Disappointed in myself

nancy324

nancy324

Cathlete
About a week ago, I got on the bathroom scale in the morning before getting dressed for work, and my weight was up 3-4 lbs. Shortly thereafter I became depressed and extremely irritable and felt like I didn't want to deal with people at all. I didn't make the connection between the two. Today I went to the gym and weighed myself and the extra weight was gone. I am now feeling like my old self again, less irritable and much more able to deal with people. I had an eating disorder when I was a teenager, but that was over 30 years ago.

I'm the first one to tell people not to look at the scale, but the number on the scale seems to have a substantial affect on my mood. I can't believe I'm 51 years old and the darn scale still rules my life. I am so disappointed in myself. Another confession: I don't like heavy lifting because it causes me to weigh more and that affects my mood. :(

I don't judge others by their weight. Just myself. Why is that? Does anyone else fight with this issue?
 
Nancy, Nancy, Nancy, you are not alone in this. I'll be 49 this year and have still not come to grips with the weight number game. For the past 6 years I have not been able to shake 15 pounds and like you had an eating disorder when I was in college. It is really hard not to fall back into bad habits. We are our own best friend and our own worst ememy. Don't be disappointed in yourself. Just realize that you are human and have good days and bad days. I have no advice for you but can certainly empathize.

Cheryl
 
Thanks, Cheryl. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

I think I meant substantial "effect" rather than "affect" above. I've been confusing the two since senile dementia starting setting in. :p
 
You are too hard on yourself, Nancy! A lot of us have a tendancy to be our own worst critic, no one can be more critical and harsh than we are with our own (what we perceive as) shortcomings. We would never beat up other people as we beat up ourselves.

I think it is great that you watch what you eat and are concerned about your weight!
I have to admit I get irritated too if I work out hard, feel like I weigh every morsel of food I put in my mouth and the weight won't budge or I even gain.

But you need to have a little grace and mercy on yourself. We are not perfect, our bodies are not perfect and your weight on ONE day does not portray who you are. I know it is hard, but you just need to let it go and focus on the big picture.

Great advise from someone who doesn't take her own advise :) I have the same problem, I am trying to deal it and take it day by day.

Carola
 
I can totally relate also. The number on the scale has the definite ability to ruin my day. I don;t know how to get past it...
 
Nancy,

As a person with a habitual scale habit and unhealthy obsession for weight or lack of it, years ago, I finally gave up the scale once and for all. I use clothes and a mirror as a guide. You can actually lift heavy and get smaller even though the scale is probably going up. I'm 47 and even though I pretty much have it under control, I believe that it will be a lifelong challenge to keep my mind in the proper framework.

Now if I go to the doctor and have to get weighed, I comment to my family about my weight. They are happy that I am the weight I am and comment on my muscle gain. It's all in the perspective and you have to make a conscious choice about what perspective you want to choose.

I would suggest throwing your scale away as a first step.

Tracy
 
You are so right, Tracy. Clothes and a mirror (and a measuring tape) are so much more important than "the number." I have always weighed a lot more than my appearance would suggest, and I threw out the scale a long time ago because it was just too frustrating. (I am 56.) If I have to get weighed at the doctor's office, I tell them okay I'll step on the scale so you can get my weight, but I do not want to know what it is so don't tell me. I am convinced that throwing out that scale has actually helped me maintain a reasonable weight. Years ago when I used to weigh myself, one of three things would happen, all resulting in the same action: (1) I would weigh more than I expected, get depressed, and go eat ice cream; (2) I would weigh less than I expected and celebrate by eating ice cream; or (3) I would weigh about what I expected and think oh, well, it's okay to go ahead and eat ice cream.:p ;-) Don't get me wrong--I have lots of other excuses for eating ice cream :) but getting rid of the scale eliminated the emotional ups and downs of dealing with "the number."

MissL
 
Hugs, Nancy. Isn't it horrible how we let a stupid number color our whole attitude towards self and the world? I know you are a strong, intelligent, warm, funny, beautiful woman. I also know when the scale goes up, I could tell you that a million times a day and you wouldn't hear it. I'm the same way and thank goodness my DH continues to whisper those sweet reassurances in my ear. Just know you aren't alone and maybe someday (when we reach 61?71?) we'll learn to ignore the scale.
 
Thanks, guys. I knew you would understand. Weight, weight, weight. It's all we hear about. Look at Biggest Loser. They don't measure body fat or inches, just WEIGHT.

Robin, you are so right. I feel the same way about you. You are strong, intelligent, warm, caring, witty and beautiful. And I would feel that way about you no matter what your weight. I couldn't care less what your weight is, other than wanting you to stay healthy. But I have a very different standard for myself. Aaarrrrggghhhh. It's so frustrating because my rational mind knows what's right, but my emotions don't follow. x(
 
I am right there with you, I am so hard on myself when it comes to weight & how I look. I am not that way about others though.

My opinion is to toss out the scale & go by how you feel & how your clothes fit. I have never owned a scale & will never buy one. When I go in for my yearly each year they weigh me but besides that I wouldn't know how much I weigh!

I know it is easier said than done but muscle weighs more than fat so you can actually be heavier on the scale & have your clothes fit better due to the muscle gain.
 
