Binge Eating

D

dormars1979

Cathlete
Has anyone struggled with binge eating in the past and successfully moved past it?

I had always been very active and health conscious throughout high school and college, running and lifting weights and eating very healthfully. After college, I went through a crazy period where I stopped working out, picked up smoking, and gained 40+ pounds. This lasted for about a year until I got serious again, quit smoking, discovered Cathe, went back to running and weight lifting and the healthy way of eating, and dropped more than the weight I had gained.

Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I find that I have become more and more obsessed with food. While I was losing weight, this was not an issue, but since stopping the weight loss, I am crazy. I usually end up bingeing at least 1-2 times a week, making me feel guilty and weak. I always promise that I won't do it again, but sadly it seems to be a cycle I can't break. I never starve myself, and don't feel that I deprive myself too much. Even if I let myself have "cheats" on a daily basis, this bingeing still seems to occur. So far I have not been able to find a way to stop it. Luckily, I have not been gaining any weight back, but I just really want to stop this cycle and feel in control and at peace with food. There are some nights where I'm trying to relax and watch TV, and the food thoughts in my head are so strong and I feel so anxious that I can't even relax.

If anyone has been able to get a handle on this, I'd appreciate any advice.

Thank you so much,
Doreen
 
I suffered from bulimia in high school and college. Really, Therapy helped alot. It is a way to figure out why you are doing this. I also took anti-depressants for a few years. It is [possible to break the cycle and become healthy but I think it is hard to do it on your own. HTH. You can PM me if you have any other questions.
LD
 
I binge eat all the time. I don't purge at all, but I definitely binge. Sometimes when I get home from a meeting at midnight I'll eat half a box of cookies, a couple of donuts & a bag of chips--like I'm cramming 6 hours worth of eating into one. While I'm doing it I think to myself "it's no big deal, I'm small enough & a few extra pounds won't hurt me." After I feel a little guilty, but not very. And my weight really doesn't fluctuate much. Also I wouldn't say I'm obsessed w/food at all. I think it's more like part oral fixation, part boredom. Usually when I'm sitting home at night watching TV I make a variety of trips to the fridge. Probably this comes from being a recovering nicotene addict. If I can't smoke I need something else to occupy myself.

Are you gaining back the weight you lost? I mean, binging 1-2 times a week is nothing to beat yourself up over unless you're purging after, which of course has a variety of implications. But if you just pig out once in a while I think you should try to let go of the guilt & just enjoy the food. We're human beings, as far as I know none of us are monks or samuraiis, we all have weaknesses, what would life be if we didn't indulge ourselves once in a while?
 
Thanks for the replies.

I have never purged after a binge, but I do sometimes bump up the exercise the next day to make up for it. As far as weight gain, I am basically the same weight...I have gained maybe 5 lbs since my low point, but they were probably needed pounds. I am usually happy w/the way my body looks.

You are definitely right that it probably isn't such a big deal to pig out 2x a week. The problem I guess is more that I think about pigging out ALL THE TIME. And it's really hard to not have the guilt feelings when I do give in to it. Thoughts of food are just way too strong and it's always a struggle to try to keep eating only what I feel I should eat.
 
I did the same thing before I got married. I went through a spell where my favorite thing to do for relaxing was watch movies by myself and eat junk. I stopped probably around the time I started dating my now husband, most likely because my mind was definately preoccupied. My new favorite thing became spending time with him and eating went to the back burner. Now that I've been married awhile, I don't have time to sit around and eat junk to the extent that I did before (and not that you or anyone else is not using their time wisely, please don't misunderstand, I just mean that I don't have the time available to me that I used to)and I'd be embarrassed for my husband to see me eat 1/2 gallon of ice cream or the like in one sitting. Now, I watch a movie with him and we eat junk together and we share it;) . My point being, for me I stopped doing the major binging when I got interested and focused on something else. HTH, Ashley
 
Ashley,

That really makes a lot of sense to me. I usually workout in the morning, work a long day, and then come home and feel that all I want to do is relax by the TV. This is probably the worst thing for me to do. I know that I have an "anxious" brain, and so when I'm not focusing on something, I'm probably giving my brain the time to just think obsessively about food. I mean, I don't sit around all day at work and do that. Maybe the key for me is to try to find some more activities in the evening to occupy my mind.
 
