Doctor in trouble for calling patient obese
- Thread starter autumn
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kidsleepdoc
Cathlete
I am a physician (an anesthesiologist, technically for pediatrics, but I take care of some adults). Obesity is the WORSE disease to afflict the US!!! Would you complain if you Dr. told you you had High blood pressure??? That Dr. could potentially save her life. I think it's a sad statement on our society.Though, reading the other posts, it should be conveyed with sensitivity, and understanding that the patient's best health interest is imporatnat. :-(
kidsleepdoc
Cathlete
You've got it!!!
nancy324
Cathlete
Susan, I was unable to read the whole article because of the pop-up ads that blocked it, but it was unprofessional for the dr. to tell the woman that her weight would affect her love life. I agree, however, that there is nothing wrong with a dr. telling an adult patient that her weight is or will affect her health. In fact, I think he has an obligation to do so.
My stepson went to his doctor one day for a check-up and the doctor asked him if he was saving for retirement. My stepson, who is a big saver, said "Sure. I'm maxing out my 401(k)". The doctor said "Why?" My stepson then proceeded to lose 110 lbs. within a year. The message really hit home. I am very grateful to that doctor. And my stepson has kept the weight off for about 2 years now! He is at a healthy weight, and his blood pressure and cholesterol level are back to normal. So, sometimes a dr. can make a big difference in a positive way.
I despise my old pediatrician, but I'm smart enough not to hold it against all doctors. My stepson's doctor was talking to an adult, and he limited his comments to health issues.
My stepson went to his doctor one day for a check-up and the doctor asked him if he was saving for retirement. My stepson, who is a big saver, said "Sure. I'm maxing out my 401(k)". The doctor said "Why?" My stepson then proceeded to lose 110 lbs. within a year. The message really hit home. I am very grateful to that doctor. And my stepson has kept the weight off for about 2 years now! He is at a healthy weight, and his blood pressure and cholesterol level are back to normal. So, sometimes a dr. can make a big difference in a positive way.
I despise my old pediatrician, but I'm smart enough not to hold it against all doctors. My stepson's doctor was talking to an adult, and he limited his comments to health issues.
buffettgirl
Cathlete
Isn't there some kind of problem with the board that this woman complained to, that they would let the issue get so out of hand? Yes, the doctor may have gone a bit to far, and yes, the women is a whiney pain in the buttocks, but why has this come so far that it is news worthy?
kathryn
Cathlete
>This just brought up the worst memories. When I was about 12
>years old my doctor told me I was overweight and asked me if I
>wanted to grow up to be pretty like my mother or not. Years
>of binge eating and anorexia nervosa followed. He could not
>have talked to me about my looks at a worse age.
I'm so sorry, Nancy. That was very unprofessional of that doctor(and sexist: would he ask a boy if he wanted to grow up to be "handsome" like his dad? I think not?). I can see how that can set someone off on bad eating habits and anorexia/bulemia. If only he'd approached it from a health standpoint instead.
>years old my doctor told me I was overweight and asked me if I
>wanted to grow up to be pretty like my mother or not. Years
>of binge eating and anorexia nervosa followed. He could not
>have talked to me about my looks at a worse age.
I'm so sorry, Nancy. That was very unprofessional of that doctor(and sexist: would he ask a boy if he wanted to grow up to be "handsome" like his dad? I think not?). I can see how that can set someone off on bad eating habits and anorexia/bulemia. If only he'd approached it from a health standpoint instead.
Imafitnessfreak
Cathlete
Nancy's story brings about a huge point...how do you get your point across without being so destructive with your words that you cause a patient to go to the other extreme and fall into the black hole of an eating disorder like bulemia or anorexia?? YIKES!!! I just read it is on the rise for older adults...not just teens.
Something to think about...thanks Nancy for sharing!
Something to think about...thanks Nancy for sharing!
Nancy, I agree that the doctor who talked to you as a teen was very out of line. And I agree that Dr. Bennett could have given some better reasons for this woman to lose the weight. Your stepson's experience was a great example of how to handle it.
But we're not talking about a teenager who is still forming her own self-image. I remember when I was going on 13 and needed to lose a few pounds of what we called "babyfat". I remember how sensitive I was at that age (my pediatrician never said anything about my weight that I recall). And while I wouldn't have appreciated my DH's doctor using my looks or need to get another man or hold on to the one I had as a reason to lose weight, I don't know I'd have taken it other than "Girl, wake up and smell the coffee!" As it was, I was furious with him just not being impressed that I'd lost 20# already. He made me see I had a ways to go and got me going.
Obesity is now being called our #1 health concern in this country. But we just don't want to hear that or what it takes to lose the weight and get in shape. It takes too much work and too much self-denial for us. There just aren't any easy fixes.
