spyrosmom
Cathlete
Ohhhh!!!!! I am LIVID!!!!!!!!!
DS has 2 friends that live down the street. F who has been around maybe 2 years and J who moved in late last summer. F & J live next door to each other, we live a few houses down. They play together as a group, and alone in pairs. Never been any real problems, maybe the occasional young boy squabble, but nothing to write home about. DS and F are 9, J is 8.
Today, DH was outside gardening, and I was downstairs doing MMA KB, DS was down the street playing w/ F. I hear the door open and DS come in crying, I figured he fell off his bike, or fell down or some other boy thing. Boy, was I wrong!!!
Apparently, J dad went over to F's out and chewed out DS for not playing with his son, threatening to hurt DS and us if he ever ignored his son again. WTF??????? DS was sooo upset, and I don't blame him. DS plays with both equally.
I was about to go down there as growly mama bear and let him have it!! DH, however, is a bit more diplomatic than me, and he went down instead.
Apparently, last weekend, J came over and DS told him he didn't feel like coming out. (fine, we let him chose if he wants to or not, we don't force him to hang w/ his friend) and then like a half hour later F came over and DS went out to play, which J and his father saw. That very well may have happened, sometimes DS will be reading or playing a video game, and not want to go out, and then will go out later. So today, DS went to see if F could come out, walking past J's house in the process, which his dad saw and got all bent b/c DS is ignoring J and playing w/ F. He then went across the yard and chewed out my son, to the point of tears and crying for a half hour.
DH says Mr J apologized profusely and referenced the "incident" of last weekend. Says he has been very stressed lately and that just pushed his buttons. Says his mom is ill and has other issues as well. I think they may be having $$ issues b/c the house went back up for sale early this spring, but I don't know. He did say his behavior was inexcusable (ya think?) and apologized to DH about 5 times and told DH he will also apologize to me and DS.
I/we really don't KNOW Mr J, other than in passing hello's and how are you's and such. DS is not allowed (our rules) to play inside their house bc we don't know them that well, but he has never been asked to, either. The few times we've tt Mr J, he's been friendly, if not exactly warm. I know from hearing DS talk and from hearing myself he does yell (loudly and meanly) at his son to the point of tears over really trivial matters.
As of know the issue is "worked out", but it doesn't sit well with me. I'm afraid he will do something. What, I don't know. We told DS he is free to play with both J an F, and Mr J agreed they are cool to play together as well, and that he was out of line, but I dunno........
What really worries me is how Mr J treats J when no one is around. He's a very polite young man, but almost overly so. From the times I've seen his dad yell in public, I wonder what goes on behind closed doors.
When we had this problem as kids, we worked it out ourselves, no parents involved. At that age, best friends are apt to change on an hourly basis anyway, and as long as no one is being mean to each other, who cares who plays with who. Sometimes I was the left out one, and sometimes I was the leaver-outer. Same with DH's childhood. That's life. No parent involvement needed. Why is his dad so involved like that?
We were having such a nice day prior to this, too.
Nan
DS has 2 friends that live down the street. F who has been around maybe 2 years and J who moved in late last summer. F & J live next door to each other, we live a few houses down. They play together as a group, and alone in pairs. Never been any real problems, maybe the occasional young boy squabble, but nothing to write home about. DS and F are 9, J is 8.
Today, DH was outside gardening, and I was downstairs doing MMA KB, DS was down the street playing w/ F. I hear the door open and DS come in crying, I figured he fell off his bike, or fell down or some other boy thing. Boy, was I wrong!!!
Apparently, J dad went over to F's out and chewed out DS for not playing with his son, threatening to hurt DS and us if he ever ignored his son again. WTF??????? DS was sooo upset, and I don't blame him. DS plays with both equally.
I was about to go down there as growly mama bear and let him have it!! DH, however, is a bit more diplomatic than me, and he went down instead.
Apparently, last weekend, J came over and DS told him he didn't feel like coming out. (fine, we let him chose if he wants to or not, we don't force him to hang w/ his friend) and then like a half hour later F came over and DS went out to play, which J and his father saw. That very well may have happened, sometimes DS will be reading or playing a video game, and not want to go out, and then will go out later. So today, DS went to see if F could come out, walking past J's house in the process, which his dad saw and got all bent b/c DS is ignoring J and playing w/ F. He then went across the yard and chewed out my son, to the point of tears and crying for a half hour.
DH says Mr J apologized profusely and referenced the "incident" of last weekend. Says he has been very stressed lately and that just pushed his buttons. Says his mom is ill and has other issues as well. I think they may be having $$ issues b/c the house went back up for sale early this spring, but I don't know. He did say his behavior was inexcusable (ya think?) and apologized to DH about 5 times and told DH he will also apologize to me and DS.
I/we really don't KNOW Mr J, other than in passing hello's and how are you's and such. DS is not allowed (our rules) to play inside their house bc we don't know them that well, but he has never been asked to, either. The few times we've tt Mr J, he's been friendly, if not exactly warm. I know from hearing DS talk and from hearing myself he does yell (loudly and meanly) at his son to the point of tears over really trivial matters.
As of know the issue is "worked out", but it doesn't sit well with me. I'm afraid he will do something. What, I don't know. We told DS he is free to play with both J an F, and Mr J agreed they are cool to play together as well, and that he was out of line, but I dunno........
What really worries me is how Mr J treats J when no one is around. He's a very polite young man, but almost overly so. From the times I've seen his dad yell in public, I wonder what goes on behind closed doors.
When we had this problem as kids, we worked it out ourselves, no parents involved. At that age, best friends are apt to change on an hourly basis anyway, and as long as no one is being mean to each other, who cares who plays with who. Sometimes I was the left out one, and sometimes I was the leaver-outer. Same with DH's childhood. That's life. No parent involvement needed. Why is his dad so involved like that?
We were having such a nice day prior to this, too.
Nan