Doreen,

I have certainly been there and done that too many times in my past to count. It became even more difficult about a year ago when I had my son and became a stay home mom. Having access to food 24 hours a day is a big challenge. The best thing I can do when I am beginning to feel an urge to binge is just get up and do something else. As soon as I am able to occupy my thoughts with another activity the urge fades just as quickly as it came. I also began keeping a food journal and eating 6 small meals a day every 3 hours. Now I just don't find myself hungry during the day and the urge to binge just isn't there anymore. The journal is amazing for just keeping myself in check. I write down when and what I eat and if I am having a bad day I write down what I am feeling. If I am having trouble with a particular meal and give in to an urge to over eat, I write down what I could do differntly to avoid the same situation tomorrow. I had read numerous articles in the past that a journal was a good thing to do and I certainly wish I would have started journaling years ago. When I do I have a bad day I just try to remember that one day does not define me as a person and start again.

Hope that helps and good luck

Tracy
 
Thanks Tracy :)

I have tried using food journals (Fitday.com), but this actually made it worse. It made me even more obsessed with every single ounce of food going into my mouth. I do like the idea though of writing down what I'm feeling when I do lose control or feel like I might...maybe that'll help me get a handle on why I'm having so much trouble w/this.

Congratulations on getting this under control - I know it isn't easy.

Doreen
 
I am so bummed to hear the food journal didn't work for you. I'm not using a website for mine. I just created a form on my computer. I don't really keep track of calories, that's too much work for me, just what I had and when. Binge eating I think is all emotional. You sort of feel good about it when it's going down but you just feel awful about yourself afterward. Remembering how awful you felt when it was over I think is a pretty important step in taking control. We all have thought "I'm never going to do that again" and still we find ourselves right back there again. For me, writing down what I was feeling when I had the binge and making a sort of plan of attack for the next time has really helped. Also not waiting until I'm hungry to have my next meal has helped tremendously. When I eat smaller frequent meals during the day, I don't have that strong over powering urge to reach for the chips and cookies. I don't know if you cook but taking the time to make a meal and truly enjoy the food you prepare takes the edge off for me too.

Again, good luck to you and just keep trying.

Tracy
 
What makes me go on a binge is baked goods. I can not have homemade goods in the house or I will binge. I made a banana creme pie with SF banana pudding and SF coolwhip with cut up bananas in it as a special treat(alot less calories than the real deal) but even that I started to binge on it so I just had to throw it away so I did not eat the whole thing:( Store bought sweets do not bother me it is only homemade stuff.
 
I suffer from it almost daily. I don't have any advice - just wanted to let you know I understand your plight. You aren't alone, and I do believe the cycle can be broken.
 
Mariah - interesting because I was watching Oprah (I know, I know) and she had a show on about women who had had gastric bypass surgery and now were drinking alcohol like they used to eat. It really is all related, isn't it. Her point was that people think that if they do one thing (lose weight, quit drinking...) then our whole world will change and when it really does not, instead of examining what caused the original behavior, we switch to something else.

Makes me realize that I really should find a good shrink to help me stop my own binging. Makes no sense that I am a successful 42 year old woman who cannot seem to lose these last 20 pounds. I know I'm sabatoging myself. One would think I would be beyond that now.
 
I have also heard that someone with additive personality will always have an "addiction" to something... while I am by no means an expert it find of made sense to me....

take me for example, I used to smoke & drink all the time, granted I was like 20-24 when I did this but typically when I'd go out drinking with friends it wasn't just one or two beers, I'd always drink until I was drunk & the bars were closing...

fast forward, I was flying back from CA on a business trip one day & had been out w/ clients the night before drinking & smoking-which I always smoked 10xs more when drinking... anyway so I was feeling like crap & decided I'd stop smoking...and I did. Now I am almost 30 & only drink every once in a while & never get "drunk" anymore.

But, now I'm "addicted" to working out & eating healthy... if I can't work out one day it seems like the end of the world, way back in my mind I know it isn't but I still can't help feeling that way. Same thing with food, it's like I have to eat healthy but if I screw up I may as well screw up big time!

Anyway, not sure this helped at all but I can relate where you are coming from & know that you aren't alone in this battle... the way I look at it is this... lets say you gain 5 or 10 lbs. it won't be the end of the world & you work out so you are healthier than most americans so give yourself some credit! :)
 
Doreen,
I was a binge eater for most of my life, and I've learned that for me, it's all physiological. I have come to realize that my body and brain react to simple sugars by craving more simple sugars. It would always start with something reasonably innocent like a bagel, or a muffin. I'd think well, this only has 300 calories, no problem. But the bagel would inevitably lead to a bag of cookies, crackers, or what have you, and thousands upon thousands more calories.

I rarely binge anymore! I'm still kind of amazed that it's no longer a problem. If you had asked me when I was in my twenties, I would never have believed it was possible to be where I am now. But it really didn't take much effort, just knowledge! I still eat carbs, but mostly complex carbs, like whole grain foods, oatmeal and beans. I mostly stay away from simple carbs, and I don't miss them. The only time I run into trouble now is when I go out to dinner and eat bread and drink wine. That starts the cravings again. But it happens so infrequently, it's not a problem.

