Does anyone have a family member/friend w/ autism? My 6 year old is still in pullups. He does go pee in the toilet , but only when it is flushing. We think it is because of the vibration/noise the water makes. Any potty training tips would be much appreciated. He will not go to the bathroom on his own. He has gone #2 once, but I think I just caught him at the right time. I am sitting him down every 45 minutes.
Autism
- Thread starter dhcsim
- Start date
jillybean
Cathlete
I would google this. My husband worked with autistic young adults and some of them wore Depends. I think it's a case by case basis and the level of autism as well as the readiness, anxiety of each individual person needs to be taken into account. There are also books on this subject. Again, I'd use google for this.
Jillybean-
A lot of habilitation/respit workers and therapists (speech,music,occupational)tell me how mellow he is. They all say that the autistic kids normally have some kind of agressive behavior ie: biting, pinching,scratching and hitting. Did your husband experience any of that? My son has never done that, even when he is mad. The only time he says mom is when he is upset.I would really like to hear him say "I love you". I know that in time the speech will come. He is really picking up on the sign language. My main goal is the potty.
A lot of habilitation/respit workers and therapists (speech,music,occupational)tell me how mellow he is. They all say that the autistic kids normally have some kind of agressive behavior ie: biting, pinching,scratching and hitting. Did your husband experience any of that? My son has never done that, even when he is mad. The only time he says mom is when he is upset.I would really like to hear him say "I love you". I know that in time the speech will come. He is really picking up on the sign language. My main goal is the potty.
We have a son, now 17, who is Autistic. Potty training was a nightmare, we conquered it around 5/6 years. We had to build a spreadsheet to track his "movements" and then plan on getting him to the bathroom so we'd get lucky. We bribed with M&Ms.
Although it is a heavy workload for you, move to cloth diapers and plastic pants. Today's disposable diapers make things too comfortable for the hesitant child.
Feel free to PM me on this and other Autism issues. We may be able to share our successes and lessons learned (aka "failures")
Our son is high functioning. Fully mainstreamed junior in high school. He communicates well, verbally and in writing. He is an Eagle Scout, a yellow belt in Karate and is learning to drive. He didn't start talking until 5.
If you haven't already, get on board with your local education system, the earlier your son gets started, the higher he will advance.
As I said feel free to communicate with me.
Dave
Although it is a heavy workload for you, move to cloth diapers and plastic pants. Today's disposable diapers make things too comfortable for the hesitant child.
Feel free to PM me on this and other Autism issues. We may be able to share our successes and lessons learned (aka "failures")
Our son is high functioning. Fully mainstreamed junior in high school. He communicates well, verbally and in writing. He is an Eagle Scout, a yellow belt in Karate and is learning to drive. He didn't start talking until 5.
If you haven't already, get on board with your local education system, the earlier your son gets started, the higher he will advance.
As I said feel free to communicate with me.
Dave
Hi Heather,
My oldest, Ben, is autistic. He turned 19 (impossible to believe!) in April and your post brought me back. It was 1st grade when B. started to 'get it' about the toilet but wasn't out of pull-ups during the day until 2nd grade. (He wasn't dry at nite for several yrs. later). He seemed to just act like, "I'm done w/ the pull-ups now." And it was no picnic trying to get his younger brother Nick out of diapers: "But Ben doesn't wear big boy pants" . . . . .AUGH!
All children are different, but the day will come when your son will be ready to leave Planet pull-up behind! My prayers are with you,
Valerie
My oldest, Ben, is autistic. He turned 19 (impossible to believe!) in April and your post brought me back. It was 1st grade when B. started to 'get it' about the toilet but wasn't out of pull-ups during the day until 2nd grade. (He wasn't dry at nite for several yrs. later). He seemed to just act like, "I'm done w/ the pull-ups now." And it was no picnic trying to get his younger brother Nick out of diapers: "But Ben doesn't wear big boy pants" . . . . .AUGH!
All children are different, but the day will come when your son will be ready to leave Planet pull-up behind! My prayers are with you,
Valerie
Hi Heather,
My 12 year old twins are both Autistic and I remember trying to potty train them...it seemed like forever before they got it...I think we were fully potty trained at 4 1/2, however the boys both still have urine accidents frequently at home and at school. It seems as if we wore pull-ups to bed until age 5 or 6.
