Bridal Shower Fury!

Timber99

Timber99

Cathlete
I'm getting married in October here in NH, though I am from NJ. Of course, there is the issue of the bridal shower and I am sure where to hold it. There? here? Both? That kind of made me feel totally out of the loop and sure that they'd catch me off-guard :)

Here's my rant:

Why is it that about 4 or 5 relatives have called ME with questions about the shower? I'm the bride, for god's sake, and every time someone calls to throw in another tidbit that I am not supposed to know, I probably come one step closer to finding out inadvertently where and when my shower is! I also will respond with things like "I, as the bride, may not know about certain events..." etc. and they STILL don't get it.

I hope I don't sound like Bridezilla but good lord, you get "surprised" a few times in life & it'd be nice to at least have people "try" not to tell me!
 
I’m sorry that your shower is becoming less of a surprise. Since they are not getting you subtle hints can you be blunt but polite when relatives/friends call about the shower? Maybe you could say, “If you have any questions about the shower, please don’t ask me. I am not in charge of the shower and would like for it to be a surprise. You can ask [insert name here] if you have any questions.”

Good luck. I hope you have a wonderful and surprising shower!
 
I try to look at the positives in bad situations. Wouldn't it be worse if everyone forgot and didn't throw you a bridal shower at all? If it is really bugging you I would just be honest with everyone that calls and say you know I'm sorry but I just don't know. Things get more hectic the closer you get to the big day. Your gonna have to pick and choose your battles and try to make the experience a good one.
 
SirenSongWoman said:
I'd just scream and yell "Shut up!!!"
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:D !!!!!!!!! That would work too.

Relatives are funny, aren't they? You'd think they'd know to call whoever is responsible for throwing the shower.

(Whoever? Whomever? I never know which one to use, and I've yet to find a decent explanation!)
 
When referring to the subject, you use "who". When referring to a direct object (the people responsible...), you use "whom". In this case, it's "whom".

You would use "whoever" in the following example: "Whoever is responsible for this is crazy!"

I hope this was a decent explanation :). It took me years to get it.
 
Here's a "rule of thumb" for whoever/whomever that's really easy to remember, and it works often enough that 99.99% of the people you talk to won't catch you when it doesn't.

If you can replace the word with he, then use who. If you can replace the word with him, then use whom.

As in the example above: Whoever is responsible for this is crazy. 'He' is responsible for this, so you use who/whoever.

Another example: Whomever I choose as my groom, he will do as I tell him. I choose 'him' as my groom; he will do as I tell him. :D

Shari
 
I remember that "whomever" comes after a preposition, so that helps sometimes. But your helpful tips clear things up a bit more. :) Thanks, guys!

Whoever is responsible for throwing this shower better get a hold of these relatives and tell them to keep their traps shut! :eek:
 
Other than the very first one (b/c it was comical to me & my fiance that my cousin called the person whose surprise party it was for the details), I haven't told anyone in the bridal party about these comments. I only shared rhe one story with my maid of honor. The one thing I do know is that they are putting in tons of effort for a successful event and they'd be really upset about this happening.

I've just played dumb or made a suggestion that maybe I as the bride may not be privy to certain events and details but perhaps my made of honor could help.

Seems like people here think I am being stupid and ungracious (which is TOTALLY not the case) but I still feel that it's a no brainer to call someone other than the bride for the details on her shower, particularly when it is my cousin and their relative that is running the show! lol!
 
LOL at the grammar lesson going on in this thread!

Timber, hugs to you, being a bride is wonderful and hard all at the same time. I got married last May so it is still fresh in my mind. Enjoy it!!
 
Timber99 said:
Seems like people here think I am being stupid and ungracious (which is TOTALLY not the case) but I still feel that it's a no brainer to call someone other than the bride for the details on her shower, particularly when it is my cousin and their relative that is running the show! lol!
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It is a no brainer, I agree. :D

I don't recall anyone saying "stupid" or "ungracious," but as for my reply, I thought I'd share my perspective in the hopes it would help remind you how cool it is to have people who like/love you enough to throw a shower (I didn't have that, so I know how crappy it feels to be totally blown off.).

Not that you don't realize how lucky you are, but sometimes in the middle of all the hoopla that surrounds this kind of event, one can get lost in the details and forget the big picture. :) Whenever that happens to me, I try to feed myself the same reminders.
 
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