Does anyone else....

wonderwoman

wonderwoman

Cathlete
struggle with motherhood sometimes??? Am I the only one who is crazy out there??? I have never doubted myself when I made the decision to have my 3 daughters but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and fustrated sometimes and just irritated.
I have been a mom since I was 18. My oldest daughter is now 19. She pretty much does her own thing. She works goes to school and has a boyfriend & friends so I rarely she her. So she really doesn't give me a hard time about anything. I feel awful that we don't spend enough time together but I am so busy with the 2 younger ones.
My husband is with them in the morning and then I have them from 3pm on. We both work and do opposite shifts to save on childcare cost so he isn't home in the evenings. It's just me and my girls. My 6yr old and soon to be 1 1/2 year old. But sometimes they make me crazy!
I have never been more stressed out. I find myself doing things I never did before like drinking more, eating more and just not having time for myself. I would workout before I got up to go to work but now my 16month old still gets up in the middle of the night. So I guess I'm making too much noise. So my workouts have been suffering. Since having my youngest I just can't seem to get on track with anything!
Am I crazy!?!
 
Heck no, you're not crazy!!!! You're overwhelmed, overworked & over stressed! I felt like SUCH a terrible mother when I had young ones. I'm the sort of person that has to have alone time, & all of a sudden, there was none to be had. I became so irritable & depressed, it was like I was a different person. (My youngest is now 28) I know that mothers with youngsters here on the forum will chime in with tips & suggestions, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not crazy!!!!;) Hugs to you!
 
Really?? Wow I had no idea. I thought and feel alone. I feel like so an awful person because I have become such a different person. I'm no longer the carefree stressfree nothing bothers me type of person. I feel like everything is rush rush rush. eat dinner do homework take baths etc etc. Having wine on the weekends has become such a stress reliever for me. probably bad thing to do :( but I look so forward t it.
 
I felt terribly alone, too. I thought that I "shouldn't" feel so selfish, that I "shouldn't" feel such & such (fill in the blank), which made me feel even worse! I wish I lived near you so that I could offer you some free babysitting!
 
Thanks for your kind words and thanks for letting me know that I am not alone in this crazy but rewarding world of motherhood.
 
I only have one child (2 1/2 year old daughter) nothing compared to your 3, but she is pretty damn tough!! I used to work full-time, 45hrs/week before I had her, and now I am a stay-at-home-mom, which is 24/7 job. I thought the work force was hard, but motherhood is 100X harder!!

I feel like you most definitely. I like my "alone time", and I feel that I don't ever get enough of it. I go through so many emotions on a daily basis, from happy-sad-mad-tired-irritated-depressed. The only way I can re-energize, is through working out. So that 1-hr/day, is MY TIME. I don't feel selfish for wanting that (I would take more if I could!!). I think mothers are "expected" to put on a happy face and be perfect all the time. The grass is always greener on the other side, but trust me EVERY mother out there has had meltdowns and questioned their abilities.

The best thing for me (I can't tell you what/how you should be) is to try and stay healthy and positive and be the best person I can for ME and my daughter. The more I take care of myself, the happier I am and the happier my daughter is. And heck, I am no "super-mom", I know I will never be, but I love my daughter more than anything in the world. I would do anything to make sure she is safe and healthy. In the end that's all kids need right? A parent to love/support them and provide a happy home.

Take care, and hang in there (that's what people tell me. Not sure if saying that helps though):rolleyes:

Natasha

(p.s- if you are crazy, then the world is full of billions of mothers just like you wondering the same thing)
 
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Dear wonderwoman,

I am a mother of a 1 1/2 year old boy, I am working part time and work on shifts as well as you, plus I work even on Saturday/Sunday. I know what you're going through, because eveyr mother goes through that I believe. After a few months from my son's birth I started to realize what Natasha said very well. I needed "me time" and I needed to do something to relieve stress out, that's why I started to work out regularly. To me exercise is like a medicine, after a full hour of jumping and sweating I feel more centered and balanced, I find new focus and feel I can cope better with all my life. I am alone here, no Gannies/Aunties to help with the baby, so I really understand well all your fatigue and your stress, but be positive: I strive myself to see the positive aspects of this difficult, challenging period and try to be strong and healthy for and my family, and try to spend good quality time wiht my boy: when he loughs while playing together or asks for a cuddle, all of my fatigue goes away immediately and my heart fills with joy: try to enjoy the moment, nobody has a perfect life and the most important thing is that you don't miss a thing of your life with your beautiful daughters!
Don't know if this can help... but you're not alone in this world!Big hugs!
Ellie
 
I see so much of myself in your post!! You are definitely NOT alone!

I have 3 kids and my husband I also work opposite shifts (and you thought you were the only one who did that!). ;) I've struggled with getting back to "myself" after having my 3rd kid and by that I mean how often I exercised, how "happy" I am at being a SAHM, making time for hobbies, not being irritated with my husband, etc. It's been a process, that's for sure! I, by no means, have it all figured out, but this is what I have come up with so far in my own journey:

--The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, so it seems. In my down moments I sometimes think it would be "easier" if I worked and sent my kids to daycare. But then, when I come to my senses, I realize that's so not true. I firmly believe everyone has their own struggles, whether you work fulltime, work parttime or don't work at all. You just have to know you are making the right choice, whatever your choice may be, work at it and take those bad days one at at time.

--Exercise makes me happy. I have many versions of my "me" time, be it scrapbooking, reading, shopping or what-have-you but the ONE THING I always (try) to do for myself is exercise. I fit it in at the best possible time, but that doesn't mean it's the easiest. My "to-do" list doesn't get any shorter because I workout. And I have to let certain things go. But I tell myself "I will exercise first. Then I will do x, y and z next." In that order. This also goes for playing with my kids. I'm a happier Mom if I workout. Everyone has the same 24 hours in their day so if exercise is important to you, then you will make time for it. Simple as that.

--The times I have felt the most "down" are when I haven't been exercising. And if depression runs in the family, like it does in mine, exercise is a cheap and easy way to keep that in check. Exercise - the poor mans therapy. ;) Ha!

I thought I had more to say, but I'm losing my train of though. Momnesia, doh! In any event, I want to reiterate the fact that you are very much NOT alone in how you are feeling. I've been where you are and it is very tough. But that also doesn't mean that you are stuck! Look long and hard at what exactly is making you unhappy. If a lack of exercise is bringing you down, then find the time to do it. Fit it in. If it's some other kind of alone time that you crave then find a way to make that happen, too. Be creative! Also, if your husband is oblivious to how you are feeling, talk to him. He might have a suggestion or a way to help make things run more smoothly. Even your little one's night waking soon will pass! So hang in there!

(((hugs)))
 
Thank you all for your advice and suggestions. It's really helps to know that I am not the only one struggling with my life at the moment.
I actually just saw a segment on The TODAY show where they say woman are turning to anti-despressants and anti-psychotic meds to cope with the stresses of life. WOW! and to think I was the only one.
I'm not unhappy with my life just over whelmed sometimes. Somedays I cope great and others I'm just a mess. PMS has a lot to do with that.
There is one thing that is really making me unhappy at the moment and that is that I can't seem to get it together with my workouts. Before I had my third baby I was always on point with my diet and workouts. Now I am lucky if a get 2-3 workouts in a week. I miss my workouts tremendously.

Enough whining! Ladies, have a great weekend and thanks again. You are all so great.
 
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