Eating disorder recovey HELp please

luvmylbb

Cathlete
If anyone here has had an eating disorder particularly bulimia , how did you get oover it? I have been battling this for about 20 years and seem to do fine for a little while but it just seemslike I am chemically addicted and "need" to do it once in a awhlie.Plus this sets off a horrible cycle of how I swear I will never do it again! I feel so incredible guilty about this and I have 3 kids 2 of them girls and I don't want them or my DH to find out about it. I keep thinking that I should try a CAthe rotation or Body for life. I am currently breastfeeding a baby, so I can't restrict too much, I am just in a blunder right now. Usually when I get back to my normal weight I don't have the feeling as much maybe because I don't restrict as much. Anyways, any adcive is appreciated and yes I have been to counseling, no help there either. Sorry so long!!!
 
From what you've described, you desperately need professional help. Yes, this means that your family will be made aware of it, but eating disorders thrive in secrecy, and if you have been battling this for 20 years you cannot do this on your own.

A Body For Life, or other image-based commercial exercise / nutrition hocus-pocus scheme, is the last thing you need. Eating disorders are exceptionally pernicious both in the mindsets that create them, and the behaviors that amplify the mindset causing the horrible cycle you wrote of.

Please do not hesitate on this any longer. Seek competent professional help, hopefully first getting a complete physical from your family care physician and then a referral to a licensed therapist.

Remember - it is quite possibly the toxic effects of bulimia that caused Terri Schiavo's heart to crash which in turn caused her brain to crash. I know quite well how strong a statement that it, but your life could be at stake.

A-Jock
Been There Too Early
 
I've gotta agree with A-Jock: If nothing elese, you owe it to your kids to: 1. make sure that you are as healthy as you can possibly be. 2. To set an example for them that people--even mom and dad--face problems in life. Some of the problems are very difficult to cope with, but as an adult you are setting an example of the apppropriate and responsible way to deal with problems--facing it and getting professional help where appropriate, not hiding the problem. 3. You owe it especially to your daughters to start teaching them that who you are and what you look like is not what counts in life. That despite pressure from the media, friends, and seemingly everyone and everything around them, your weight does not make you a good or a bad person. It's your responsiblity to teach them that--to give them the strength of character that they are going to need to withstand the pressures and challenges in life. Kids are smart--my feeling is that if you try to hide this from them, they will pick up on it anyhow and learn the wrong lesson. Better to have it out in the open and teach them that it's not a healthy way to deal with your problems and show them that you are working very hard to change it.

Hang in there--it's tough I know. But there are a lot of people out there, and many here on this forum, who have been through eating disorders of one form or another (myself included). We're always willing to listen.
 
Please, Please get help....for your sake and your family. My sister nearly died after battling bulima. She got counseling, to find out why she was doing it, it was not a weight thing, she has always been small. She was doing it because of her self esteem....she had none. She had to find out that she WAS Important....and that she was loved. She has permanent damage to her body because of all the years of binging, laxatives and self induced vomiting.

This is going to sound bad, but everytime you think of doing this to yourself, picture your children finding you passed out or worse in your head.......how would it make them feel? How would you feel if that was their last memory of you. Please get help, and I promise all of us on here will give you all the support we can. I am sure once your family knew, the would support you too. You dont have to be alone in this....You already know you have a problem, or else you would not have posted. Please let us know, and I will pray for you, that you can overcome this.

Sending lots of prayers and hugs.....

Joanna
 
It's great you are looking for help. Help is out there, but you may have to search for what works for you. If one counsellor doesn't work try another; counsellors are so different in their approach and personality.

A week ago I posted looking for help for a friend whose daughter is bulimic someone referred me to this website. There is a forum on there too. Perhaps someone who's been there knows of a good counsellor in your area. All the best.

Here's a hug. <<<hug>>>

Website: www.somethingfishy.org

Trish
 
Let me just lend my support with everyone else's here and tell you one more time that you need help specifically with eating disorder specialists. If you can't find the strength to do it for yourself, at least take the first step for your kids. I can't say I know how hard it is because I haven't been there personally but I am very close to someone who has. Also, your family loves you and they will rally to help you rather than abandon you. Isn't that what you'd do for them? Give them a chance. Even though no one may say anything, people generally pick up signals that something's not right. They will cheer all your efforts and be there to help you get on track when you backslide. You can't do it yourself. I also agree that this is not the time to be thinking about what exercise program you should do. You have higher priorities than that right now. I'm 100% behind you and will be thinking about you. Your kids need you to be healthy and strong.


--Lois

"Don't forget to breathe!"
 
Please check out the message boards at

www.somethingfishy.org. Go to the link that says "Eating Disorders Forums always open" for "People with an ED". Then look for the Bulimia boards. They are so helpful!

There are message boards for eating disorders and there is one specifically for Bulimia.

I also recovered and what helped was just really not wanting to do it anymore after 15 years! I decided once and for all I just really didn't want to hurt myself like that anymore. I also realized and discovered why I was doing this to myself. There were deeper issues, other than just trying to control my weight. My DH knew about it before we were married and he's the one who I talked to and helped me realize why I was doing it.

I stopped because I was just so sick of it and the vicious cycle. I was able to do it on my own without seeing a therapist, but maybe if I had gotten professional help, I would have stopped a lot sooner than I did. It did help talking about it with my DH and my mom though. I talked to them about my feelings and what I was doing and I guess you can say, once it stopped being a secret I was able to find out why and I was able to recover.
 

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