Anyone Convinced Someone Else to Lose Weight?

[sparrow]

We all know that people have to motivate themselves, but has anyone ever convinced an overweight friend to commit to being healthy? I have a dear friend that I have known since grad school. Except for one brief time of about a year she has always been overweight. It's getting worse as she gets older. Right now she is 5ft 1in and almost 200 pounds. Now, she knows she's overweight, and says that she wants to lose. She's forever joining a new gym, trying a new eating plan or getting ready to jump on the latest diet pill band wagon, though so far I have talked her out of pills. Her plans usually last about a month and then she goes back to her old habits. She says her knees hurt, or she has a cold, or the weather isn't good (she lives in CA!) or it's too hard to maintain, etc. I've tried to help anyway I can - if we lived near each other I'd pull her out of bed every morning - but we're 3000 miles apart. I've encouraged, listened, advised, sent articles, loaned books, even tried to tell her that maybe she's truly happy heavy and not to worry so much. (I thought if she relaxed about it it might happen for her). So, what's left? Has anyone ever said anything that moved a friend or family member to take care of his or her body?

Sparrow

 

[ldy_solana]

i usually don't say anything unless the other person speaks up first. it seems like you did the best YOU could in supporting her so there is nothing left you can do. its all up to your friend now. if she continues to say anything about her weight just remind her that the only way to lose it is to move it,nicely of course. you can't do it for her you can only provide the tools and ideas to get there.

i tried this with my relatives and pretty much i gave up and said when you are ready to get serious you give me a call. nobody has rung my phone off the hook yet.



kassia



When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it -- Bernard Bailey

 

[lisaannjam]

Hi Sparrow,

What a great friend you are! I believe you have done everything that you possibly can at every opportunity that afforded itself to you.

My younger sister and I have always watched what we ate and exercised from the time we were young. My mother always reinforced that with us. However, my younger brother has always, always, been obese (at times morbidly obese). My mom always let him eat fast food and all the junk he wanted to eat. It was very strange as my mom would feed my Sis and me veggies and let us know if we were up three pounds, and yet she aided my brother with his obesity....sorry, I digress.

Since I'm a personal trainer my brother came to me about a year ago and asked me to put him on a good nutritional diet and exercise plan. Guess what...he has lost 50 pounds so far. It's truly remarkable. He fills out his food and exercise logs that I've supplied to him and e-mails them to me, along with any questions he has. He was ready to make the life changes and commit to them. I have given him infinite support and love, but that's all we can really do. I really think they have to be ready to do it.

I work with a lot of morbidly obese people and I find starting them them off slowly with small goals has really worked out for the best. They achieve those small goals and then really become dedicated and hopeful as they see results and then they just "take off" with a healthy diet and exercise.

We all encouraged my brother through the years to please try to lose weight as we were very concerned for his health. It feel on deaf ears sometimes and other times he tried but then had a lot of excuses to stop. When he was ready, I was there with the tools for him and he did it.

You are doing everything that you can. When your friend is truly ready, I'm sure you'll be right there with all the tools and the support.

 

[lindadrobinson]

Your friend has to be ready to commit to changing her lifestyle. It is like a person in drug/alcohol rehab, they can go but if they are NOT COMMITTED to changing their lifestyles, etc. it will not work. I would stop preaching to her, because one day she will wake up and realize that she must commit to changing her lifestyle or she will die an early death. And alot of times it is the doctor that ends up being blunt and straight to the point. When she is ready, be there with open arms to help her. Many of us on these boards have been there, done that and know it is one day, one workout, at a time.

 

[nancy324]

"I work with a lot of morbidly obese people and I find starting them them off slowly with small goals has really worked out for the best. They achieve those small goals and then really become dedicated and hopeful as they see results and then they just "take off" with a healthy diet and exercise."

I think that what Lisa says is the key. Not just for obese people, but for all of us in anything we try to do. Setting small goals and reaching them is SOOO motivating. Seeing results, no matter how small, can really keep you going.

But aside from that, I think everyone is so different. When I was young my pediatrician told me I was fat (actually I was only few lbs. overweight) and it set off years of awful eating disorders, gaining 50 lbs., then losing 70. Then years of anorexia. My stepson, on the other hand, was totally motivated by the tough love approach of his doctor and lost 110 lbs. It's so very individual.

-Nancy

 

[lisaannjam]

Wow Nancy, thank you so much for sharing that with us. I think so many of us are told that we are overweight (or sometimes simply not thin enough) as young girls and it does indeed have a profound effect on us for the rest of our lives in one way or another.

I too, was anorexic for many, many years. I think I will always fight that voice in my head saying you're not thin enough. And I know I'm not alone, as so many brave women here have shared their experiences.

Good for you for having such a positive and HEALTHY attitude!! Whenever I read your posts, I always get the impression that health if your number one priority.

And I agree, it is a very individual thing with weight and weight loss.