Favorite Joke

E

eriniski

Cathlete
What's your favorite joke. Mine is stupid but I like it :)

Why did mickey break up with minnie. Because she was feeling goofy.

Whats yours?
 
Here's 2 of my fave clean jokes from when my kids were little :)

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the 'Shell' station...

What did the fish say when he swam into a brick wall?

Dam!

Take Care
Laurie
 
Elderly Mrs. Smith's doc passed away, so she found a new doctor. For her first visit the receptionist asked her to bring a list of all of her current medications.

As new doc examined the scripts, he noticed one for birth control pills. He advised Mrs. Smith that there were some meds that she really did NOT need, and one for example was the bc pills.

Mrs. Smith adamantly insisted that she needed these pills, as they help her sleep at night. "No ma'am" said doc. "I can absolutley guarantee that you do not need these pills, and there is no way they can help you sleep at night."

"Quite to the contrary" advised Mrs. Smith. "You see doctor, every morning I crush up one of those pills and put it into my 16-year old granddaughter's orange juice. and I can DEFINITELY sleep a lot better!"

Lorrie

www.picturetrail.com/lsass
 
My DH told me these last night

Hey, I almost got arrested today-

Why?

(Flex Biceps) Cuz, I'm packing guns...



Hey, I need some bandages

Why?

(Flex arms) For all these cuts...
 
Here's a cute one my DD told me a while ago!

Why did the bee get married?

because he found his honey!

she told it to me while we were at the pharmacy picking up a prescription and all the ladies behind the counter were so tickled:)
 
Here's a couple more:

Hey, did you get tickets?
To what?
(Flex) To the gun show mwah (kiss flexed bicep for extra effect :) )


Hey do you know a good vet?
Uh, why?
(Flex) Cause my pythons are sick
 
DS's favorite:

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.

My dear auntie's fave:

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
 
One of my favorites from my single days (I haven't told it since I've been married):

Why are men like parking spaces?

Because all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. :p
 
And speaking of pirates. I heard this on Leno right after Paul McCartney's ex-wife was granted her huge divorce settlement:

"Well, she's already got the treasure and the peg leg... Now all she needs is a patch and a parrot."

buh-dum.
 
>>Why are men like parking spaces?
>>
>>Because all the good ones are taken and the rest are
>>handicapped. :p
>
>Nancy--I love that one! And it's so true. x( :p
>
>Allison
>
>http://www.picturetrail.com/allisonj90

Yeah, that one hit home.
:+

My favorite from my childhood, b/c my mom told it & it was one of the rare times I saw her smile:

How do you top a car?




You tep on the brake, tupid!
 
<What did the Dead Head say when the acid wore off?>
I love the Dead...I must have taken the good stuff }(
 
These are more like one-liners...

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw."

If you fart in church, do you have to sit in your own pew?

:+ :+ :+
 
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