But we're not talking about a teenager who is still forming her own self-image. I remember when I was going on 13 and needed to lose a few pounds of what we called "babyfat". I remember how sensitive I was at that age (my pediatrician never said anything about my weight that I recall). And while I wouldn't have appreciated my DH's doctor using my looks or need to get another man or hold on to the one I had as a reason to lose weight, I don't know I'd have taken it other than "Girl, wake up and smell the coffee!" As it was, I was furious with him just not being impressed that I'd lost 20# already. He made me see I had a ways to go and got me going.
Obesity is now being called our #1 health concern in this country. But we just don't want to hear that or what it takes to lose the weight and get in shape. It takes too much work and too much self-denial for us. There just aren't any easy fixes.
Obviously we know one of the main reasons why people are obese in the first place is because the use food to cope. You have probably heard the phrase, "it's not about the food." When a doctor tells someone that they aren't going to live, get a mate, etc. that is probably going to make the person anxious and eat even more. I think professionalism is key, and of course having a plan of action.
I am not a sensitive person, I wasn't offended when my doctor told me I needed to drop some pounds. Also, I believe he was trying to be nice about it. When I saw him in the halls while working as a nurse, and was still *fat*, I would feel a little anxious and embarrased that I didn't lose the weight.
Lori
I am not a sensitive person, I wasn't offended when my doctor told me I needed to drop some pounds. Also, I believe he was trying to be nice about it. When I saw him in the halls while working as a nurse, and was still *fat*, I would feel a little anxious and embarrased that I didn't lose the weight.
Lori
cataddict
Cathlete
I agree---I think it's extremely difficult for a dr. to bring up the issue with a teenager or pre-teen. I also think with the obsessive self image issues that a lot of adolescents have, that they already know that they are heavier than their peers (or shorter, have smaller or larger chests, etc etc). Different approaches work for different people, IMHO. Some respond well to "tough love" approaches and some get angry. That woman was obviously one of the latter, but it appears to be a personal issue between she and her dr, not one that requires a formal complaint to a board. The boards need to be focusing on sanctioning dangerous drs, not just insensitive ones.
Leslie
P.S. And I'm glad to hear I was mistaken about a suit actually being filed---someone on our local news channel mentioned a "pending lawsuit" but it sounds like it hasn't yet happened. That says a little for the lady, but as Robin said, why is the whole thing newsworthy?
Leslie
P.S. And I'm glad to hear I was mistaken about a suit actually being filed---someone on our local news channel mentioned a "pending lawsuit" but it sounds like it hasn't yet happened. That says a little for the lady, but as Robin said, why is the whole thing newsworthy?
Pre-teen and teens are different from an adult women, I'm sorry to say. Pre and teens are more emotional, confused, etc so in a way I kind of don't see a comparison although I thought your doctor was an ass for telling you that. Some doctors just doesn't have a good bedside manner. I've had a couple but they were GREAT doctors even though we had our share of fights, etc.
Who cares if what a male doctor say is sexist?? How would you feel if you repeated something over and over and over and over and over and over in a nice way and idiot still doesn't get it?? You get frustrated and get more blunt. I know I'd do the same to my patient if I have to say the same crap over and over in a nice way and one day I'd had enough of her/his whining and be very blunt.
Who cares if what a male doctor say is sexist?? How would you feel if you repeated something over and over and over and over and over and over in a nice way and idiot still doesn't get it?? You get frustrated and get more blunt. I know I'd do the same to my patient if I have to say the same crap over and over in a nice way and one day I'd had enough of her/his whining and be very blunt.
Hi Miss Ratchet,
Did you electrocute anyone lately?? :+
Honestly, if the doctor repeatly told her nicely to lose weight, warned her nicely about her weight for years and she still didn't listen and kept complaining about her bodily woes, I'd say the same thing to her. I personally don't think it was abusive or sexist. I personally feel he said that to wake her up. Some people JUST DO NOT GET IT. Sometimes you have to say something like that for them to get it. I think she's a big baby and I'd like to smack her if you ask me. This whole thing is so ridiculous. Besides, we do not know how well they know each other and we do not know how long she's had him as her doctor for. If she didn't like the truth, then go to some loser who just bullsh*ts and make over 300 bucks per visit and not care about his/her patients. He sounds like he cares about his patients so I applaud him for trying to wake him up. Sure, he could've said it a little nicer but like I said, he probably got real tired of her crap so he just said what he said. I also think she's tooooooooooooooooo sensitive and she's probably one of those nutjobs who'd sue someone no matter what. My aunt is obese and she doesn't think she's obese. Doctors ALWAYS tell her to lose weight and she always come home mad saying she doesn't need to lose weight. Hello.....You're about 120 lbs overweight so it's pretty obvious. She always complain she has something wrong with her meanwhile she doesn't. She sure wastes doctor's time. If they tell her to lose weight, she finds another doctor. She changes her doctor like she changes her underwear. Jeez! People like that woman in NH really, really makes me mad. It's not fair if you ask me. I have more to say but I'd rather do it in an email.
