Another possible premenopause discussion--has any of yo...

M

mariep

Cathlete
Hi, everyone--

I've been wondering lately if I'm entering a premenopausal phase. I'll be turning 40 in August. My cycles have always been very regular and still are. But lately, I've been much more aware of how I'm feeling at different points in my cycle. The PMS, usually starting about halfway through my cycle, or actually closer to the last week of the cycle, has been more intense. And the good feelings I get once I get my period seem better. However, just last month, I felt really good throughout the whole cycle. The PMS was virtually non-existent. But now this month, I never got that "good" feeling I get once my period finally arrives, and it almost feels like I've been PMSing for the whole month!x( I've even felt bloated for the whole month, which I usually only do for the couple of days to a week before I get my period. Have you experienced anything like this?

I hope this makes sense! Thanks for any thoughts you might have!

-Marie:)
 
Yes Marie. I feel like this many months. It has been with me now for the last 4 years. Some months are OK, and I am surprised by my period starting because I was expecting two weeks of hell first and they never arrived. But unfortunately, mostly I feel totally shitty, to the point of locking myself away and shunning people and life, for up to 2 weeks of every month. And yippee, that's what I am in right now. Hardly a good word to say to anyone. Just waiting for time to pass so I can be me again. My husband is holding his breath. I think he's quietly glad he was not born female.

I took antidepressants for this two years ago, with excellent results. I took them again recently, with less success on this front. God knows why.

A lot of women I know complain that in their mid to late thirties, they change, they experience so much menstrual mishap and discomfort with PMS, whether or not you have had kids. I would say that probably, yes, you are already in the throes of fluctuating hormone levels. From what I have read also, it may be that you have begun to skip ovulations. If your body does not actually ovulate on a given month, you still have a period, but no luteal phase, the phase which follows egg release, therefore there's no progesterone production and you remain estrogen dominant. This will have its effect, one of which is, I believe, the tendency to remain bloated for longer. I sincerely believe this has been happening to me for quite some time now. I am seeking help for it from a gynecolofgist, just as soon as my PCP tells me the date of my referral. I'm desperate!

Autumn is our resident female reproductive system expert and can fill you in more on this. Many doctors say that taking a low dose BC pill could help regulate your cycle and keep things on a more even keel. You might think about it. And as long as you don't smoke, you should be OK with this.

Others will tell you to treat this via diet: Vit B6, evening primrose oil, soy products, extra calcium. Well, maybe, but I have tried all of them and still take them all and there's been no relief whatsoever. I'm beyond dietary resoluations. And heading way beyond sanity also (;( , x( ).

If I have anything more to add on the subject, I'll let you know. Personally, I wish I could live forever in the week after my period. Then, life just rocks!

Clare
 
Hi Marie! There have been some good discussions lately on our hormonal changes and woes. It's always nice to hear that other's are experiencing the same things. I don't have anything else to add as Clare described it very well. I'm 46 and started noticing dramatic changes when I turned 40 (actually I was probably 38 but started really taking note of the changes at 40).

What you are describing is what I experience as well and like Clare described, there are times I, too, would rather lock myself up. Some months are better than others. Several months will be symptom free and then several months will be real hum-dingers! Make little notes to yourself in a calendar. You might start noticing a definite trend in your cycles. The hard times become a little more manageable as you notice the symptoms. It's a little different for each of us. I vowed to myself that I would not put my family through what my mom put us through! I think I've handled it pretty well, so far. Looking forward to the day I actually enter menopause.

Clare {{{{{{hugs}}}}} to you. I know exactly what you are feeling and where you are. Three years ago I very emotionally told my husband that I didn't expect him to understand what I'm going through since I didn't quite understand what I'm going through. He's been very supportive and understanding. All I know is it took my body 11 years to start menstruation and it will eventually stop.

Take care of yourself and keep us updated on what your gynie says when you have that long awaited visit.

All the best to us all!
 
RE: Another possible premenopause discussion--has any o...

Thanks so much for the replies, Clare and Vickie. I have been reading with great interest all the posts on premenopause, as I figured that's where I must be at. Clare, I really feel for you. I know exactly what you're experiencing! I really try to be aware of where I'm at in my cycle and try really hard to convince myself that, even if I feel horrible, at least I know why I feel horrible and I know that it's temporary. Easier said than done sometimes, especially when you're really stuck in that horrible place that you're describing, Clare. My husband is really understanding, thank goodness. One thing I've found that helps a little is just saying to him, look, you know how I get at this time of the month, so just back off! It then becomes sort of a joke that we can both laugh about, and that really helps. I think sometimes that if you're just miserable and you don't acknowledge it and the fact that there is at least a reason for it, it leaves him feeling confused and you feeling even worse. It completely sucks when you're stuck in that dark place, but if you at least acknowledge why you're there, it seems to help.

I've been hyper-aware of what's going on with my cycle for such a long time now; my husband and I started trying to have kids 10+ years ago, unsuccessfully (that's a long story for another post--I'm ok though!!:) ), but I'm always very aware of where I'm at, when my period's due, when I'm ovulating, etc., so at least I'm never surprised by how I'm feeling when and why. These last two months have been the first time I can remember having a month where I didn't feel bad at all, and then the next month never getting that good feeling (what a gyp!!). I bet you're right; I bet I'm not ovulating every month anymore. I really hope the good months outnumber the bad months!

It's nice to know that we're all experiencing the same things at least. It really does help; when you're in that horrible, dark place, you really feel very alone and feel like you're the only person in the world that feels that awful. It really helps a lot to know you're not.

And yes, I'm sending big hugs to you, too, ((((Clare))))! And to all of us!

Take care and be well!

-Marie:)
 
RE: Another possible premenopause discussion--has any o...

THanks to you both, Vickie and Marie. No, we are not alone, and it DOES help to know this, and that this means, in a terrible way, that we may be in fact quite normal in this. If say 30 % of the adult female population in their late 30's and 40's goes through this, then that is actually normal. It doesn't help when my extremely straight taking seven year old daughter looks at me undressing and says, of an evening, by way of conversation, "yes, you're right Mum, you ARE getting fatter." then she slaps my butt, screams, "yes, this is getting flabby isn't it," and then compares it to her own, diminutive, terribly cute, high, rounded little butt! At least she knows not what she says nor why this should be painful to me. But she seems to know it's temporary too, she followed it up with, "but it's OK, right, because your period will be here any day now, right?" She's so knowing...and I hope this does not make her frightened about becoming an adult female case she has to go through this too. Mind you, my sisters never have gone through anything like this, nor my mother either. So there's hope my daughters won't. And that, that is something to hope for.

Cheers to us all ladies ;)

Hugs,

Clare
 
Vickie and Marie:

If you go to the thread Angela and I have been keeping on herself as "premenopuase poster child" you will see that I have found two excellently promising books which deal with female hormones and the connection to our moods, brain cheimstry.

I am finding the one I am reading at the moment to be invaluable: "Women's Moods".

I recommend these both to you,

Keep well,

Clare
 
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