Does eating clean cause you to be less social?

G

Gobias

Cathlete
Hi All,

I am (try to be) a super clean eater. I do this for many reasons - my body feels healthier and energized, I look healthier and I personally feel so much better. I stumbled across clean eating "accidentally" and have kept with it. Without boring you with too many details, when I was 17, I really started having stomach issues. I had ultrasounds, MRIs, scopes, barium drinks, endless tests done and nothing could ever be found. I was told I had chronic fatigue syndrome, Epstein Barr Syndrome, IBS, nerves, stress, hormones, it was in my head, etc. My stomach would bloat so much I would have to undo my pants (I am very thin so my stomach popped out like it was very pregnant), my lower back would just kill, I would be hunched over in the fetal position writhing in pain, I would always be within a few feet from a needed bathroom, I was miserable. The pattern didn't seem to have any rhyme or reason. I knew it was not in my head and I knew it was not nerves or stress, but no one would listen to me. I just lived with it and took the Prilosec, Prozac and Pepto Bismal I was given - none of it worked.

It wasn't until years later a doctor told me it could be my diet and that I should try to eat healthy. I honestly didn't know what that even meant and asked her. She said to eat pasta, rice, low-fat foods. Looking back, she never asked me what I was CURRENTLY eating, so she didn't even know if it was my diet. However, I read my magazines and this was during the low-fat craze and I ate all low-fat foods and pastas. Everything was processed and high in sugar and salt...but it was low fat. None of this made me feel any better and I would still get my stomach issues.

Fast forward to a few years ago when I accidentally stumbled on clean eating - all of my stomach issues went away, along with other problems. I started doing research and I truly believe I have food intolerances. I have done "tests" on myself and found that gluten causes my stomach/back problems causing me to lie in the fetal position next to a bathroom and gives me hives/bumps, sugar causes me to be so itchy that I scratch until I bleed, dairy causes my skin to break out like crazy and processed food (a combo of all of those) just cause me to feel totally blah. I have also found out I am an "all-or-nothing" person. I can't have a cheat day/cheat snack without the issue reoccurring.

So, on to my question - has eating clean caused any of you to become less social? When I am at home or by myself, it is very easy to control what I eat. When my man and I go out to eat, it is somewhat easy for me to control what I eat (even with the eyeroll of some waiters). However, when I am with family (who equate food with love), I get really tired of having to explain that I am ordering what I want to eat and that they don't have to partake in my choices. With my friends I constantly hear that I don't need to "eat that healthy stuff" because I am already skinny. I haven't really explained to many people that it isn't a "skinny" issue for me, it is an "I don't want to spend the entire night in the bathroom" issue. The few I have confided in still say something to the effect of "one bite won't kill you" or "My Aunt Joan is allergic to X, but she can eat this...here, try it". Why do I have to explain to anyone anyway what and why I eat what I do? I don't ask them to explain why they are putting processed chemicals into their already toxic body.

And at restaurants I never want to be "that person". I try to find something I know I can tolerate, but most of the time it just ends up being a salad without cheese, dressing or candied nuts...so lettuce and a tomato. I do scan the menu to see what other dishes have and discreetly ask the waiter if the chef can prepare X with Y with Z due to food intolerances. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. (the chef will get creative and add bacon, cheese or a creamy sauce).

I have adjusted my social life so that I eat prior to going out or I meet up with friends later. I will pack my own foods to places I know there will be snacking, etc. However, I still seem to have to explain to others why I am not eating with them, why I won't have a bite of what they are offering me, why I brought my own snack, etc. It is getting old and it is getting really annoying. So much so I want to avoid social situations.

This past week I attended a professional golf game and packed my own snacks. I wasn't allowed to take the snacks inside so ended up picking and choosing from the catered foods what I thought would be OK. It wasn't and I was sick the rest of the day, that night and the next day. I then attended the Superbowl on Sunday and knew ahead of time I would be there from about 9am until midnight and the stadium food probably wasn't clean so I had my doctor write a note I needed to take my own food into the stadium (which caused a concern to the security people!) That helped, but the people I went with kept telling me I was nuts because we had unlimited food/drink. Later, one of the other guests kindly bought each of us a large popcorn and a large Coke. I felt bad since I didn't eat/drink it and it was expensive.

I have just been finding myself in a lot of social situations lately (acquaintances, work, friends, family) where I am fed up with being critiqued about what I order. Back when I ate whatever I wanted, I never critiqued others - it isn't my business and I never really noticed. And what are others worried about - that I will be consuming too much Vitamin C? Just curious if others go through this and if you have any tips.

(ended up being a much longer post than intended!)
 
