get information, seek advice. Its a great place for food ideas, support, etc. and you will find that when you are bouncing ideas around here, you feel more connected to that goal of being a healthier you.

SO you aren't a loser in the sense that you were thinking but you can be a BIG (weight) loser if you impliment some of these changes adn other suggested by the other posters!!!!!!!!! (I know, I know...bad pun....)

Good Luck and Keep us posted,
Christine :)
 
Sarah, many -if not all- of us that have reached our goals, have been were you are now. I started exercising when my daughter stopped getting up early in the morning.

I found lots of motivation in Tom Venuto's website www.fitren.com. I first concentrated on exercise and put little attention to diet (just tried not to eat much after 6:00pm and other little changes, for example). I just wanted to set the habit of exercise. After I formed the habit of exercise, enough motivation came to start forming healthy eating habits, which is the hardest part.

I had a voracious appetite, but it was a cosequence of eating too much sugar and too much junk. One day I accompained my husband to an appointment for mesotherapy (which are injections for reducing localized fat. In Puerto Rico are "cheap"- about $70 the first one, and about $25-50 the subsequent ones). I didn't use the mesotherapy and I don't recommend it. I would use them only as the VERY LAST resource. But the doctor gave us a little talk about nutrition and she taught us what the glycemic index of a food is. If I wouldn't have learned about the glycemix index, I would have never overcome my appetite and would have never been able to lose weight.

I started eating only low glycemix foods or at least combining the high ones with very low ones, so the total meal was satisfying. I now don't eat ONLY low glycemix foods, but it did break the vicious cycle of eating sugar = craving sugar = eating sugar, at that time.

Also, I used some mental re-framing techniques:
For example: "This is enough. I don't need that much. The body only needs little quantities at a time." -Even when my body was telling me the opposite.

Then I bought Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle, from Tom Venuto, and the puzzle was complete! I recommend this book to everyone! The first chapter is devoted to teach you how to develop "unstoppable motivation"-his words. I have been unstoppable since then! Not only the first chapter motivates you, but in the other chapters he explains the WHY's you should do what. And the "why's" themselves are powerful motivators.

I agree with other poster that said that if you repeat something too many times it becomes true. Tell yourself positive and optimistic things. Always look at the bright side, because there is always one. And always concentrate on your strengths and forgive and forget about your weaknesses, as you would do with someone you love to death!

Sorry it got that long!

Edited to add: I still pig out once in a while, but don't let that put me down. You can fall, but get up. Don't keep rolling if you fall.

Mariela
 
That fact that you even want to try makes you a winner! What percentage of the population couldn't give a rip? Probably more than half. Hang in there. ALL of us have to fight our own demons every day.
 
>ALL of us have to fight our
>own demons every day.

Oh, that is so TRUE. I haven't felt like working out for the last five days. I tell myself to do half of the work I plan for the day, and even then that doesn't sound good at all. So I push myself to do just the warm-up, and when I'm done with that, I tell myself to do one set and after that, another set, until I'm done with the body part. I keep doing this until I finish another body part, and ultimately, the entire workout. If it's cardio, I tell myself to do one segment, or just a measly 5 minutes, and I keep PUSHING for another segment or another 5 minutes until it's all DONE. Like Cathe always says, it's all MENTAL. If my flesh is weak, my mind has to kick its ass. Otherwise, all the work I've done in the last two years would go to waste.

Hang in there. Keep coming here. We all find our own paths eventually. Just don't lose heart. And don't call yourself a loser. The fact that you're THINKING of trying and getting to a goal says a lot about your determination. Sometimes that's all you need to start.

Pinky:)
 
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