Are Today's Weddings All About The Money??

That's ridiculous! I've never been to a wedding like that...never even heard of that! YIKES! :eek:

I got married 3 years ago and had a wonderful wedding that was WITHIN OUR BUDGET! I only purchased ONE wedding gown and there was NO begging/extorting/complaining going on at ours! Everyone had a blast...INCLUDING DH and myself! I don't regret it one bit! :)
 
I think there are as many different types of weddings as there are people. Some people do things in a classy way, and others do things in a garrish way, and everything in between. These people have bad taste. They'll probably live in a McMansion, own flashy cars, have no savings, and never be considerate hosts. But, no, fortunately, I don't think this is a general trend. There are still plenty of couples out there having tasteful, classy weddings. Thank goodness!
-Nancy
 
Reading all of these responses reminded me of how my brother behaved at my wedding versus his. He didn't even get my husband and I a card or a gift. However, when he got married I was expected (not asked) to be in the bridal party, shell out money to travel halfway across the country to attend the wedding, and a gift. I've never gotten a thank you from him or his wife.

When his wife's brother died last fall, my DH and I sent flowers and again, got no thank you.

I recently found out that my sister in law didn't send any thank you notes for any of her wedding gifts. Wow :eek:

Heather
 
Needless to say...I won't be holding my breath for a thank you from this couple.

I am still just in shock at what they did at that reception.

One wedding guest told me of a wedding they were at were the best man auctioned off the bride and groom champagne glasses during the dance. Of course waiting for the guests to be full of booze so they would be zealous with their bidding.

And another lady told me a similar story to you, Cheryl. They were at a wedding where the flower girl went around to all the tables during the meal asking for money and carrying her flower basket to put the bills in.

What the heck is the matter with people these days?!?!!!
 
>One wedding guest told me of a wedding they were at were the
>best man auctioned off the bride and groom champagne glasses
>during the dance.

I told a colleague of mine about this wedding reception, and the raffling off of the garter, and he suggested they raffle off "turns" with the bride and/or groom. Why not? They seem to be selling everything else! (He also mentioned that traditionally, the bride tosses the garter--for free!--to the single men. Did they also auction off the bouquet? Or maybe they forgot to!)
 
They could charge for a buffet, just like a restaurant. Cake would be extra, of course!

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Mark Twain ;-)
 
UGH that is so awful & tacky. Jeez, when I got married we eloped & spent our (very limited) money on our honeymoon.

And to make matters worse, we didn't get any gifts at all b/c we eloped (except from my parents--his did nothing). Turns out eloping offends people. Weird, b/c the day is not all about them, it's supposed to be about the bride & groom.

Anyway, I don't give money at weddings & would certainly never participate in a raffle for a garter (WTF would I do w/another bride's garter? Gimme a break!).

I always buy an authentic dreamcatcher as a wedding gift. It has meaning & I'm always pretty sure it won't be a duplicate.
 
I'm in total agreement with everything you said! And yeah, we wondered too why they stopped with the garter and not add a raffle for the bouquet. Apparently there must have been ONE family member with a twinge of conscience and decided raffling the bouquet was taking it too far.

I'm telling you, it was the brazen method's they used to get people to cough up the money for the raffle tickets. The entire wedding party split up into teams of 2-3 people and then they started descending on the guests like street thugs and they would not take NO for an answer when someone wouldn't put money in. Of course they were attacking all the men at the tables and I finally lost my temper with the whole business and told the three idiots at our table to get their F-ing money grubbing hands off of my husband. The bridesmaids were helping the cause by sticking their breasts into the faces of the men while the groomsmen manhandled the guy to get him to get his wallet out. It was quite a scene and I hope I never see it again at a wedding or anyplace else. The entire room was in an uproar while this was going on. It was unbelievable.
 
I've been avoiding this thread because you just don't even want to get me started on the topic. Talk about unbridled greed! I have not witnessed this particular infraction of wedding etiquette, but I've seen things that come close, very close to it.

The thing is, these immature, greedy people will probably be divorced in a couple of years. You can't build a strong healthy marriage on a shaky foundation. Couples go into major debt just to have a big party...it's ridiculous!

Thank you notes!? Forget about it! I don't remember the last time I got a thank you note from a newlywed. Someone mentioned wedding etiquette in another post. Proper etiquette dictates that gifts NOT be expected at all. Weddings are not supposed to be about the gifts, yet I haven't seen a bridal registry in recent years that doesn't include major household items like plasma TV's and pieces of furniture! AND, as if that's not bad enough, many people now have "formal" weddings and you're expected to show up in evening wear.

Just out of curiosity, what do you suppose it costs you to attend a wedding from start to finish. Let's see, there's the bridal shower (if you were unfortunate enough to be invited to that, too), possibly a new outfit (especially if it requires evening attire), the wedding gift, possible travel and hotel expenses, and if kids aren't allowed you may need a sitter. It just doesn't end.

