dog fears my DH!

delfin

delfin

Cathlete
Our dog, who was a shelter rescue, is great with everybody.... except my DH! She is so fearful of him, and he has done nothing bad or aggressive. She slinks around to avoid him, and if she can't, she'll bark and sometimes growl. I don't reward her behavior by trying to comfort her, though it's very tempting. I've also tried to get my husband to sit quietly with me and offer her treats, which sometimes helps. Any advice from you dog lovers out there would be very helpful, thanks!
 
First of all, THANK YOU for adopting a dog from a shelter. That is wonderful that you want to give her a good home. :)

My guess is she was mistreated by someone in the past and something about your DH reminds her of the abuser. It could be his smell, his height, the hat he wears, the sound of his voice, etc. Dogs are weird like that and certain unsuspecting things can strike a nerve and dredge up bad memories. The best thing I would recommend, if it is feasible cost-wise, is to take her to a professional dog trainer and have the trainer work with your dog and your DH, together. It seems she needs to develop trust and comfort around him and I think this would be the best way to go about it. Good luck with her!!

Dianna

http://www.picturetrail.com/Luv2WorkHard
 
Sorry to hear you are going through this. I had a similar experience with a great dane rescue dog a couple of years ago. Don't want to scare you, but it took a couple of months for her to get used to my SO. She still growls and runs away if he wears a different hat or its dark and he startles her. Turns out she is like this with any man that comes into the house. Is the dog like this around other people too? She clearly was abused. It just takes time and patience by your DH and you, and given the poor dogs past, it is a wonderful moment when they finally come around. As Dianna said, a personal trainer might be a way to go as well or more socializing. Good luck!

Sue
 
I agree it is something from the dog's past.

I have a parrot who was born in South America and went through quarantine before he got here.

My next door neighbor was wonderful with parrots and rescued on herself that she totally turned around.

My Buckwheat never would go near her though she could go to any other parrot and bond immediately. We figured there had to have been someone in his past that had her characteristics that had abused him.

Hopefully either training or time will heal your dogs insecurities. Best of luck.
 
Hopefully, your dog will eventually come to trust DH. Try finding something the dog likes, whether it is being brushed, playing fetch or whatever. Have your DH do this activity each day with the dog for a few minutes. Have DH avoid actvities that cause the dog anxiety, such as bathing, going to the vet etc. In time, the dog will hopefully start to accept DH and not be afraid of him.

Jean
 
Does your dog like other men? Maybe she was mistreated by men? My brother had a rescued racing dog and for the longest time she only liked him and would shake and whine anytime another guy came near her. We've had our own dog since he was about 6 wks old (he's 7 yrs nowand while he's attached to me at the hip, he only seems to tolerate my husb for walking him and games of fetch ball. Other than that he ignores him. But he doesnt really like other men, especially my husb brothers, he will bark and growl and nip at them. And to my knowledge no one has ever been mean to him. So maybe your dog just doesn't like men due to a bad experience or maybe just kind weird like my dog?
 
I agree it souhds like she was abused by a man (or one whom your husband reminds her of) in the past. Could be a particular thing about him (facial hair, voice, etc.) or just that he's a man (if she's like this with all men.

There was a rescued Great Dane at the shelter (the manager adopted her, so she was like shelter mascot) who would cower in fear whenever a man in a hat came in. No hat, no problem. (Her former owner was a man with a hat!).
 
Awh.. poor doggie must have been mistreated. I think it's important that DH be involved with the positive aspects of being a dog owner - feeding her, playing with her, rewarding and praising, offering her toys, taking her for walks, etc. Eventually she will get used to him. If he avoids the dog, like the dog avoids him, it will prolong the problem.
 
Well, from what I've learned having a nervous dog for the last 16 years (having no teeth makes a dog a little jittery :eek: ), the taller the man & the deeper his voice, the more scared she is.

Also, Barkbusters taught me that height equals dominance to dogs. That's why you'll see dogs trying to get to the highest point in the house (the more agile ones anyway). To them it means they're the alpha.

What I do when Cosmo is upset by someone is make sure they're either on the floor on the couch when she's first getting to know them. Maybe DH can spend a few minutes a day lying on the floor & trying to play with her or pay her some attention. Then gradually move it up to the couch, & hopefully she'll eventually just see him as part of her family.
 
Your dog may or may not have been abused. Like the above poster (spyrosmom) said, that might just be how she is, a little weird.
My dog hates most men and she has never been abused. I have know idea why she is this way. She just picks who she likes and I have no control over it.

My dog was scared of my son-in-law and one time I desperately needed someone to watch my dog. He was my only choice. He and only he, spent a week taking care on my dog. He slept at my house, fed and walked the dog, with no interverence from any other humans. And guess what? Carma now loves him. :)

So, for awhile, I agree with an above post. Give all the postitive chores to your husband (especially feeding and walks) and you can stick with the negatives.

Unless you think it might be dangerous for your husband. You might not have a good match for the dog and your family.
 
You need to build positive associations with DH and possibly other men. At first I would have DH far enough away that she is not reacting. Give her yummy treats just for hanging out. Be sure she isn't acting fearful. Over time, slowly move closer to him. Keep your body in between the dog and your DH. Again, open bar, feed feed feed. Don't have him interact wiht her at all. When you get a few feet from him, I might toss an occaional treat near his feet. Do not have him interact with her. When you can have her eat and not react right next to him, I'd have him toss her some treats. Then have him give her a treat, etc.

Go slow, I'd do very very very small steps with her.

Colleen
 
Speaking of treats. And just another option is it does not work well for her.

I was thinking about my dog and the treat thing. She didn't respond to treats at all (and she loves her treats). In fact, the more we tried to help a relationship with treats (even the most delish ham!) with someone she was nervous of, the more suspicous she got. The thing that worked the very, very best is to ignore her and she will come around on her own terms. The more she sees someone and the less we forced it, the better and faster she accepted them. Dogs are not stupid, they figure out what you are up too, very easy.
 
Sunnyside,

For the treat method to work, you have to be working under the dog's threshold. So far enough away from the scary person/thing so that the dog still takes treats. Then you slowly move in closer.

So it can be tricky. Also if the owner is giving treats when the dog is acting scared or fearful, then the owner is rewarding that behavior. So that's why it's crucial to be far enough away that the dog isn't showing any signs of stress.

Colleen
 
I'm definitely going to try the treat approach, since she's very food driven. We started her with agility, using treats as a training method, and she did great. When the entire family is eating (my DD feeds her after we eat) she is bold enough to hang around, looking for a handout.

Thanks so much for the advice everyone. I have bonded so much with this dog, it's amazing, and it's very upsetting that my DH can't share in that with me. Hopefully, he will soon.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top