I highly empathize with you. :( I am from a family of medical doctors so luckily I don't get pestered by my own family members. That said, I do get criticized, made fun of, back-stabbed, you name it on social occasions. I find in my case, most gals force their opinions on me while my male friends never do except for a few jokes here and there.

I am learning to tune out these snide remarks. I wrote up a thread not long ago here on this Forum, asking if anyone feels lonely in their nutrition and fitness journey. I have overwhelming responses. You are NOT alone. I don't suffer from orthorexia. I have never had a sweet tooth growing up, so you may find it hard to believe I don't crave for any sort of cakes, or cookies - basically anything laden with added sugar.

I work in a professional service firm. Most ladies in my firm, despite their advanced education, always find ways to jest me during office parties. "Oh, you need to put on some good solid fat on your bones." "Why don't you get a cookie? It's not gonna kill you." "Are you so scared of getting fat?" "You are skinny. It's not gonna hurt you." I heard it all. The funny thing is I also heard through the grape vine that these same ladies trying different kinds of diets so as to slim down.

I don't force my view on anyone. I just wish people would show a little more courtesy and respect on my life choices. I want to live a full life. These days I just focus more on me. I love being a contrarian, as long as I know in my heart, I am doing the best for my body and for my future. I hope this helps. :D
 
I don't want to psychoanalyze folks but... I think sometimes when we make healthy choices for ourselves (diet, exercise, etc.), others who don't make such healthy choices feel that we're judging them, or the world is judging them, or they feel guilty and want to justify their own choices (which aren't inherently wrong) to themselves.
Perhaps they would like to be healthy, or their doctors tell them they should clean up their diet, or they want to lose 10 (or 50 or 100) lbs, or tone up, or whatever. But perhaps, unconsciously to them, your health and fitness is the ideal that they fail to attain, and that's uncomfortable for them, so they need to make your health and fitness into a negative. That way, they feel like they're just avoiding your negative ('obsessive' healthiness, sweat, hard work, having no fun, etc.).
Doesn't make it any more comfortable for any involved parties, but there it is.
 
I once had a friend come up to me, chocolate bar in hand (a mars bar, iirc) and ate it in my face, saying 'yum, it's lovely, I bet you wish you could have one'!!!!
errr, no. If I wanted one, I'd have it!
Ps, she's about 40lb overweight, and forever at the doctors / ill.

And whilst I'm ranting....women who tell me that men prefer women 'cuddly', and that I should fill out... I just want to say that it's certainly not ALL men ;-)
 
MomInVT said:
I don't want to psychoanalyze folks but... I think sometimes when we make healthy choices for ourselves (diet, exercise, etc.), others who don't make such healthy choices feel that we're judging them, or the world is judging them, or they feel guilty and want to justify their own choices (which aren't inherently wrong) to themselves.
Perhaps they would like to be healthy, or their doctors tell them they should clean up their diet, or they want to lose 10 (or 50 or 100) lbs, or tone up, or whatever. But perhaps, unconsciously to them, your health and fitness is the ideal that they fail to attain, and that's uncomfortable for them, so they need to make your health and fitness into a negative. That way, they feel like they're just avoiding your negative ('obsessive' healthiness, sweat, hard work, having no fun, etc.).
Doesn't make it any more comfortable for any involved parties, but there it is.
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Hello,

MomInVT you have taken the words out of my mouth....:):)
I include relevant method of training and correct choice of cardio relevant to the goal in those healthy choices.
This quest of justifying their own choices can cause so much irritation. I am not in it with them!:eek::eek:
 
Hmmmm, I'm sensing a theme here on the forum ;)! I can relate to ALL of this! I stopped eating out in restaurants about 20 years ago due to some unknown food (or more than likely, preservatives) intolerance that would hit 10 minutes into the meal and confine me to the restaurant bathroom for at least an hour :(. I was told it was psychosomatic and that I just didn't like the people I was with! Every special event seemed to revolve around eating out and therefore would be ruined for me...the GI issues would continue for hours. I started to eliminate certain foods I would normally eat at a restaurant (still no relief) and finally gave up all together and would drink herb tea while everyone ate. I also get this reaction from deli foods. A friend of mine confided that a lot of people get sick after eating out and think it is normal. She had worked in a 5 star restaurant and filled me in on some common practices that are revolting. No wonder folks get sick! Finally a wonderful doctor told me that it was probably better to just eat what I make and be happy. So I do...and I am! I have managed to broaden my horizons a bit and discovered "Farm to Fork" places that are organic, non-GMO, preservative free, free range, grass-fed, etc.... and I only visit those while on vacation and only about 3 times per year (we get kitchenettes when we travel and eat home prepared trail food while hiking).
For some reason, this really infuriates people. I don't know why. I'm not preventing them from doing anything they want and I'm not preaching or judging. I'm just trying to live the best life I can!
 