Hope you and the babes are doing well. I'll send you an email soon. Don't let the Chief bother you in your sleep.
Did you electrocute anyone lately?? :+
Honestly, if the doctor repeatly told her nicely to lose weight, warned her nicely about her weight for years and she still didn't listen and kept complaining about her bodily woes, I'd say the same thing to her. I personally don't think it was abusive or sexist. I personally feel he said that to wake her up. Some people JUST DO NOT GET IT. Sometimes you have to say something like that for them to get it. I think she's a big baby and I'd like to smack her if you ask me. This whole thing is so ridiculous. Besides, we do not know how well they know each other and we do not know how long she's had him as her doctor for. If she didn't like the truth, then go to some loser who just bullsh*ts and make over 300 bucks per visit and not care about his/her patients. He sounds like he cares about his patients so I applaud him for trying to wake him up. Sure, he could've said it a little nicer but like I said, he probably got real tired of her crap so he just said what he said. I also think she's tooooooooooooooooo sensitive and she's probably one of those nutjobs who'd sue someone no matter what. My aunt is obese and she doesn't think she's obese. Doctors ALWAYS tell her to lose weight and she always come home mad saying she doesn't need to lose weight. Hello.....You're about 120 lbs overweight so it's pretty obvious. She always complain she has something wrong with her meanwhile she doesn't. She sure wastes doctor's time. If they tell her to lose weight, she finds another doctor. She changes her doctor like she changes her underwear. Jeez! People like that woman in NH really, really makes me mad. It's not fair if you ask me. I have more to say but I'd rather do it in an email.
Hope you and the babes are doing well. I'll send you an email soon. Don't let the Chief bother you in your sleep.
nancy324
Cathlete
You know, from reading all these posts, including my own, it strikes me that one of the problems is that drs. don't take the time to get to know their patients. My stepson's dr. obviously knew exactly who he was dealing with. He knew how dear money was to his heart, and that it would take something dramatic to get his attention.
Unfortunately, however, such drs. are not the norm. The health care system limits what drs. can be paid, so that they have to fit in a lot more patients, and spend very little time with each one. The whole health care system and the way it is set up discourages a doctor from getting to know his/her patient.
I believe that things are going to change though. Baby boomers are too self-orientated to accept this kind of care, or lack of it. I already see a lot of baby boomers going outside their health care plans and just paying for good health care out of their own pockets. I've done it a few times myself. When you pay $15 to see a dr., you get what you pay for. When you pay a dr. $300 for a visit, they spend the time with you and give you advice tailored to who you are and what you need.
Unfortunately, however, such drs. are not the norm. The health care system limits what drs. can be paid, so that they have to fit in a lot more patients, and spend very little time with each one. The whole health care system and the way it is set up discourages a doctor from getting to know his/her patient.
I believe that things are going to change though. Baby boomers are too self-orientated to accept this kind of care, or lack of it. I already see a lot of baby boomers going outside their health care plans and just paying for good health care out of their own pockets. I've done it a few times myself. When you pay $15 to see a dr., you get what you pay for. When you pay a dr. $300 for a visit, they spend the time with you and give you advice tailored to who you are and what you need.
allwildgirl
Cathlete
You know, I read these types of things, and it makes me glad I live in a country that isn't quite so litigious as yours. It's showing signs of getting that way, mind you.
People don't take responsibility for anything anymore. It makes me angry.
When I was 7 months pregnant, I slipped on a railway platform and fell underneath a (non-moving) train. The first thing everyone asked, after making sure I was okay, was "are you going to call the transit company?". Well, no, why would I? I slipped. I fell under the train. How on earth is that their responsibility and what would I say if I phoned them?
Nancy, you story struck a chord with me. A number of years ago, my doctor admonished me severely for being slightly overweight. I'm 5'7" and at the time I weighed about 154 lbs. Because of the manner in which he approached it, I've since been very reluctant to go for my annual check-ups, because it means getting weighed.
They should teach Bedside Manner 101 in med school.
Sorry for going off on a tangent here.
People don't take responsibility for anything anymore. It makes me angry.
When I was 7 months pregnant, I slipped on a railway platform and fell underneath a (non-moving) train. The first thing everyone asked, after making sure I was okay, was "are you going to call the transit company?". Well, no, why would I? I slipped. I fell under the train. How on earth is that their responsibility and what would I say if I phoned them?