Heather,do you mind if I ask at what age was your son diagnosed, and what types of behavior led to the diagnosis?
I completely agree with Dave!!! The earlier the intervention the better the outcome for the child...we went to a very small private school for the first 3 years..we went to the public school for Kindergarten and I was told that the boys were too young
(5 years old) and the teachers were unable to control the boys in the classroom. Therefore my boys missed out on many years of speech therapy, Social skills training and many other important things.
My boys are going into 6th grade this year which is at the Middle school...I am very nervous and worried about them as they have many issues!! This past year was not too bad, they both had their issues this year but most of the issues were controlled by the teachers and the classroom assistants
I have 3 boys in all the twins Calvin and Spencer and Braden who is 9,
and even my 9 year old has a severe learning disorder, he was recently ruled out for Fragile X syndrome, chromosomal abnormalities
and metabolic disorders. Has anyone had their Autistic child checked for Fragile X syndrome??
It is nice to know that there are other parents on this forum that are also dealing with Autistic children. I often times feel very sad for my boys when I hear people at work talk about their children, and all the incredible things that they are doing....knowing that my boys will never be able to do those things...
My 12 year old twins are both Autistic and I remember trying to potty train them...it seemed like forever before they got it...I think we were fully potty trained at 4 1/2, however the boys both still have urine accidents frequently at home and at school. It seems as if we wore pull-ups to bed until age 5 or 6.
Heather,do you mind if I ask at what age was your son diagnosed, and what types of behavior led to the diagnosis?
I completely agree with Dave!!! The earlier the intervention the better the outcome for the child...we went to a very small private school for the first 3 years..we went to the public school for Kindergarten and I was told that the boys were too young
(5 years old) and the teachers were unable to control the boys in the classroom. Therefore my boys missed out on many years of speech therapy, Social skills training and many other important things.
My boys are going into 6th grade this year which is at the Middle school...I am very nervous and worried about them as they have many issues!! This past year was not too bad, they both had their issues this year but most of the issues were controlled by the teachers and the classroom assistants
I have 3 boys in all the twins Calvin and Spencer and Braden who is 9,
and even my 9 year old has a severe learning disorder, he was recently ruled out for Fragile X syndrome, chromosomal abnormalities
and metabolic disorders. Has anyone had their Autistic child checked for Fragile X syndrome??
It is nice to know that there are other parents on this forum that are also dealing with Autistic children. I often times feel very sad for my boys when I hear people at work talk about their children, and all the incredible things that they are doing....knowing that my boys will never be able to do those things...
Denise,
My autistic son, Ben, 19, is my oldest. I have 16 yr. old Nick (who's in Japan right now w/ www.studentambassadors.org) and 14 yr. old Audrey. Both are good students, athletes and musicians. Even w/ all they've been blessed w/ in terms of abilities, my heart aches for Ben and how life is so difficult for him. I don't think that ever goes away for parents and sometimes I worry my other 2 feel they have to 'make up' for Ben.
Ben is very limited verbally and has a lot of sensory and behavior issues. Early intervention is a wonderful thing. He was 2 1/2 when dx'd and started a special pre-school. Later, we lived in Vt. where he was in a regular classroom w/ f/t paraprofessional support, till we moved to NY (Orange county) when he was in 4th grade. Now he's in a program specifically designed for folks w/ autism (based on the TEACCH program at UNC Chapel Hill). While inclusion was great for so many reasons, I think Ben would have been further along had he been in this setting earlier. Live and learn, just like w/ 'normal' kids. We figure out this parenting thing as we go . . . .
Valerie
My autistic son, Ben, 19, is my oldest. I have 16 yr. old Nick (who's in Japan right now w/ www.studentambassadors.org) and 14 yr. old Audrey. Both are good students, athletes and musicians. Even w/ all they've been blessed w/ in terms of abilities, my heart aches for Ben and how life is so difficult for him. I don't think that ever goes away for parents and sometimes I worry my other 2 feel they have to 'make up' for Ben.