Hi, all. Goabias, my SIL once said to me...keep eating what you like and you'll find others who like it, too. I was vegetarian at the time and cooking out of the Moosewood cookbook back when I first got married. These days I'm more of a no processed, eat natural as much as possible eater. People at work don't say too much. They are all on their phones at lunch anyway! They see how I eat and are used to it. As far as going out...I don't do it much. For one thing I don't even like the food anymore...what I make tastes better to me. When I am out with other people I eat what I want and if they don't like it, too bad. We can agree to disagree about our food choices. You are an adult...you can do whatever you want! You don't even have to explain yourself. If they don't like it or give you a hard time....move on.

Beth
 
Wow, I'm shocked how rude some people can be. I do find I am less social because I worry about what's in the food when I eat out but also have a gluten sensitivity. I have found people are more tolerant of food allergies as opposed to "clean eating" as the reason to not be a joiner or for requesting certain preparations in a restaurant. I think I'm very lucky where I work and everyone knows how OCD I am about food so they've just accepted it and, interestingly, I'm frequently asked nutrition and fitness questions for some who are trying to lose weight. I've even lent DVD's to several people in the office so they understand how hard i work out as well. When potlucks come around, several will go out of their way to bring something gluten free and healthy which is really appreciated. Oddly it's the doctors i work with who comment about my eating habits. But seriously Justine, I can't believe someone eats a chocolate bar infront of you and thinks you're dying to eat one too!! A protein bar perhaps but not a mars bar LOL! My idea of a treat is greek yogurt with berries and one of those low calorie chocolate mousse cups mixed in....
I actually went out for a work related dinner last night for the 1st time in many years - it was paid for by the drug company. I did not partake in the appetizers as it was fat and carb loaded, but no one really said anything - at least not to my face! But i felt like there was an eating frenzy going on and was actually cringing at one point as so many attendees were stuffing themselves at a rapid pace as though they wouldn't be eating again for days! It didn't help that dry ribs were served and they were eating with their hands! Good grief, at least they used cutlery for the main meal and no plate licking went on....That'll do me for another 10 years and maybe I'll be ready to venture out again...
 
I just wanted to share a lighter, somewhat off-color, remark I made to someone who nagged me about my daily salads at lunch. She got up very close to me and said, "Oh, aren't you all healthy. Is that all you eat?"

(Now for the off-color remark.) I called her in close enough to whisper in her ear: "Honey, I LIKE vegetables. A lot," and I winked at her.
Never bothered me again ... nor did anyone else for that matter. It had to be my crowning moment!
 
I am the OP and sigh, unfortunately I don't seem to be the only one who goes through this. Thanks everyone for posting. I also get snide remarks for exercising (I'm already skinny) and just being overall healthy (I am too young to be thinking about that.) (!)

I didn't get into this, but my family is made up of medical doctors and medical personnel - and they don't even get it! In fact I probably get the most eyerolls and snide remarks from them (but it is masked as "we are worried about you".) I ask worried about what? That I am eating actual food, that I am not gaining weight, I don't have any ailments that they all have (Diabetes, high BP, edema, ruddy skin, sick in bathroom, etc.) unless I do eat non-foods.

I think some of you have hit on it while saying maybe I am just reminding them that they SHOULD be more aware of what they put in their body and don't like that reminder. However, there are others who honestly think they are eating healthy and try to feed me (like Justine's Mars story - LOL). A co-worker kindly brings in foods and shares and constantly tells me that what she brought in is healthy (cream-based quiche with mounds of cheese and a buttery/flour crust - she gave me the recipe) and a bag of veggie chips (read the ingredients - no real food is found). I have to travel - a lot - and we will stop at Chipotle because everyone thinks that the HUGE burrito with a flour tortilla with veggies and pork fried in oil with salt and loaded with cheese and sour cream is healthy. When I pull out my trusty packed lunch, they roll their eyes and say the burrito is healthy. I don't roll my eyes when we pull into the parking lot.

"healthy" or "non-healthy" aside - I eat what I like. As another poster stated, I actually look forward and prefer my real food as opposed to processed. No one blinks when someone orders the fried mozzarella sticks over the fried wontons, so why blink when I eat the vegetables over the chimichanga? What do they care? I am not holding a brussel sprout up in their face trying to get them to bite it.

Another poster said she gets more remarks from girls - I agree, which is odd to me. Girls are the ones telling me I don't need to eat healthy whereas the boys are the ones telling me they can't believe I eat as much as I do. Which, is also bothersome - again, why is someone watching what I consume?

I will continue to eat what I want, but it is just getting tiresome seeing people critique me. Taking my own food to the Superbowl was really commented on and I just couldn't figure out why. If anything, people know the only "foods" there are corndogs, burgers, popcorn, candy, etc. I must say that as they all gorged themselves and were loosening their belts, telling me how they were going to pay for it tomorrow or have to do a double workout, I was feeling perfectly fine and perfectly satiated.

