Call me boring and not a hip mom...
- Thread starter lulu68
- Start date
DITTO!! A 16 yo girl killed herself in our town over the summer. She'd been partying w/ her older brother (also underage!) & twin brother in her parents' home FOR HOURS while her mother was upstairs!! She drove into a tree at over 100 mph and split her range rover SUV in two! Never saw the tree. She was plastered out of her mind.
Her FB pic showed her w/ a bottle of rum between her knees & a beer can in her hand. Her twitter pic showed her in her underwear. Ooooh, couldn't see that kind of car accident happening.
Yes, it was tragic to see a young girl lose her life for taking chances & having a typical teenage sense of immortality but it was fortunate she didn't kill anyone else that night! Her parents were careless, reckless & unwilling to be PARENTS and hadn't been for years despite repeated issues w/ her & their other children. Rehab doesn't work if you don't do your part!
I never want to see anyone lose their child but I NEVER want to see anyone lose someone they love because someone else didn't act like a parent.
Do you think this tragedy changed any behavior among the kids or the parents? At our HS homecoming dance this past weekend, over half the kids left after an hour or so to go to "after parties" at the cool parent houses. The dance wasn't even half over & the drinking was starting. With parents. Ugh.
Joan
Her FB pic showed her w/ a bottle of rum between her knees & a beer can in her hand. Her twitter pic showed her in her underwear. Ooooh, couldn't see that kind of car accident happening.
Yes, it was tragic to see a young girl lose her life for taking chances & having a typical teenage sense of immortality but it was fortunate she didn't kill anyone else that night! Her parents were careless, reckless & unwilling to be PARENTS and hadn't been for years despite repeated issues w/ her & their other children. Rehab doesn't work if you don't do your part!
I never want to see anyone lose their child but I NEVER want to see anyone lose someone they love because someone else didn't act like a parent.
Do you think this tragedy changed any behavior among the kids or the parents? At our HS homecoming dance this past weekend, over half the kids left after an hour or so to go to "after parties" at the cool parent houses. The dance wasn't even half over & the drinking was starting. With parents. Ugh.
Joan
fit44
Cathlete
I'm not sure what you mean by this? I can tell you this for nothing....I drank when I was a teenager, and my parents did not allow it. I did it anyway, and I would never dream of calling my parents to come pick me up without them making a fool out of me in front of my friends. I drove home drunk and by the grace of God I did not kill anyone.
I have two boys ages 22 & 28 and I told them if they drink they must call me or call a cab and I will pay for it.
My oldest never drank as a teen. He was always the designated driver because he thought drunk people looked stupid, and he did not want to look stupid.
My 22 year old son if finishing his 5th year of an engineering program (away from home), and he did drink underage at school. He shares a house with 4 other guys and they have the party house.
I don't condone underage drinking, but I have had the talk about drinking and driving.
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I can't speak for the OP, but I know in our town, there are plenty of parents that have no problem not only supplying but drinking with their teenagers.
They want to be cool parents -insert rolling eyes-
Underage drinking is against the law for minors and for those whom supply it. With that being said, I'm guilty on both counts when I was much younger. Where I went to high school, an elected official was purchasing alchohol for underage students to be cool. For those I did purchase for, I threatened them if they drink and drove. It must have worked cause I am alot smaller than those I did it for.
My exchange student from Europe wanted me to purchase for her when she was here only being 15 years old. I refused. Six years ago.
From my understanding, a minor with alchohol could be charged for showing pics on social networking sites in many States.
Plus, minors do approach adults to purchase for them. It curbed in my area when they asked a few undercover cops.
My exchange student from Europe wanted me to purchase for her when she was here only being 15 years old. I refused. Six years ago.
From my understanding, a minor with alchohol could be charged for showing pics on social networking sites in many States.
Plus, minors do approach adults to purchase for them. It curbed in my area when they asked a few undercover cops.
fit44
Cathlete
Yeah, I know a few parents like this. One I met during my volunteer work at school. She thought she was responsible by drinking with her teenage daughters and friends.
As a parent there is a tricky balance when it comes to underage drinking (more so for college age kids). My husband and I would never supply the booze, encourage drinking or host a party, but we were never under the delusion our boys would not drink at a party.
We didn't want them to drink, but we needed to make it painless for them to call us for a ride home or call a cab.
Our boys have never been arrested for DUI/ DWI or for MIP (never been arrested for anything
), but several of their friends have. 
melagras
Cathlete
You are not old-fashioned. The older I get, the more old-fashioned I seem to be.
If I had children, I would never allow them to drink with me even if it is at home. Why would you want to party with your children? I don't understand these parents who want to be cool. They are not supposed to be the "cool friend". They are supposed to be the "parent" and responsible for their children's safety and well being. I don't think I would want to be raised in a household that has no rules and restrictions. You don't learn anything.
Personally, I think you enjoy the things that weren't allowed as a teenager when you are finally of legal age. I know I did.
If I had children, I would never allow them to drink with me even if it is at home. Why would you want to party with your children? I don't understand these parents who want to be cool. They are not supposed to be the "cool friend". They are supposed to be the "parent" and responsible for their children's safety and well being. I don't think I would want to be raised in a household that has no rules and restrictions. You don't learn anything.
