Disappearing person

[sammy123]

OK... this is probably going to be a little weird but I'm going to try my best to explain it...
I have this disconcerting feeling sometimes when I start to lose weight- right about the time when I start to look lean and fit- that I am losing a part of myself. Say I weighted 130 lbs. and I lose 10 lbs. and so now I am 120 lbs.... where did 10 lbs. of me go? That is 10 lbs. that actually used to be me that is gone, see?
Now, I understand what has physically happened, so no need to explain that, and it helps that I am adding muscle so that there is an addition instead of a taking away, but I still have moments of this feeling. Just moments- not a big thing- but I was wondering if I was all alone in the world with this odd sensation. (My daughter assures me that I am and suggested that I not even mention it- ha!).
Does anybody know what I am talking about?

 

[BeethovenRocks]

Yep, that all sounds totally weird! What's actually wrong with you??

(((Just kidding, Sammy ))) Please excuse my sense of humour....or lack thereof...

The 'disappearing feeling' might have something to do with the change of MENTALITY that happens when you lose weight (and keep it off!). Now, I'm no expert in the field, and many times I myself have struggled to mantain a healthy weight that feels right. It's saying a lot to realize you have adapted your lifestyle and/or mental focus to help yourself accomplish your desired weight loss, so of course kudos to ya!! Hope it doesn't sound like I'm making light of something serious but maybe the 'part of yourself' you have lost is something you don't need in your life anyway like cravings for unhealthy snacks/desserts or the desire to sleep or veg out at times that would normally be reserved for a workout.

The year after I graduated university, I lost about 20-25 lbs that had slowly but surely crept on during the previous four-year period. I was very proud of myself for doing it the healthy way, eating better and being more disciplined about exercise. There's the (perhaps cheesy) 'wowee, I did it' feeling that comes along with such an accomplishment. What has disappeared for you maybe was that block that was in the way of your weight loss all the while. Personally speaking, when I gain weight that part of me that I wish would 'disappear' would be factors like stress, anxiety, monotony, laziness or indiscipline to stick with my gym routine, cuz it's often one or a combination of those things that makes the lbs start creeping back on me.

Congrats once again on slimming down. Wish me luck as well

OK... this is probably going to be a little weird but I'm going to try my best to explain it...
I have this disconcerting feeling sometimes when I start to lose weight- right about the time when I start to look lean and fit- that I am losing a part of myself. Say I weighted 130 lbs. and I lose 10 lbs. and so now I am 120 lbs.... where did 10 lbs. of me go? That is 10 lbs. that actually used to be me that is gone, see?
Now, I understand what has physically happened, so no need to explain that, and it helps that I am adding muscle so that there is an addition instead of a taking away, but I still have moments of this feeling. Just moments- not a big thing- but I was wondering if I was all alone in the world with this odd sensation. (My daughter assures me that I am and suggested that I not even mention it- ha!).
Does anybody know what I am talking about?

 

[Govtgirl]

I think I know what you mean. When I started to lose a bit of weight, and I would sit down and touch my stomach and feel it was flatter, for a second I'd have this flash of anxiety like "where'd I go?!" then I'd tell myself, "well dummy you wanted to lose weight, and you are!

I guess I had gotten used to feeling bigger, and in some ways having a bit of heft can make you feel like you are more "there."

Like, have you noticed sometimes that some overweight people will kind of strut around, like their size makes them more powerful than others? I even saw this heavy guy wearing a T-shirt with something on it like "I'm bigger than you are so get out of my way." He wasn't a bodybuilder in the least, just a big, heavy guy, a good 400 pounds if he weighed an ounce, and he had this set expression on his face like he was looking down on us pip-squeaks. My husband noticed it too, and we were like "he's proud of this?"

So, I can see how when you lose weight, the physical fact of taking up less space in the world can have a psychological effect of being of less "there" in the world too.

You're not alone, and maybe it will take losing weight super-slowly so the loss is almost un-noticable, and doesn't freak you out.

 

[sammy123]

Shelby- You and my daughter are in exact agreement about my weirdness factor! "What's actually wrong with you??" cracked me up for about 5 minutes! Also thanks for your, as it turns out, premature congrats on my slimming down. The weight loss numbers were entirely hypothetical and can not be assumed to be my real numbers. I'm getting there though!

Govtgirl- That is exactly it!! Thank you for explaining it better than I did. Not a serious thing... more like you said, a "flash of anxiety" and a feeling like you were "more there" before you lost the weight. Exactly!

 

[Janis]

The "I lost weight" mind, and the unconscious need to find what is lost, is exactly what Tom Venuto talks about in his books. He advises that you use words like, "I burned off ____" instead so that you don't repeat the cycle of losing and finding the parts of you that are 'missing'.

 

[RapidBreath]

Weird, but perhaps not alone.

I think you are overly identifying with your body. The fat was not you it was just being held in your body in the same way your breath is not you its just held in your lungs for the duration of your breath. The fat was just energy you used for a certain amount of time.

Also, maybe your body is telling you that you shouldn't be thinner. I know that sounds crazy but our brains take an inventory of our bodies all the time. If you suddenly lost a digit or a limb you would freak out, right? Well, thats because you would look down and your brain would take roll call (fingers, toes you here?) and when it wouldn't get the response back that it was expecting it sends out stress hormones and basically you get to freak out because your brain is freaking out. I hope this makes some sense. So maybe your brain looks at your body when you are thinner and says: "WHOA!!!! Where is my fats!"

There are other possible reasons for that kind of thinking but it doesn't sound like you are experiencing anxiety associated with the last time you were that lower weight.

 

[sammy123]

Janis- Thanks. I actually just read Tom Venuto's newest book and don't remember this topic being discussed. Maybe I missed it.

Rapidbreath- Yes, I think that your are right and that your response harmonizes with Govtgirl's thoughts. However, if my body is telling me that I shouldn't be thinner it is sadly mistaken!!

I hope that in my original post I didn't make this sound like I had a serious mental problem. It's just an occasional feeling that I have had as I pass by a mirror and I was just wondering if anybody else could relate to the idea. By the way, you guys are so smart!

 

[sammy123]

So maybe your brain looks at your body when you are thinner and says: "WHOA!!!! Where is my fats!"

Not only was that hilarious but it is exactly what my brain says!

 

[Janis]

Janis- Thanks. I actually just read Tom Venuto's newest book and don't remember this topic being discussed. Maybe I missed it.

He probably said it in Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle. Or even in one of his blog posts or articles at his forum. I was really tired when I wrote my post, so the thought is somewhat scrambled.

What he points to is how our thoughts and speech direct our mind and our behaviors - unconsciously. He asserts repeatedly that the goal is to not lose weight but to burn fat, because you do not want to gain the weight/fat back. Our brains are programed to find what is lost and retrieve it. If you are interested, I will look for the exact passage in his book.

It really changed how I view my fitness goals. One of my friends burned off over a 100 pounds, and she makes it clear that she did not lose the weight. She burned it off. It is a powerful distinction.