Ben is very limited verbally and has a lot of sensory and behavior issues. Early intervention is a wonderful thing. He was 2 1/2 when dx'd and started a special pre-school. Later, we lived in Vt. where he was in a regular classroom w/ f/t paraprofessional support, till we moved to NY (Orange county) when he was in 4th grade. Now he's in a program specifically designed for folks w/ autism (based on the TEACCH program at UNC Chapel Hill). While inclusion was great for so many reasons, I think Ben would have been further along had he been in this setting earlier. Live and learn, just like w/ 'normal' kids. We figure out this parenting thing as we go . . . .
Valerie
Your boys are doing amazing things too. Try not to compare against other children as every child has strong and weak points.
I know the organization has come under attack, but the Boy Scouts usually work great with "special kids" (God I hate that term). It can vary troop to troop. Our son really thrived socially, he's given speeches and presentations at meetings. This summer he's a paid counselor at a Scout camp teaching wilderness survival. Please check it out for your boys.
We had our son checked for Fragile X early on and he was negative.
Last month we broke down and had him checked for Mercury poisoning. It was an expensive test, blood and urine. After the media barrage about Thimerisol in vaccines we felt we had to know, but his mercury levels were very low, so that wasn't the cause in our son.
We tried vitamin therapy, we tried the acoustical "tweaking" that was described in "The Sound of a Miracle." We've been very aggresive.
The toughest year of our lives was the year we made our son develop language. We basically had to ignore him until he used (or tried to use) words. Have you ever tried to have a meal with a child screaming, tantruming and gesturing for what he wants? It practically killed us.
My prayers are with you my fellow parents of challenged kids. I'll close with following "prayer" that I say before every IEP meeting!
Grant me:
...the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
...the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off
And also help me to careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass I have to kiss tomorrow.
Dave
I know the organization has come under attack, but the Boy Scouts usually work great with "special kids" (God I hate that term). It can vary troop to troop. Our son really thrived socially, he's given speeches and presentations at meetings. This summer he's a paid counselor at a Scout camp teaching wilderness survival. Please check it out for your boys.
We had our son checked for Fragile X early on and he was negative.
Last month we broke down and had him checked for Mercury poisoning. It was an expensive test, blood and urine. After the media barrage about Thimerisol in vaccines we felt we had to know, but his mercury levels were very low, so that wasn't the cause in our son.
We tried vitamin therapy, we tried the acoustical "tweaking" that was described in "The Sound of a Miracle." We've been very aggresive.
The toughest year of our lives was the year we made our son develop language. We basically had to ignore him until he used (or tried to use) words. Have you ever tried to have a meal with a child screaming, tantruming and gesturing for what he wants? It practically killed us.
My prayers are with you my fellow parents of challenged kids. I'll close with following "prayer" that I say before every IEP meeting!
Grant me:
...the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
...the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off
And also help me to careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass I have to kiss tomorrow.
Dave
Pedmom
Cathlete
Heather, good points have been made already. I just wanted to concur that each child is different. My son (almost 13 now) took his own sweet time deciding to use the toilet! He was about 8 when he started, and not fully day-trained until about age 10. By fully-trained I mean absolutely no "accidents" during the day; he was using the toilet about 90% of the time after age 9. He still wears a pullup to bed at night, and some mornings is dry. I hope someday he'll be able to forego the night time diaper, but I'm happy that he is not reliant on it during the day.
Patience is tough, we all know that much! Good luck to you and I hope he decideds the toilet is not scary or something.
Jill
Patience is tough, we all know that much! Good luck to you and I hope he decideds the toilet is not scary or something.
Jill
Hi Heather,
My best friend and his wife have 5 year old son who is Autistic. I shared this thread with him and he asked if I'd post this response. He said he'd be happy to help with any questions you had. If you want to contact him, send me a PM and I'll get you his email address.
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What worked for us:
If he's young enough to not care that his bottom half is naked, we removed his pants completely and dealt with cleaning up when he pee'd or pooped on the floor. We also involved him in the cleanup by having him watch us clean up and put it in the toilet - expressing, without anger but firmly, that he had gone in the wrong place. There was something about not having that "safety net" of clothing on his body - watching his pee stream out onto the floor connected with him that it couldn't be a good thing. If you are squeamish or have white carpet and/or are obsessive about spots on it, this may not be a method you would want to try. But it worked for us. He is a high-functioning Autistic 5-year old but his verbal skills are 40% delayed. He was potty-trained at 3 with this method. He does still wear a pull-up at night.
