Babies?

[momoftwins]

What a wonderful question-
Okay.... I just wanted to let you know that I have tried to reply to this thread for two days but had so many interruptions that I could not. Motherhood-that's what it is all about. But truly I am joking...it really is much more than that.
I debated for about two years about the child issue. I did a lot of soul searching and asked a lot of questions too. It's great that you are asking the questions.
My husband, having cancer at the age of 27, lost all of his living sperm during treatment. He did freeze some sperm prior to treatment. Anyway, pregnancy for us was not only difficult, it was going to be a huge expense. At the age of 32 I decided it was now or never. If I didn't try, I would never know if it would happen for us. I was content being an aunt to five small children and teaching. Then I went through the fertility treatment-two months of shots and surgery. The treatment worked and it worked so well that the doctors thought I would have triplets. Anyway,they were wrong and it was "only twins".
Nine months later I gave birth to two beautiful,healthy children. Prior to the birth of my children my life was my job and my husband. After giving birth my life was my children and husband. Work was not an important issue anymore. I quickly surrendered my old life. The days of running into the supermarket were gone-now it was serious juggling to get into a market-one baby in a car seat in the front of the basket, the other in car seat in the child's seat.
Having children changed my life completely. Prior to children I knew all the Supreme Court Justices and how they viewed women issues and concerns. I was able to read the NY Times and think about the issues of the day. Now if I have time to read an article I am lucky. I do manage to exercise in the morning. Life changes, priorities shift, things that were so incredibly important to you don't matter anymore. Your life changes forever and it's wonderful. I hope that helps you. KB

 

[K60]

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON May-24-02 AT 06:06AM (Est)[/font][p]I knew by the time I was 13 years old I didn't ever want any kids. That was 29 years ago and I've never even been tempted, despite being married 14 years.

I'd rather have a full dental extraction than a kid. The time, the money, the commitment . . . . no thanks. Especially in this day and age.

I'm completely selfish but at least I was smart enough to realize it and not bring yet another unwanted, useless kid into the world.

I'm sure this view will not be popular, but I'm being honest. I don't like kids and have nothing in common with people who are parents by choice.

 

[RBurke]

Thanks for yout input. I often have many of the same feelings. I wouldn't really be considering children if it weren't for my husband. I've talked to so many people with children and a few that were child free by choice. It is hard for me to understand the magic the parents feel because I don't have children. I asked the doctor yesterday about it. He wants to start me on pre-natal vitamins and said to get off the pill now for a fall pregnancy. He gave me some magazines. I got home and totally freaked out. I cried and talked with my husband. I told him that I wasn't ready. I told him that I don't think I can be a good mom and that is more important than anything. It really should be about the child and the kind of life you can provide not whether or not you want a child to fill a need for yourself. I am trying my best to remember what would be best for a child. Sometimes, I just don't think it could possibly be me. But then again, my husband is great, I would have tons of help from family, I am sure I would love the child. I like most children in fact. I enjoy babies and playing with them. I like reading to them and holding them. When I keep them at church, I don't even mind if they cry. It's almost like this calm comes over me when I am with them and I am not a calm type person. I am classic Type A. I like watching children interact and such but I can't imagine doing all this myself. It feels so scary. I like my free time and money although my job is not really satisfying - it pays well. I like being thin and doing what I want. I am rambling. Last night I once again decided there is no way and this morning I am back to thinking maybe. I flip flop. I get scared then excited scared then excited scared then excited. I am conintuing to pray and looking to women who have children and have kept themselves important too (i.e. Cathe). I will keep you all posted. Thanks for all the input. I can really see both sides. I tend toward the child free understanding a lot more but I am considering all my options as my husband really wants kids. When we got married, I assumed I would want them. I didn't even question it until it became time to think about it due to age. I am also scared of all that is going on in the world now and wondering what kind of world this will be for a child. Would it even be fair for me to bring a child into this mess?