NANBO - full us in on some of the restaurant practices. I saw a TV show once of the Top 10 things you don't know about your restaurant food and it was fascinating. And deceiving.
 
Gobias said:
I think some of you have hit on it while saying maybe I am just reminding them that they SHOULD be more aware of what they put in their body and don't like that reminder. However, there are others who honestly think they are eating healthy and try to feed me (like Justine's Mars story - LOL). A co-worker kindly brings in foods and shares and constantly tells me that what she brought in is healthy (cream-based quiche with mounds of cheese and a buttery/flour crust - she gave me the recipe) and a bag of veggie chips (read the ingredients - no real food is found). I have to travel - a lot - and we will stop at Chipotle because everyone thinks that the HUGE burrito with a flour tortilla with veggies and pork fried in oil with salt and loaded with cheese and sour cream is healthy. When I pull out my trusty packed lunch, they roll their eyes and say the burrito is healthy. I don't roll my eyes when we pull into the parking lot.

"healthy" or "non-healthy" aside - I eat what I like. As another poster stated, I actually look forward and prefer my real food as opposed to processed. No one blinks when someone orders the fried mozzarella sticks over the fried wontons, so why blink when I eat the vegetables over the chimichanga? What do they care? I am not holding a brussel sprout up in their face trying to get them to bite it.

Another poster said she gets more remarks from girls - I agree, which is odd to me. Girls are the ones telling me I don't need to eat healthy whereas the boys are the ones telling me they can't believe I eat as much as I do. Which, is also bothersome - again, why is someone watching what I consume?

I will continue to eat what I want, but it is just getting tiresome seeing people critique me. Taking my own food to the Superbowl was really commented on and I just couldn't figure out why. If anything, people know the only "foods" there are corndogs, burgers, popcorn, candy, etc. I must say that as they all gorged themselves and were loosening their belts, telling me how they were going to pay for it tomorrow or have to do a double workout, I was feeling perfectly fine and perfectly satiated.

NANBO - full us in on some of the restaurant practices. I saw a TV show once of the Top 10 things you don't know about your restaurant food and it was fascinating. And deceiving.
Click to expand...

Lol I am truly loving this thread. Fun reading posts:D:D:D
 
I feel for those of you who have food allergies and sensitivities to the point that it affects where and how you eat. That can't be easy. It also can't be easy to have to tolerate rude and insensitive comments from friends, family and co-workers. I don't have any allergies that prevent me from eating certain foods, so it's pretty easy to eat in a restaurant and be able to eat what I want.

I guess what we all have to realize is that you can't change other people. They are going to continue to behave the way they want to. The only thing you can change is how you let them affect you. I know it's easier said than done. Another thought is maybe your reaction is what is fueling them? I don't know these people so I'm just grasping at ideas, but maybe they enjoy making you uncomfortable? Once they see that you just don't care what they say or think, maybe it will get better.

Hugs to all of you dealing with this.
 
Nanbo said:
She had worked in a 5 star restaurant and filled me in on some common practices that are revolting.
Click to expand...

Nancy, I know! I haven't talked to any restaurant employees personally, but have seen a good number of TV/Internet behind the scenes looks and undercover investigations about what really goes on at restaurants. Obviously I understand that these things can be sensationalized for ratings, but let's just say that it seems like "clean eating" can be difficult to accomplish when eating out on a number of levels! Yuck!

BUT I want to be clear that I know this does not happen at every restaurant or with every employee--don't want to throw the quality, careful chefs and restaurant workers under the bus. I just make sure to vet out a restaurant as much as possible before eating there, and then to be selective in my ordering to accommodate my personal dietary preferences! :) But yes, this can inhibit social opportunities because I won't just go to any old restaurant or chain. Fortunately my good friends love me and typically trust my taste buds enough to go along with my suggestions.

Lisa
 
Gobias - you seriously do NOT want to know what goes on in the kitchen of a restaurant. You will never step foot in a restaurant again. But, then again, that could be a good thing, a very good thing. One of my daughters worked in a restaurant when she was in college. To this day, she will not eat in a restaurant. Doesn't care if it's five star, won't do it.
 
wow; now I'm glad I don't eat in restaurants often! I don't know what goes on but you've just confirmed some *stories* I've heard.
Quite honestly I had to learn not to get defensive about others' eye rolls about my clean eating and exercise habits.
Sadly they think it's all in vain but it's not. When I get the chance -- if they say it to my face - I agree, just mentioning that you enjoy healthful, nutritious food that makes you feel good and that you like feeling fit and strong seems to calm their obvious disapproval!
 
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