Family (another vent)

[gidget1978]

Does anyone else have family or inlaws that do everything together? Does it drive you insane? LOL

I am pretty close with my family but none of us live right next to each other so to do something together everyday is impossible,nor would we.
My SIL and her family just moved back to town (military) and I think they think they are just home on vaca b/c everything as to be a big deal.
My sister and her DH are also home so DH ask yesterday if I want to go out for a late dinner tonight.A nice relaxing evening. He then ask if he should invite his sister, her DH and a friend they have visiting. I told him lets keep it low key b/c I knew what was going to happen.
He ends up inviting his sister last night and they think its a good idea but then my SIL says to her husband, "we can't go out tomorrow night and leave your mother home" (his mom as been visiting for the last month) He says "why not" I think him and I are on the same page when it comes to crowds (all the time!) Then she says, " I will bring the girls" Who are 5 & 3. THEN she says to DH, "you know we can't go out for supper and not invite mom and dad" DH just shrugs...b/c we didn't intend on it being a big event, just a low key evening. The whole point was to not take any kids so DD was going to babysit DS after we put him to bed.
So instead of having just DH, my sister, and her DH...we now have 4 of us, 4 of them, my MIL (who takes her 83 yr old mother everywhere she goes that repeats herself) my FIL, the neighbours across the st whom they do everything with, a 5 yr,3yr ,12 yr and a 19 month old.
I don't know why everything as to be a big deal and why certain people feel like they have to invite everyone or someone gets offended.
I SERIOUSLY would not care if they went out for dinner and didn't invite us so maybe thats why I feel like they shouldn't care.
They just moved back and I don't think I am going to be able to handle these family gathers, there was also one Fri and last night...and again tonight?
I hate to be a B*tch but DS does not let me sit down to have a nice meal, if I have to take him, Im just not going and the way it looks , if all these people go, we are going to have to eat at dinner time and not 8ish.
DH says he is going to try to figure something out..."I'd say...good luck with that buddy!"

 

[celestialtimes]

Tee hee! OMG...your nice quiet evening turned into a dinner party...
Hope your hubby can come up with something good...That's one of the reasons I like having horses...They come in as handy excuses. They come up with mystery something all the time and we just can't go....terrible huh...smile.

If my adopted mom would stop being so over dramatic, then I wouldn't mind hanging out with them...but she has a tendancy to say things that are just plan rude or she wants to talk about my Brothers ex girlfriend...and talk about why my brother wont talk to her anymore...gee...Ex Girlfriend...kind of gives me a clue...can't tell her anything. She treats the ex better than all the kids...WTH!!!!

 

[horseshowmom]

We live far, far away from both our families and quite honestly enjoy the space!

However, my best friend's family is very over involved in eachother's lives and I don't know how she stands it. To make matters worse, there are siblings/parents sharing businesses, so they never get a break. And even though there are horses involved ( a 60 horse farm!) b/c they're in it together, no one can even use that excuse!
Her hubby has had it to the point he has stated he's not sure he would've gotten married if he'd realized *marry the girl, marry her family* was going to be taken so literally!

Good luck getting some clear boundaries set up, fast! If you don't, they can take over your life before you know it!

 

[chefkate]

Lori, I am right there with you! We live 10 min. away from BOTH of our families. My family isn't sooooo into togetherness like that but DH's fam IS. BIG TIME. I won't include details (Don't want to incriminate myself!)but it involves everybody else's really bratty whiny kids and my DDs just stand there like "what's WRONG that those kids won't behave?!. Most meals out with one of them mean MINIMUM of 13.... I feel your pain!

 

[berry99]

Lori, my and DH's parents live far away so we don't have this problem. However, one of my very good friends does have this problem. I swear every single weekend she is doing something with her DH's family. It's never-ending and always involves tons of farting around and frustration. Also, she calls these family events, extravaganzas. It just cracks me up.

Anyway, I am sorry that you have to deal with this. I don't have any advice or anything, but I hope that you and DH's family can reach a happy medium.

 

[FourAM]

Well both my family and DH family live close by but due to recent events I do not really have to worry about my family. ( so complicated) but I had to have dinner ladt night with my MIL and her husband and today with FIL. Now the weekend is over and tomorrow it will be back to work with no down time.
I love them all but My husband and I work together and we work very hard so the only time we get is the weekend. So when the weekend comes we try to have some space but it does not always work....I guess we are just so darned likable

Rachel

 

[celestialtimes]

I guess I should be GRATEFUL that I come from a very dysfunctional family and no one likes each other.

My real mom and I did have a Good evening together. Which was unexpected and unusual. My mom being an alcoholic, it makes anything after about noon very ify...but she was very personable and we had a GREAT Dinner.

All I can do is hope for more days like that...

 

[LuvExercise]

I guess I should be GRATEFUL that I come from a very dysfunctional family and no one likes each other.

LOL Sorry, but that was funny. Family can be such a pain, huh?

gidget, I think I'm like you. I like to keep things as quiet and drama-free as possible and I don't care if I'm invited or not. I also don't see why some people can't do anything unless they invite their family/neighbors/random strangers off the street. I know someone like this and let's just say I'm glad I didn't marry one like him. I don't know how my sister deals with that.

 

[ms71069]

My husband's family is very much into doing EVERYTHING together...drives me insane! But they are all very close, always have been, so I try to bite my tongue and go along for the ride.

My family, although, has its problems, so in some ways I'm glad that my kids at least have that sense of close-knit, stick-together-through-anything family life!