Don't despair! I'm not one to deny myself anything, so believe me, if I can do it, anyone can. :D

Nancy
 
I found that I had to replace a "sugary" something after meals after I quit smoking. I needed to replace the nicotine with another kind of "kick". Since then, I have found myself sugar binging. I can "take or leave" any other food and not go crazy, but cookies, cake, ice cream, chocolate, etc., once I start I can't stop. Just last night I had 5 big cookies from 4:00pm until about 7:00. It started with one, then two, then three, then I felt bad and stopped until after dinner I had two more. Then I felt like "why did I bother working out today?" because I just replaced all those calories, plus some. When I am in the moment, there is no guilt, I just kind of "zone out". Then after when my stomach aches I always regret it. The bad thing is, it is becoming a daily occurance. If anyone has any advice on how they deal with the "zone out" part, I'd appreciate it. Thanks, and good luck!

Sally
 
For me it helps just not to have sweets in the house. I do fine as long as its not around. So if I want sweets, I have to make them myself. Sometimes I do and I end up eating more of whatever I made than anyone else. I dread when all of these girl scout cookies that my husband ordered come in. I told him not to order any but he ordered from more than one person, and he got the cookies I like!!! Help me Oprah Winfrey!!

Ashley
 
I also don't buy what I know will break me! I do buy low/calorie (one box or one item)snack/sweets for me a week and limit myself to one a day! it does help,and yes I binge probably once a week(try to keep it in servings and clean food too)!And feel really bad afterwords and kick up my workout the next day! The way I see it is,if Im going to pig out I'll have to pay for it! and I'm on ww and still loose like atleast a pd a week!

If its not effecting your weight,I wouldn't worry about it!:7
 
Hi...

I find that when I'm "craving" sweets or even "grazing" (too much -b/c grazing can be a good thing!), I know that I need to tune into my insides to see what's really going on. It's really a journey about respecting myself and my true needs.

I tend to be a highly anxious person -- always feeling the world's gonna eat me up unless I bar myself against it! So, growing up, eating (or "filling) was the easiest weapon for me. Think about it: eating grounds you (especially when it's emotional eating); It blocks those horrible feelings of confusion, boredom, anger, sadness, fear, etc. So, start finding other ways to "ground" yourself, to make yourself feel planted and secure.

And, sure, while I think certain edibles can affect highs and lows of hunger (sugar, caffeine, etc.), the real question is what do you truly need at the moment. Usually, it's rest for me. Just to lie down for 5 minutes. Stretch. And BREATHE. Or, I'm experiencing a feeling that reminds me of an old pattern or happening, and it hurts emotionally. So, same thing: rest, stretch and breathe.

Have you tried yoga? Or simple stretching? I think yoga is easy to mistake as a cool trend, but if you use the practice as a way to tune into your real self (starting from the inside out), it works wonders.

While I will ALWAYS suggest finding and sticking to a compassionate therapist who specializes in eating disorders, here are some book suggestions in the meantime:

Eating in the Light of the Moon - Anita Johnston

Sensing the Self - Sheila Reindl (even if you don't suffer from bulimia, this is a fantastic book)

Gosh, I already feel more calm about my day after writing this! Best to you!
 
I find that I binge, or at least fall off the healthy wagon, when I am out of my routine. When I am at work I eat quite healthy because there aren't any real opportunities to eat junk. I was at a birthday party last night however and I could not resist a slice of pizza, six wings, and a piece of cake. The best course of action for me to avoid getting off course. Otherwise I might devour a box of the over priced Girl Scout cookies.

I'm not a complex enough human to have "emotional eating" for the most part. I just like the taste "bad" food despite trying to reprogram my taste buds. I eat the apples and carrot sticks not because I find them tasty but because I know they are good for me. I tolerate them like I do a number of fruits and vegetables. I did quit all sugar for six months and it didn't stop the craving and enjoyment of it. About the only change I noticed is that I could not quite go sickening sweet anymore and I could eat just one of two cookies and be happy. I have to say that after reading these message boards I sort of developed a food paranoia because someone was always chiming in from somewhere to tell us a food that many of us enjoy is bad (dairy is evil, peanut butter has mold, sugar is the great satan, etc etc) When I indulged it made me think I was binging and I would be racked with guilt for having eaten the latest verboten food item. So at the end of the day, I have decided to strive to eat healthy (clean) 80% of the time. I will tune out the "noise" and use common sense when eating. With the right balance there is room for all types of foods. And I will continue trying to "reprogram" my taste buds to crave the healthy stuff more frequently. Who knew that one day I would become an asparagus junky or love sliced strawberries...that I want to eat whole grain breads and pastas and despise the white stuff. Hmmmmm food for thought :9
 
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