Does anyone know of anyone who gave up a son for adoption?

[cookiebaby]

I know this very personal and a strange post on this site but my husband and I are searching for his birth family with no luck. I'm not sure where else to turn, we've tried registries, agencies, etc. and are having a difficult time. I am desperate and at my wits end. He was born in Maine on 6/23/75. That's all the information we have. His adopted parents refuse to talk about it. If anyone knows anything or can me advice, it would be great. Thanks, Cookiebaby

 

[juli]

My parents worked as foster parents in New England for boys that for some reason needed to be place in foster care for a while. At the time the boys had to be from a New England state. They we're foster parents from 1966-1976. If you want more info where my parents worked please send me a pm. I don't want to say to much about my parents work place on a public board.

 

[lesliemarie]

Good luck in your search, my heart and my prayers are with you as you search. I do not know of any sites to go look, I gave up a son 17 years ago and I hope someday that he will find me so I can see all went well in his life.
I do know that before the 1980's adoption cases were closed and hard to get into those files. after I think 1987 they made it to where kids can go and look into those files now and find their birth parents.
Again good luck. and best wishes for you and your husband.

 

[rita]

My DH was adopted. He found his birth parents after much prayer. He wanted peace with his birth parents if and when he found them. He just had to try and find out who they were and what happened during the time surrounding his conception and birth. He didn't want to open up a can of worms, he wasn't looking for anything from them, and he would disappear if they didn't want contact with him. He also wanted their health situations in case he may need that information later on in life.

He started looking in the town where he was born, which was a small town. No official office would help. His original case worker was still on the job after 30 years, remembered him and his adopted parents, but, stayed true to her pledge of not giving out information. But, she said she'd be praying for our search.

He did his own research, asked a lot of people a lot of questions in order to narrow the search down. God found favor with us and lead us to people who were willing to help. It took him about six months to find his birth mom. And, two months later, we found his natural father and grandmother. We're all a big family now. We thank God everyday for allowing this to happen.

Don't give up looking. DH's birth mother, father and grandmother and their family were so happy we found them. Yes, they had to work out some ill feelings, but, it's been worth it all.

 

[TarHeelMom]

Cookiebaby, I can't add anything to help you as I have no experience in this field, but may I ask another question? I'm a little confused by your post. What's your relationship to this young man? (Sounds like you're not the adoptive parents or the birth parents.) I'm asking because my first kneejerk instinctive reaction, being a lawyer, is that you and your husband do not have the legal right to make any inquiries on his behalf, despite your wonderful intentions. He's certainly old enough to initiate the opening of records himself. Are you and your DH just being guardian angels/advisors for him? Any chance you two might have luck intervening with his adoptive parents (my vote for best source of a place to start)? I imagine that they might be fearful of losing their place in his life and heart if he finds his birth family; perhaps he needs to reassure them about that.

Wish I could be of some help here. My heart goes out to all of our members who've experienced this quest as an adopted child, adoptive parent or birth parent.

http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/sport/sport-smiley-003.gif Kathy S. http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/spezial/spudniks/spudniklifter.gif

 

[DawnA]

My best friend has adopted 4 children, and she knows that one day they'll want more information. I don't understand why your inlaws won't give your DH any info they may have.

I understand your DH's interest in his birth family, I think it's natural. Aren't there some online search services that are pretty reputable?

Good luck to you both.

 

[jdifischer]

You asked some very good questions Kathy that I was thinking about. My DH is adopted. He is 43. I think another thing we need to remember is that there are many birth parents who do not want to be found. The State of Michigan has some pretty strict rules and both parties have to want to access the file for it to open. I think that is only fair. I know a girl once who's father was adopted and he had no intention of looking for his birth parents. She forged ahead and found his mother and it wasn't a very good situation. I feel she over stepped her boundries. She said it was for health reasons but in this day and age of genetic testing that is hard to back up. I think it was just plain old meddling and selfishness. My husband has never wanted to go looking. He feels this was God's plan and he was blessed with two wonderful parents and a brother and sister (who are biological to his parents).

Just my two cents.

Dawn