Daycare question

[MelissaPC]

Hi everyone!
I haven't been here in a while; my son is almost one and he's walking - so he's now into everything!
I'm wondering if you ladies can help me! I have just gone back to work, only 2 days a week. I found a family daycare that is close to my office and to my home. The provider is wonderful, I feel really lucky to have found her. Well, I started Ryan yesterday and let's just say it's not perfect! He warmed up to her really quick, the problem is is that he doesn't ever want her to leave him. She said he cried in the morning when she would leave him to tend to the other kids (they are all older than my son), and she had a tough time getting him to nap (once he did he slept for 2 hours). He did eat fine there, and I guess he got better after his nap. But I feel terrible! We don't go back again until Monday. I really want this to work, I really would love Ryan to begin to have some interaction with the other kids. My provider feels that he will eventually adjust, but I just can't stop feeling awful about it.
Those of you who have kids in daycare, did you ever go through something like this? How long did your children take to adjust? And how can I stop feeling terrible!?!?
Thanks so much!
Melissa

 

[letswork]

Hi Melissa

I'm sorry that you are going through a tough time in regards to daycare. I think it's probably a little harder when they are that age because they are going through such a strong attachment to you as well as stranger anxiety.

My son Nate is one and absolutely loves his daycare. Granted, I put him in at 5 months so it was easier. But trust me, Ryan is going to love interacting with the other kids once he gets adjusted. It might take a little while, but he's going to be just great.

Hang in there and try not to feel so terrible. I know it's tough, but the guilt will subside once you see him playing with his new friends.

 

[Cathe Friedrich]

Hi Melissa! I am going through this exact situation right now. My son Kyle is 11 months old and he just started daycare two weeks ago. He too is the youngest of the bunch (5 children total). He only goes three days a week and so this is about his 6th visit. The first visit he cried and had some separation anxiety. I stayed and played for a while and quietly slipped out when he calmed down. He also slept for two hours during nap time on his first visit. The daycare provider assured me this is all very normal and he will adjust. The second and third visit he cried as I put him in her arms upon arrival but as soon as she walked him in the room with the other children he calmed down right away. I'm happy to say that the last two visits he no longer cries when I drop him off and he sleeps very well at naptime. When I come to pick him up he looks very happy and the other children all come up to give him a hug goodbye and he is all smiles.

I too shared your anxieties and am happy to say that they have gone away in just 10 days. I wish you the best and hope to hear that you are anxiety free soon too. Keep us posted

 

[MelissaPC]

Thank you so much for your responses. This has been a tough adjustment for both of us. That's why I negotiated a 2 days in the office schedule.
Cathe, I remember that we were pregnant around the same time. It's good to hear that your son is doing well in his daycare, it gives me hope! And I have to say that my son grins like you wouldn't believe every time I put one of your videos in! It is so funny; I think your right up there with Elmo in his world - no small feat!
Thank you for your videos; I can't imagine trying to lose the post partum weight without them! Being able to work out at home has actually given me more time with my son, it's been great!
Hopefully Ryan will get better with the daycare situation - I really hope he begins to enjoy his time with the other kids.
Thanks again!
Melissa

 

[Fitnik]

I am getting daycare anxiety way ahead of time but.....

Max will be in a full time day nursery from 2 June. He will be about 7 months old. I feel tearful thinking about it but I have to go back to work.

Please reassure me that all will be well! The thought of leaving my little bubba is heartbreaking :-(

 

[MelissaPC]

Hi Fitnik!
If it makes you feel any better, Ryan did much better his second day (yesterday). He really likes his provider, and he likes to watch the other kids. He's still too little to really play with them yet. He still clings to his provider a bit, but he's getting better. The adjustment will probably take a little longer for us because it's only 2 days a week.
I'm sure your son will be fine, it's the parents that have a harder time! I was near tears driving to work yesterday morning, but it felt good to hear he did well at the end of the day. I think as long as you trust your provider and know your son will be safe, you'll do ok. That was my big concern with providers - safety, and their attentitiveness to the children. Ryan is in a home daycare situation. His provider has 6 kids a day. She's really wonderful.
Well, I'm starting to babble, sorry!
And there is nothing like seeing his face when you walk in to pick him up! My son lights up!
Good Luck, and keep us posted!
Melissa

 

[Fitnik]

Thank you Melissa!

It was so sweet of you to respond.

I actually feel better about the whole daycare thing this week. I am looking at another nursery next week which will be the one for our little fella.

Thanks again

 

[Hazel P]

Hi Fitnik,

I just wanted to chime in too and hopefully reassure you that you and Max will do just fine. I don't think there is a parent in the world who hasn't dropped off their little one on that first day of daycare and then gone and wept in the car (Lauren's daycare gave all the first day parents a "care package" that included a small purse-pack of tissues!). It is heartbreaking to have to leave them, but if you've found a good place, you all will make peace with your decision. Whenever I used to get blue about having to leave Lauren, I'd tell myself "There can never be too many people who love a child," and I did feel that her caregivers loved her very much. Even though I did miss her (and am enjoying being home with her and her little brother now), I think daycare had a lot of positive benefits for her (e.g., she is a very outgoing kid, adapts easily to new situations, pretty self-sufficient, very verbal -- part of that may or course be just her personality, but I think daycare definitely helped foster those traits in her).

My only concrete suggestion is to try to go back mid-week, so that you only have a few days of work before you get to spend the weekend with them. Take lots of pictures for your desk, maybe plan on a short day that first time, and give yourself time to adjust.

Try to enjoy the next couple months and let tomorrow take care of itself. Good luck and I'll be thinking about you!

 

[Fitnik]

You are very sweet?

Thanks Hazel.

I'm starting Max at nursery the week before I return to work so he can settle in.

Thanks again!