JC
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My best friend and his wife have 5 year old son who is Autistic. I shared this thread with him and he asked if I'd post this response. He said he'd be happy to help with any questions you had. If you want to contact him, send me a PM and I'll get you his email address.
*********************************************************
What worked for us:
If he's young enough to not care that his bottom half is naked, we removed his pants completely and dealt with cleaning up when he pee'd or pooped on the floor. We also involved him in the cleanup by having him watch us clean up and put it in the toilet - expressing, without anger but firmly, that he had gone in the wrong place. There was something about not having that "safety net" of clothing on his body - watching his pee stream out onto the floor connected with him that it couldn't be a good thing. If you are squeamish or have white carpet and/or are obsessive about spots on it, this may not be a method you would want to try. But it worked for us. He is a high-functioning Autistic 5-year old but his verbal skills are 40% delayed. He was potty-trained at 3 with this method. He does still wear a pull-up at night.
JC
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To everyone that replied to this post.
My son started special ed preschool at the age of about 3 and a half. His teacher went w/ me to every appointment to inform "future parents" of what went on. He did have the fragile X syndrome test and it came back negative. They also gave him an EEG (taping wires to his head and monitoring brain waves), that also came up negative. They diagnosed him as autistic because he is:non verbal, does lots of stimming and most of the time acts like there is nobody else in the room w/ him. The Dr.s described autism to me as a chemical imbalance in the brain and also they said it is like standing in the middle of the road and the cars are going by at 100 mph.He will be getting his augmentative device in 2 weeks, but I want his main form of communication to be sign language. He is picking up on that pretty well. He is at a point now where he will acknowledge when you are speaking to him, but is still non verbal. I have no problem if he has accidents on the floor as Home Depot just tiled the entire downstairs. He will "grab" that area when he is going #1 or #2, but does not go to the bathroom. I have to lock the bathroom doors or I will find him straddling the toilet completely dressed and flushing away. This week his fixation is water. I thought they were supposed to be afraid of heights? Isaac will jump freely on the bed w/out holding onto anything.
Gayle and dlavie- I will be pming you.
My son started special ed preschool at the age of about 3 and a half. His teacher went w/ me to every appointment to inform "future parents" of what went on. He did have the fragile X syndrome test and it came back negative. They also gave him an EEG (taping wires to his head and monitoring brain waves), that also came up negative. They diagnosed him as autistic because he is:non verbal, does lots of stimming and most of the time acts like there is nobody else in the room w/ him. The Dr.s described autism to me as a chemical imbalance in the brain and also they said it is like standing in the middle of the road and the cars are going by at 100 mph.He will be getting his augmentative device in 2 weeks, but I want his main form of communication to be sign language. He is picking up on that pretty well. He is at a point now where he will acknowledge when you are speaking to him, but is still non verbal. I have no problem if he has accidents on the floor as Home Depot just tiled the entire downstairs. He will "grab" that area when he is going #1 or #2, but does not go to the bathroom. I have to lock the bathroom doors or I will find him straddling the toilet completely dressed and flushing away. This week his fixation is water. I thought they were supposed to be afraid of heights? Isaac will jump freely on the bed w/out holding onto anything.
Gayle and dlavie- I will be pming you.
I have a nephew that sounds a lot like your son. My nephew is 10. He's the sweetest kid, like your son, very laid back and mellow. My SIL works with autistic kids and tells us about typical agressive behaviour they can develop.
My SIL started using sign language with him at a early age and he prefers to communicate this way, although his communication with anyone is limited. She has been working hard to get him more verbal, having him use words when he wants something. He stims on visual stuff, patterns and things like that. He will happily line things up all day but she will limit the things that he tends to over-stim on. And flushing the toilet! That went on for months. It was the visual of the swirling water. That toilet was flushed a lot!
My nephew is still in pull up type of protection. He has come a long way and will tell you (pull your arm) when he has to go, but is not accident free. My SIL takes him to the bathroom about every hour when they're home and this is how she has trained him. She would be a LOT more helpful than me, I was just chiming in to relate some of the similarities. The range of autism is so broad though, everyone is different.
