Disturbing what would you do?

[fit44]

Hi Janie, HOLY CRAP!!!!! That absolutely changes things and brings the creepy, disgusting factor off the charts in my mind!!!! Like you, we live in a small, Christian town and a LOT of the kids in this town have been quite sheltered as far as TV, games, etc.. (or so there parents like to believe!). I am sure that many of these so called "18 year old adults" would be just as taken aback and scared - not know what to do. Chronological age does not equal maturity or know-how in the ways of the world.

I too would like to send you major kudos and hugs for having the courage to report this incident. Given the graphic details you provided in your follow-up post it has gone from an alleged incident to a bona fide problem. Someone bust that jerk and throw his sorry ass in jail!!!!

Very proud of the "adult-kid" for going forward. I hope to God they catch that guy!

Pam

ITA with you! I consider 18 years old still a child. I would report this creep in a second!
It's odd a creepy old dude is hanging out around a bunch of young kids (young adults). I'm creeped out just reading this.

 

[cataddict]

When I was 18, I had left home a year before, was living on my own with my boyfriend, had already been to university; I was a woman. If someone hit on me, I handled it; I didn't expect someone to call the police because someone put their hand on my leg.

I realize I will probably be slammed for my reaction, but as usual, I'd rather stand up for the courage of my convictions than be popular.

I don't think disagreeing with you is slamming you, and I don't disagree with all of your points. I believe that you are using your own experience as an 18 year old to define how others may be living their lives at that age and that doesn't necessarily translate into all situations. Some of your argument doesn't quite hold water--a 13 year old can get pregnant and that certainly doesn't mean she is an adult and is equipped to handle adult situations. I do agree that since the guy was 18, it's not a crime and at this point there's nothing to tell the police. I am concerned about the picture taking of other kids there of unknown age and that the creep apparently works there and would be exposed to younger kids. And the creep didn't ask for ID of the 18 year old either I'm sure so who knows if he knew or cared if the 18 year old was "legal" when he approached him.

I think Janie was right to be concerned and to go back to follow up with the director.

 

[morningstar]

Maybe I should clarify: I have no issues with protecting children. I have no issues with reporting to the director of a community centre someone taking photos of kids inappropriately. I have an issue with reporting an incident of one adult hitting on another adult to the police.

 

[cataddict]

Maybe I should clarify: I have no issues with protecting children. I have no issues with reporting to the director of a community centre someone taking photos of kids inappropriately. I have an issue with reporting an incident of one adult hitting on another adult to the police.

I agree with all of this.

 

[janie1234]

I have an issue with reporting an incident of one adult hitting on another adult to the police.

I guess I'd have to disagree with this just because of where the incident took place and because the old creepy dude did not even know how old the teen was. Also because the flirtation was explicit and sexual in nature and front of small children, . .namely mine I'd have to say that it was innapproriate. If you were at a childrens day care and this happened to the point of one person feeling the others leg and one of them becoming aroused. Parents and administrators would be on it like flies to dung. I just feel like there is a time and a place for such things and a youth community center is not the place.

I made sure to talk to my brother who has been a with the San Francisco Police Department for over 10 years and a member of the SWAT divison what I should do and he said that because it was explicit and because of where it happened report it to the police if no action is taken by the director.

Honestly what it all boils down to it how safe do I feel having my children play around the community center when this "employee" is taking photos and playing "nice guy" to them. It takes it to a whole other level. If something did happen to anyone younger than this teen, . . .I would have a hard time living with myself.

 

[kali1]

Janie, be proud of reporting the incident. Yes the 18 yo is an adult but what you did was protect the other children at the facility. The guy is a predator and needs to be stopped. You are a hero to your children as well as countless others. Be proud! ETA, the 18 yo would need to file a report but he can has charges pressed against the creep. Making a police report against the creep can be due to lude and lascivious behavior in front of other children

 

[morningstar]

Imagine that exact same scenario - it all went down exactly the same way, with the same people, except that the older person was a woman instead of a man. Does that change anything? Do you still want to report it to the police? How about to the Director? What if it was an 18 year old girl and an older woman?

It would be very odd for a gay man that was into young men to be also interested into young children, i.e. a pedophile. Pedophiles are interested in children who look like children, not 18 year olds, even if they look 16.

 

[janie1234]

Imagine that exact same scenario - it all went down exactly the same way, with the same people, except that the older person was a woman instead of a man. Does that change anything? Do you still want to report it to the police? How about to the Director? What if it was an 18 year old girl and an older woman?

No it does not change anything at all. I would totally report it. If I was 18 and some old dude came up to me touched my thigh, . .got all excited about it and had to pat himself down, . . I'd feel violated. Hands to yourself rule. Sorry. I'd report it to the police. If it was an older woman and I was an 18 year old girl. I'd still report it. Now if I was at some club, coffee shop, or bus station, I'd tell him/her to piss off and I wouldn't report it if they backed off, . .but what happened does fall under what the previous poster said about a lewd act. I don't know morningstar call me a prude but I have 2 small children I have to protect and if this guy did this to my 10 year old son, . .well, . . I'd hate to think it.

 

[cataddict]

Janie, the bottom line is that you have to do what you feel is right. None of us was at the scene and can only look at the situation from the outside. Our own instincts are frequently our best guide.

 

[rozy]

There was a community center worker that hit on me and my friend when I was a teen and wanted to take pictures of us for their "flyer". Well I said I couldn't (I just had a bad vibe about him - he was oogy!) and my friend ended up going and the guy wanted her to strip naked for the pictures. She got out of there and called the cops on him. So yeah I bet your instincts are right about this guy.

 

[Davidj]

Report him to the police

Janie:
I agree with the majority on this thread. Report him to the police. Also, try to keep in touch with the police as to progress of their investigation.
-- David

 

[Marlene815]

Janie,

This definitely warrants a visit to the police station to report this guy. Also, as someone else mentioned, continue to follow-up with the director and the teen. Should you happen to see this guy again at the community center I would call the police immediately so that they can come and question him.

Sad that kids have to deal with sick weirdos like him. Please keep us updated about this situation.

 

[jthornton202264]

In my opinion, if your gut says something is wrong, you should report it to the police as well. Atleast then you know you covered both areas and you feel better.

I ditto the above response. Make sure you do everything you can do legally and in your power to report this person. If not, you would feel really horrible reading the paper sometime in the future where this same guy did something horrible to someone and then you realize you might could have done something to prevent it (of course you can only do what you can do -- the rest would be up to the authorities). But at least do all you can do -- just my opinion!

Julie