Brothers Passing

S

sarahbl

Cathlete
I just need to vent, so please bear with me. My brother lost his 8 year battle with cancer last week. I have to fly to Detroit for the funeral tomorrow. I have never experienced losing someone close to me and I'm 50. Anyway, during his battle I was blessed with the opportunity to help the family (his children are still young) during these years. Got to know them in ways I never imagined. I don't think it has really sunk in yet. That I believe will happen tomorrow when I see his kids and the rest of my family. So if you have a dispute with a family member please try to work it out. You may loose them sooner then you think. I'm nervous, scared, and shaky. Is this normal? I hope I have nort offended anyone and thank you for letting me vent.
 
My heart goes out to you. I lost my dear brother about 5 years ago, do to a heart attack. Till this day still hard to believe that he is gone. Just the other day as I was coming home from dropping off my son at school, one of his favorite songs came on the radio, I totally broke down and cryed all my way home. My brothers passing was sudden, my kids at the time had very important test to take it was very important that they take this test, I also provide care for working parents and this parents usually don't have a back up, plus are finances would not allow us to go for a few days. To mak a long story short, I made the decision that I would not go until the day of the funeral, but I did keep in touch with my family and my mom for support. Let me tell you in was the decision that forever change my relationship with my family. I was judge and still now it feels very odd when I go visit. Acording to them I should have gone right away to be with the family. At the time I had 5 children, now 6 it was just not that easy. I loved my brother and I know I could't been a better sister to him. My brother was full of life I was his favorite and I took that for granted so much that sometimes he would annoy me, the way he would rap his arms around me almost dropping me to the floor. Now I wish he was still here so that I could just let him be my big brother. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Lourdes
 
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the pain of losing a sibling, especially one that has young children. My prayers are with you and your family.
 
Sarah,
I am hurting for you :(. There are no rules for grieving: whatever you feel and whatever you do is normal. The pain will NEVER go away; but ever so slightly, every day will bring you a little less hurt. I hope that you have some happy memories of him that you can bring out from time to time. Energy never ends...it just changes forms. Look for your brother in the living things around you......
 
Thank You all so very much. Your thoughts and prayers mean alot. Right now I have a hard time looking at his picture. In time I hope that will change. Thanks again!!
 
Sarah -

My heart goes out to you and you have my deepest sympathy. I have lost siblings and can empathize. Grieve in whatever way works for you and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel....there is no "normal" as far as this is concerned. Be there with and for your family when you can. And be open to letting others help you with and through your grief. There is no right or wrong, there's only getting through it. And Nanbo is right in that the pain will never go away, but the good will come back and instead of just overwhelming feelings loss, other things will creep in and begin to supplant it, or at least balance it, like your gratitude for the time you did have with your brother and that you got to share part of your life with him. In the meantime, it's about getting through each day. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you peace.
 
Sarah, please accept my condolences. I am so sorry to hear about your brother's passing. I have two sisters that I love dearly and I would be heartbroken if they were no longer here.

Lulu, I am sorry to hear of your tensions with your family when your brother passed. Everyone grieves in their own way, and I am sure they are just still having a hard time processing their loss...anger often goes hand in hand with grief; especially when someone is taken from us early in their life. However, you have to know that you made the decision that was best for YOUR family, for your children at that time. As much as we want to be all things to all people, it's just not always possible to do so. I am just sorry that your family is not more understanding of what your children need from you too. I hope you take solace in the fact that you did what was best for your children.
 
Sarah,
Just giving you a little shout out to see how you're doing these days. Perhaps you could plant something that will thrive and grow in your brother's honor? Maybe a beautiful tree that will provide shelter and shade? I have done this type of thing for each loss in my family and it creates a living memorial that brings an inner peace.
Just wanted you to know that we are thinking of you!
 
What a nice idea, Nancy. :)

Sarah, my condolences go out to you and your family. I am deeply sorry for your loss. My BIL died 6-1/2 years ago. I miss him very much :( As we get up in years, we begin to witness the loss of loved ones and it is scary. :( I often question my own mortality. I am not afraid to die. I am just not ready. Prayers and (((hugs))) to you and yours....
 
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