Michele
 
Just to add on this wedding I will attend - the wedding where friends collected enough money to pay for the couples honeymoon but were not invited to the reception....(because that would cost the bride n groom more money that they cannot afford).
The bride also has nine or ten bridesmaids. She is holding the wedding reception at some finer hotel in the city (I wont say what city should the odd chance she reads this!).
I mentioned this subject, raffle tickets at a wedding to others and we agree that this bride would not be beyond that. However I doubt she would raffle her garter but I bet she would raffler her bouquet and whatever else she could sell off.
-She bought her dress from Ebay.
-She is not going to buy her ten bridesmaids a gift due her financial problems (she has bills like the rest of us but nothing major).
-No drink at the wedding but you can bring it you like and share it.
-There is a bbq at her moms house for those who weren't invited to the reception - two days after the wedding when most guests have gone home (by car plane or train)
-Her invite had said that she would really like a cash gift instead of something from the store. Adding that she and her new hubby are broke but if you cannot afford to give her cash just your presense is good enough (right!).

I will have to let you know if anything was raffled off. But honestly, I think I will hold strong and not donate to a raffle (unless it is for charity - outside of the charity of the bride and groom) I will just say 'not interested'. I have no respect for ppl like this.

Can you say ELOPE?
 
WOW! I am actually getting married next week, and I guess now I can think of myself as a classy chick since it never occurred to me to milk my guests for everything they are worth! Also, I have already begun writing my thank you notes. Where do you think people get ideas like these? Have we decided that there is no value to etiquette anymore?
 
Ann Marie, a dream catcher is this kind of spider-webby looking thing made by American Indians--usually they also have beads & feathers intertwined.

You're supposed to hang it over your bed & it catches the bad dreams & only lets the good dreams through.

Like I said--it means something. It's my favorite wedding gift. :)
 
I haven't posted here in so long, but I can't help but reply to this topic. The weddings of today are such a pet peeve of mine, and all these posts prove my point. It's all about the money and "status". Milk your guests anyway you can, and make sure you top all your friends weddings. It truly disgusts me! Remember in the good old day, you fell in love and got married? Now it's all about who has the bigger rock, who has the most expensive designer gown, who has the costly Vera Wang bridesmaids dresses, who has the most lavish reception.

I think the selling of raffle tickets is tacky & disgusting! I've never seen that at a wedding, ever. I have seen a bride change into a more comfortable dress for the reception, but the raffle tickets is something I hope I never see!

We all agree that weddings are blown out of porportion...but what about being a bridesmaid these days? It can cost you thousands of dollars! You're expected to buy a designer bridesmaids dress ($300+), shoes, throw a lavish bridal shower AND have a weekend long bachelorette party at a lavish spa. The last wedding one of my friends was in cost her over $2,000.00!! It's disgusting how the bride expects her bridesmaids to fork over all that money. I think etiquette rules should change - the bride & groom should cover the cost of the tux rentals and bridesmaids dresses. Anyone agree w/me??
 
Daisy, ITA.

I can't stand the whole crazy wedding thing. DH and I got married two years ago. It cost us a total of $800 dollars and people still tell us how great it was! It was November so we rented a heated tent and had it erected over our back deck, which is fairly big. DH's ex-girfriend, who's a minister, married us. What a blast it was!!

Personally I think these weddings are an offshoot of the current self-absorbed depth of hell so many people are wallowing in (how's that for a convoluted sentence!). They consider themselves the center of the universe and expect that everyone else does too.

Sparrow

ETA: the thought of having someone else's garter is just plain icky.

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
>Personally I think these weddings are an offshoot of the
>current self-absorbed depth of hell so many people are
>wallowing in (how's that for a convoluted sentence!). They
>consider themselves the center of the universe and expect that
>everyone else does too.

Well said, and so true!
 
Maybe future Hallmark cards should read:

Congratulations on your wedding/charity event. We are happy to give you a gift and donation to your affair.
 
>. . . and should you not remain married for longer than 5
>years, then I expect my "donation" back with interest. }(

Please, my cousin was engaged to this guy, with whom she already had kids, I went to the shower toting a very nice bagel toaster combo thingee, only to receive a note in the mail not a week later reading "So sorry to inform you that the wedding between XXX and XXX will not be taking place." Turns out my cousin was having several liasons with other men and her fiancee found out. I thought for sure she - or my aunt! - would return the gifts but nope, she kept every last one. For a while I felt like going over there every morning in my robe and popping a bagel in. Whole wheat, of course :7

I want my nice bagel toaster combo thingee back, gol dang it. People are shameless.

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
I believe the wedding cost issue is a result of the seed that is planted during High School Prom. Where are people's values? Blow all that dough on some "cinderella" event that lasts a few hours.

I was glad to see that principal in NJ blow the whistle on the prom, told everyone to come back to reality or fuggedabout it, (soory had to do the Jersey accent)

My wife and were easy on her parents, homemade dress, small buffet reception, our marriage is still strong going on 26 years. Other relatives went for all that "bling" and didn't make it to a decade.

The Romans complained too "O tempore, O mores" (the times, the morals).

dave
 
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