I can totally relate. The other morning I weighed myself, got off the scale and got right back on and I had "gained" 0.4 lbs......scales arent as "accurate" as they may seem. They lie, that was a perfect example!
 
Yep. The scale is a liar. I threw out my scale a year ago and haven't looked back. I get weighed once a year at my annual GYN exam and even then I don't look at the numbers. I am just way too compulsive with the numbers for the scale and I to peacefully co-exist in the same house.
 
I agree with the other posters. Scales are evil! How your clothes fit, how you feel in your skin, the comments your friends and family make are much more useful.

The scale is just a number, it doesn't tell you body fat, it doesn't make allowances for height, shape, etc.

One suggestion: next time that happens (because there probably will be a next time!), go and put on the outfit you feel best in, even do your hair, put make-up on if you want to, then remember how great you look and that all the hard work you put in pays off!

Ronne:)
 
Wow, Nancy, I hope I looks half as good as you when I'm 51!!! You look incredible.

I have the same problem with that "stupid" scale...(ponders to self and asks: "So why do I keep it around"?)

I never really thought about it as a disorder, I thought it was common...since I'm like a drill sargent in my own head most of the time... I think everyone has a little voice going on...who's constantly judging the person within.

Also, you may want to think about what support you have surrounding your everyday life. Do you have people who are also throwing you little "digs", maybe an overbearing person or someone who just likes to "get you going". I say this because my fathers side of the family is always talking about weight issues, and throwing "digs" around, like, who is the heaviest this family reunion, or who ate the most...or someone is too skinny, they don't eat enough, the list is endless...

No matter what you will always find great support here on the forum. Try not to judge yourself to harshly, you are a beautiful person:):):)

Carrie

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar072/slider-but5/lb/209/145/182.0/.png[/image][/link]

http://www.picturetrail.com/uid6743693"
 
Nancy,

I could have written this post myself! I have struggled with this for years. Growing up I struggled with my weight and was obsessed with it. My weight was everything! I was a dancer, and dancers are of course the worst when it comes to eating disorders... well, let's just say I was no different. I obsessed with that scale my whole young life. I was thin until my mid 20's, gained alot of weight as a reaction to some serious circumstances that occurred in my life, until 6 years ago when I lost 125 pounds. After that loss, I was all skin and bones, literally, but the scale had the smallest number I had ever seen. It wasn't pretty though!

I started working out, getting serious about strength training and filling in the skin with muscle. As that happened, of course the scale went up and up. About 20 pounds up. Funny thing is, I looked better and better. I knew it deep inside, but darn if that scale didn't freak me out every day!!

About 3 years ago I decided to throw out the scale. Literally!! I couldn't stand the fight inside my mind anymore and the torture I was putting myself through. WOW!!! Best thing I ever did!!! I am so much happier! I know how my clothes fit, I know what my body looks like and at 40 years ( almost 41) old I am finally free of that numbers game! I have acccepted that the scale means little in weight and strength maintenence. LIke others here, when I go to the doctor I don't look at the scale.

I teach cardio/sculpt classes and I encourage my students to also not look at the scale as much as inches and body fat. It's tough to convince people of this as we have been conditioned to think of weight success in terms of a "Magic" number, but I think some of them are starting to get the message.

I also have to say that when I look at other people, I never see them in terms of a number, so maybe we need to be as nice to ourselves as we are to others.

Now, don't get me wrong about something... I absolutely still struggle every day when I wake up with my body. It is hard to keep it all in check and accept that some days may be more of a struggle in the self acceptance part of it... but, throwing out that scale has certainly made it a whole lot easier to do!!

BTW... YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!!! Wow, I mean, you should look in the mirror and be PROUD!!

Best of luck to you... and thanks for bringing up a subject that I think alot of us here can relate to!
 
Hi Nanc! If you look anything like your pic, you have no worries GF! You looks so lean & trim! I love your "Shophie-Art" in a tank...how cute. I got a "Ringer" tee and have had lots of comments. Anyway, back to the subject...you look amazing and no one would guess you at 51 years old. You go girl!


http://www.PictureTrail.com/gid8692709


Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH (AKA "Den Mother Debbie") http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/aktion/action-smiley-066.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance, I Hope You DANCE!
 
Jen, I agree. It's because muscle weighs more than fat that I think it's nuts to pay so much attention to weight. I guess if I worked out a lot and wore a size 2 and had a 26" waist, maybe then the scale would become meaningless? I think I need to focus on other things.
 
>One suggestion: next time that happens (because there probably
>will be a next time!), go and put on the outfit you feel best
>in, even do your hair, put make-up on if you want to, then
>remember how great you look and that all the hard work you put
>in pays off!
>
>Ronne:)

Good idea, Ronne.
 
Carrie, you are such a sweetie. Thank you so much.

I don't have anyone in my life currently who is negative with me. I got rid of all those folks a long time ago! :7 When I was growing up, my family was like yours. Very critical of others, and very perfectionistic. Now all the negativity is just in my own head. I'm hoping it doesn't take something huge like a serious illness to get my priorities straightened out! :eek:
 
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