Can patience be learned?

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
I think I'm probably the most impatient person in the world. I'm always in a rush, even if I have no place to be. I get irritated when I'm in a store & two people are strolling in front of me without giving me room to "pass." Everything I do is done so quickly I injure myself on a regular basis (my hands are as bad as Les Nesman's from WKRP--remember he used to always have at least one bandaid on them?). I'll park in the furthest possible spot rather than circle a parking lot waiting for a closer spot. I'll take long routes to get places to avoid sitting in traffic & keep moving. I can't teach my co-workers anything b/c it's quicker to do it myself (& I feel like I'm hurting them by holding them back but my head would explode if I had to explain something over & over).

Is it just me? Is patience an inherent trait or can it be taught? If it can be taught, can someone more patient than me give me some lessons please? ;-)
 
That sounds EXACTLY like me!!!!!!! Let's go shopping together and have some fun!!! I will push everyone out of your way and you can run down the others with the cart, o.k? LOL

Charlotte~~
 
Yes, to some degree I think so. I also am one who is always rushing...first time I slowed down was when I took my eight month old son for a walk in his stroller, I was zipping along and he said flower. I was like huh that's a weed a dandellion and kept on moving, he kept saying flower so we had to go back and look at the flower. That was the day I started to slow down. In order to be patient, you need to see things from other peoples point of view. The dandellion was the most beautiful thing my child had seen and he needed to look at it more - stop and smell the roses.

Park at the furthest spot - great exercise the walking, take the long route to avoid traffic, but when someone is in the store "strolling" think to yourself, this person is recovering from an illness and this stroll is a major milestone for them - that always helps me put things in perspective.

Hope this helps and doesn't sound preachy wasn't trying to be.
 
OK Charlotte, you have a deal! I'm guessing your elbows are at least as sharp as mine, possibly even more dangerous.......:p
 
I believe patience can be acquired. For me, impatience was a symptom of being stressed and handling it badly. Practicing yoga on a regular basis has helped me a lot with this. It feels easier to slow down, be in the moment, and be okay with it.

HTH
 
I think that I have been a patient person all my life. That's probably why I became a teacher. I think you just have to pay more attention to how you are feeling at the time when you find yourself being impatient, realize what's going on, and take a deep breath. Then ask yourself, why is it so important to get whatever it is done so soon? Especially if your not in a hurry. Come on...you can't always be in a hurry. Maybe age has something to do with it...I don't know. The older I get, the more patient I get. I know that when I'm in a classroom with 25 first graders, the first think I do is teach them the routine and how to do things like take attendance, etc. Teaching them to do as much as possible makes them feel good and helps me out alot. I've been told that when I'm absent from school, subs like coming to my room because the kids know exactly what to do and how. Teaching your co-workers what to do may take time at first, but it will pay off in the end. Good luck.
 
>OK Charlotte, you have a deal! I'm guessing your elbows are
>at least as sharp as mine, possibly even more
>dangerous.......:p


What did you have in mind? LOL!

Charlotte~~
 
I also think that patience is a day to day thing. Some days, I am really very impatient and can't stand if my planned routine is forced to change by 1 iota! Other days, I couldn't care less if I even have a routine planned.

At work, I don't feel patient, but have been told that I am one of the most patient nurses there (not a pun), especially with the head injury patients that don't know what they are doing and won't ever remember. I also enjoy taking/teaching students sometimes, but I think that it's because I like to talk.
 
OMG I'm totally impatient. Drives DH insane. I hate waiting even two seconds for anything. But, patience can be learned, I think, but it takestime, self-control and dedication. Valium and a nice Pinot Grigio don't hurt either.

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
I think to a degree, yes. You just have to try to reset your thinking. I am a person that can't handle just leaving something half done, it drives me crazy! But last week before we had our huge heat wave dh and I started painting. Well, it got too hot to finish. And in order to keep my sanity looking at my walls I had to just keep telling myself, "the paint isn't going anywhere and neither are the walls. We will get to them as soon as it cools down." And sure enough it cooled down today, and tomarrow we will start taping and getting preped again to paint. Now, had I not sat there and forced myself to deal with the walls the way they were I would have freaked out. I'm that bad about those kinds of things. So, maybe you can tell yourself, hey, so this guy in front of my is going a little under the speed limit in the fast lane, the guy next to him is keeping pace, but the store isn't going anywhere. And maybe take a few deep breaths and try to just relax. Just a thought.
I also agre with Amy though, it can SO depend on the day. There are days that I have all the patience in the world with my 6 yr old and then there are days that I have NO patience.

Kathy
 
Hi Laura,
Boy, can I relate! By nature, I am the same way as you--in a hurry and impatient (My mother, a Class A firebrand, was my role model). I would always use force to get things done quickly (even to the point of hurting myself or doing a sloppy job), and I had no appreciation for the art of gentleness.

Over the past decade or so, I've been trying to develop patience and graciousness (not there yet, but definitely improving). I realized that I was always rushing to the next thing, and never finding any happiness in the moment. Even when I looked forward to something for a long time, and the moment arrived, I would be thinking of the next trip, or the next anything. That was no way to live--always holding my happiness for ransom in the future. Through yoga and meditation, I came to understand that the past is not ours, or it is finished (so there's no use lamenting it) and the future may never be ours (so there's no use in planning excessively and rushing to get there). What I realized was that I was totally incapable of living in the now--and that's the only moment we ever really have for sure.

Now I do simple meditations. For example, if I'm walking somewhere, I take my focus off the goal (the future) and get into the moment, feeling the energy of life surging through my limbs and wanting to be nowhere else but in that moment. Yoga has really taught me to control my mind. Also, there's a wonderful book to read called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.

So I think we impatient people of the world would do well to learn how to relish the present moment which by nature we tend to resist. Ultimately, not knowing how to live in the present is a recipe for misery. And the world is ever increasingly set up in such a way as to make us more impatient (and less gentle) than ever before. It is good that you recognize this as a rough edge in need of some smoothing over. Take it from one who has been filing away this rough edge for years.

Manmohini
 
I'm very patient with my children and family, and I love looking at the world through the eyes of mine and others' children at a slow pace. But put me in a store shopping or driving down the road...just get outta my way!!!

Laura, I think patience can be learned to a degree. I think that's what happened with me after the arrival of my children. However, I don't know HOW I became a patient mom. I guess God gave me what I needed when I needed it. I've never been a patient person by nature. I'm especially impatient with myself and I'm finding yoga helps...a little.:)
 
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