My SIL started using sign language with him at a early age and he prefers to communicate this way, although his communication with anyone is limited. She has been working hard to get him more verbal, having him use words when he wants something. He stims on visual stuff, patterns and things like that. He will happily line things up all day but she will limit the things that he tends to over-stim on. And flushing the toilet! That went on for months. It was the visual of the swirling water. That toilet was flushed a lot!
My nephew is still in pull up type of protection. He has come a long way and will tell you (pull your arm) when he has to go, but is not accident free. My SIL takes him to the bathroom about every hour when they're home and this is how she has trained him. She would be a LOT more helpful than me, I was just chiming in to relate some of the similarities. The range of autism is so broad though, everyone is different.
ducky- Thanks for you rresponse. Is you SIL the provider for your nephew? I was offered that position w/ my son Isaac, but I don't think I would be able to do it. W/ the sign language, Isaac will do the sign once perfectly and then after that you get 1/2 the sign from him. He figures that if your going to finish the sign for him, then he'll let you. Food is a GREAT motivater (sp?). Isaac will eat everything, except for fresh fruit. In the fruit, he will only eat a banana. You give him anything electronic ie:gameboy, vcr,dvd player,etc. and Isaac teaches himself how to use it. I bought those big plastic pullout type drawers at wal-mart and put his stuff in it for the therapists who work w/ him. In one is nothing but his chunky cars. He will line them up bumper to bumper or side to side. The other day , they were side to side, but also upside down.LOL.My GF had a foster brother who had asperger's syndrome. He had a deck of 150 Charlie's Angels cards. If you took one out of the deck, he could tell you exactly which one you had. Does your nephew have any ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder)? Isaac used to have to "tap" the banister at the bottom of the stairs before he went up and then at the top before he continued on. In the bathtub, every time I used the cup to rinse his hair, he would tap the place where the soap went. These ocd's lasted for one week only and then I never saw them since. We finally got him to bounce any type of ball back to us about 4 times. After that, he will cover his ears because of the noise. It doesn't matter if you bounce it on, linoleum (sp?), carpet , tile or concrete.
Sorry for the long post. I could talk about Isaac all day.
Sorry for the long post. I could talk about Isaac all day.
You're lucky you can use food as a motivator! My nephew (reese) will only eat a few foods, and they aren't healthy foods. My SIL actually works in speech pathology with autistic kids, so she is not his teacher/provider but she is very involved.
Reese's obsession is lining things up so they are just right in his mind. The curtains, the furniture, everything. His favorite is pop cans. He will sit and stare so intently and quietly, getting himself aligned just right with things (the trees in the yard, the fence, the curtains etc). I always wonder what things look like to him. I'm sure they look very different than they would look to me or anyone else. And for Reese, nothing else exists, there are no distractions when he is lining up his world. These obsessions don't last a week, they have been part of him from the beginning. I think it is better when obsessions are limited in how long they last, like with Issac. They are experiencing and processing more of the world that way. It sounds like Issac is higher functioning than reese in this regard.
I think autism is very interesting. The range of abilities is so wide but they all have a unique way of processing information. One common thread with autism is difficulty in connecting socially with others. Difficulty in relationships. My oldest son had some of these problems when he was younger. Communication problems and staying focused in school. His teachers were baffled by his behaviour and requested that he be tested. It turned out that he is very high IQ, and many behaviour issues mimicked autism. I think this correlation is interesting too. Just some thoughts.
Reese's obsession is lining things up so they are just right in his mind. The curtains, the furniture, everything. His favorite is pop cans. He will sit and stare so intently and quietly, getting himself aligned just right with things (the trees in the yard, the fence, the curtains etc). I always wonder what things look like to him. I'm sure they look very different than they would look to me or anyone else. And for Reese, nothing else exists, there are no distractions when he is lining up his world. These obsessions don't last a week, they have been part of him from the beginning. I think it is better when obsessions are limited in how long they last, like with Issac. They are experiencing and processing more of the world that way. It sounds like Issac is higher functioning than reese in this regard.
I think autism is very interesting. The range of abilities is so wide but they all have a unique way of processing information. One common thread with autism is difficulty in connecting socially with others. Difficulty in relationships. My oldest son had some of these problems when he was younger. Communication problems and staying focused in school. His teachers were baffled by his behaviour and requested that he be tested. It turned out that he is very high IQ, and many behaviour issues mimicked autism. I think this correlation is interesting too. Just some thoughts.