Personally, I think you enjoy the things that weren't allowed as a teenager when you are finally of legal age. I know I did.
tralaiven
Cathlete
This may not be popular, but I often ask myself why drink alcohol at all? It is very expensive for one thing, there is such a danger of abuse and just danger in general. If there is domestic violence in a home (my DH was a cop) generally, 9 times out of 10, alcohol was involved. People do stupid and dangerous things when drunk, they kill people, they say awful things. And even though parents drink moderately at home, it is still around for the children to learn by example and could take it to the nth degree and get in real trouble themselves. And besides...it is FATTENING and UNHEALTHY.
If I stood in front of my kids with a scotch on the rocks and pointed my finger at them and told them they couldn't drink I would feel like such a hypocrite...and not only that ...what would I be teaching them? Life is tough enough...why make it tougher with alcohol consumption??? Just a question.
I am not saying this to slam anyone who responded here, and I am only replying to the original post, not in response to any response in this post. These are simply my thoughts and how I live my life and how I have raised my kids (who, BTW, do not drink or have alcohol in their homes nor were they partiers in high school)
If I stood in front of my kids with a scotch on the rocks and pointed my finger at them and told them they couldn't drink I would feel like such a hypocrite...and not only that ...what would I be teaching them? Life is tough enough...why make it tougher with alcohol consumption??? Just a question.
I am not saying this to slam anyone who responded here, and I am only replying to the original post, not in response to any response in this post. These are simply my thoughts and how I live my life and how I have raised my kids (who, BTW, do not drink or have alcohol in their homes nor were they partiers in high school)
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fit44
Cathlete
Tracy,
ITA with what you are saying, and I agree with you to a point. My mother grew up with an alcoholic mother and would not allow one drop of alcohol in our home. Unfortunately that did not stop me from teen drinking.
My DH and I were never the type to come home to a glass of wine or beer. Not judging people who do, but it was never something we did. My husband and I were both teen drinkers, so the decisions we made raising our sons were based on our life's experience. It worked for us.
I wanted to add....What I find terrifying today is that heroin addiction has become VERY common in our local HS. My brother's daughter was dating a boy who was addicted to heroin and found out 6 months after they were dating. He was arrested for home invasion and spent 6 months in prison. Apparently the only way to know if your kid is addicted to heroin is when they detox. They basically take it to look normal.
It's almost epidemic in our school district.
ITA with what you are saying, and I agree with you to a point. My mother grew up with an alcoholic mother and would not allow one drop of alcohol in our home. Unfortunately that did not stop me from teen drinking.
My DH and I were never the type to come home to a glass of wine or beer. Not judging people who do, but it was never something we did. My husband and I were both teen drinkers, so the decisions we made raising our sons were based on our life's experience. It worked for us.
I wanted to add....What I find terrifying today is that heroin addiction has become VERY common in our local HS. My brother's daughter was dating a boy who was addicted to heroin and found out 6 months after they were dating. He was arrested for home invasion and spent 6 months in prison. Apparently the only way to know if your kid is addicted to heroin is when they detox. They basically take it to look normal.
It's almost epidemic in our school district.
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gettingfitmom
Cathlete
As a parent, this is what i tell my three kids (ages 20, 19, 17)
-do not drink
-you have the rest of your life to do so,do not screw it up now
-heres what CAN happen if you do...
-heres what WILL happen if you do (Picture irrate mom and dad)
-if u r in a situation where there is drinking and you are uncomfortable, CALL
so far so good the2 oldest are in college and as far as i know,do not drink
the youngest has the fear of his dad in him, not a bad thing.
A parent can only instill good morals and values in their children, then sit back and cross your fingers and hope they listened.
You are a parent first, the friend thing comes later...
-do not drink
-you have the rest of your life to do so,do not screw it up now
-heres what CAN happen if you do...
-heres what WILL happen if you do (Picture irrate mom and dad)
-if u r in a situation where there is drinking and you are uncomfortable, CALL
so far so good the2 oldest are in college and as far as i know,do not drink
the youngest has the fear of his dad in him, not a bad thing.
A parent can only instill good morals and values in their children, then sit back and cross your fingers and hope they listened.
You are a parent first, the friend thing comes later...
tsagona
Cathlete
When my boys were in high school one of them had a friend whose mother would go out and buy them beer and drink with them. Once I learned that my son didn't go there anymore. Another party my other son attended, the parents took up all keys as the kids got there because they supplied beer for the party. What? By the time high school was over, my kids didn't have any friends, lol.
Glad they are grown now.
Glad they are grown now.
hula_girl
Cathlete
I think some parents just don't mentally graduate high school and still want to be 'in' with the popular crowd. What drives me nuts though is when I hear someone knows about this going on and doesn't report it. It is illegal and they are putting other people's children at risk. I don't get any of it.
On a more selfish note, why would any parent want to risk doing jail time to get their kids some booze??
This isn't selfish at all. Think of the liability if you supplied alcohol to someone underage and they killed themselves or someone else? Taking the car keys is not good enough. What about alcohol poisoning? Slip and falls, etc etc.
I just don't get it.