Nancy, you story struck a chord with me. A number of years ago, my doctor admonished me severely for being slightly overweight. I'm 5'7" and at the time I weighed about 154 lbs. Because of the manner in which he approached it, I've since been very reluctant to go for my annual check-ups, because it means getting weighed.
They should teach Bedside Manner 101 in med school.
Sorry for going off on a tangent here.
Carol_is_fit
Cathlete
>signing off for now. There's a chocolate pop tart and a can
>of coke with my name on it waitng for me in the kitchen.
>
>Michele
LOL!!!!
>of coke with my name on it waitng for me in the kitchen.
>
>Michele
LOL!!!!
kidsleepdoc
Cathlete
it was unprofessional for the
>dr. to tell the woman that her weight would affect her love
>life. I agree, however, that there is nothing wrong with a
>dr. telling an adult patient that her weight is or will affect
>her health. In fact, I think he has an obligation to do so.
The problem with this whole article is that is the patient's word or interpretation of what the dr. said vs. the doctor and what was said and how it was said. If they actually said the reason to lose weight would be her love life, who knows what the rest of the conversation was before that? It is not the best way to help a patient with a problem, and certainly her love life is not a life threatening problem resulting from her obesity. I am certainly not defending him if that is truly how it transpired. In dealing with patients and even children as young as 2 or 3 with severe obesity and it's resulting problems, there is much education and help needed. Making headlines about potentially bringing a lawsuit against someone who is trying to help a patient overcome a severe and potentially fatal disease is a very sad statement about our society.:-(
>dr. to tell the woman that her weight would affect her love
>life. I agree, however, that there is nothing wrong with a
>dr. telling an adult patient that her weight is or will affect
>her health. In fact, I think he has an obligation to do so.
The problem with this whole article is that is the patient's word or interpretation of what the dr. said vs. the doctor and what was said and how it was said. If they actually said the reason to lose weight would be her love life, who knows what the rest of the conversation was before that? It is not the best way to help a patient with a problem, and certainly her love life is not a life threatening problem resulting from her obesity. I am certainly not defending him if that is truly how it transpired. In dealing with patients and even children as young as 2 or 3 with severe obesity and it's resulting problems, there is much education and help needed. Making headlines about potentially bringing a lawsuit against someone who is trying to help a patient overcome a severe and potentially fatal disease is a very sad statement about our society.:-(
kidsleepdoc
Cathlete
it was unprofessional for the
>dr. to tell the woman that her weight would affect her love
>life. I agree, however, that there is nothing wrong with a
>dr. telling an adult patient that her weight is or will affect
>her health. In fact, I think he has an obligation to do so.
The problem with this whole article is that is the patient's word or interpretation of what the dr. said vs. the doctor and what was said and how it was said. If they actually said the reason to lose weight would be her love life, who knows what the rest of the conversation was before that? It is not the best way to help a patient with a problem, and certainly her love life is not a life threatening problem resulting from her obesity. I am certainly not defending him if that is truly how it transpired. In dealing with patients and even children as young as 2 or 3 with severe obesity and it's resulting problems, there is much education and help needed. Making headlines about potentially bringing a lawsuit against someone who is trying to help a patient overcome a severe and potentially fatal disease is a very sad statement about our society.:-(
>dr. to tell the woman that her weight would affect her love
>life. I agree, however, that there is nothing wrong with a
>dr. telling an adult patient that her weight is or will affect
>her health. In fact, I think he has an obligation to do so.
The problem with this whole article is that is the patient's word or interpretation of what the dr. said vs. the doctor and what was said and how it was said. If they actually said the reason to lose weight would be her love life, who knows what the rest of the conversation was before that? It is not the best way to help a patient with a problem, and certainly her love life is not a life threatening problem resulting from her obesity. I am certainly not defending him if that is truly how it transpired. In dealing with patients and even children as young as 2 or 3 with severe obesity and it's resulting problems, there is much education and help needed. Making headlines about potentially bringing a lawsuit against someone who is trying to help a patient overcome a severe and potentially fatal disease is a very sad statement about our society.:-(
kidsleepdoc
Cathlete
They do sort of teach "bedside manner" in medical school. Unfortunately, there are way too many people who were too arrogant or whatever to listen to the wise older physicians on how to care for patients. There are also many patients who are nasty and difficult to deal with from the get go. BTW, I hardly think being 5'7" and weighing 154 is overweight. Time to find a new doctor! Please don't judge us all based on one "bad apple". I take care of mostly children and truly care about each one even for the short time I have them during surgery. Though, I must say, it's the parents that are often the difficult ones!