Am I Bad ?

M

merrybaker

Cathlete
Does it seem bad that I want to go see my mom without my hubby ? I only see her once a year and feel like ,,I dont know I guess that Mother daughter stuff I never had until my last few visits with her I'm 43 and she finally accepts me for me and I feel guilty I'm feeling this way .. I would like to tell my hubby Him and Myself can go another time to see the city !! Help Am I selfish here ?x(
 
There's nothing wrong with wanting to visit your mom by yourself! My husband visits his parents without me sometimes. And I visit my parents without him sometimes. :) I wouldn't feel guilty about it at all!
 
No, not selfish at all. I way prefer seeing my family without my husband tagging along. It's not that he inhibits me, but it means I don't have to worry about whether he's bored, or judging us, or whether my family are concluding that he's weird. I can just be me.

My sister came to visit me from London a few weeks back and the best time we had was when she and I were alone, sans husbands, and were able to re-create the close sister relationship we had growing up.

There are always more confidences and special moments of true understanding when it's one-on-one.

The same applies to your husband and his family, so you would expect to not go on every trip he makes to see his family, no?

Clare
 
Why on earth must your husband go along every visit? My folks live across country from us, so my DH had to go along (also the kids...we had them right away:) and Grandma & Grandpa had to see them:)), but he would do things with my BIL's or my dad and I did things with my sisters and mom. Likewise when we visited his folks (only a little over an hour from us), he went with his brother & dad, I went with my MIL or SIL. And the kids went with whoever:). Now that we're down to my dad only, we have so many great memories of family visits. And whenever I get back to see my dad, we both go, as Dad and DH think a lot of each other:)

Go visit your mom and enjoy yourselves! Sounds like you have a lot of lost time to make up for!!!
 
I second Emily. I need a lot of "alone" time with my mom too. I think a mother/daughter need that time toghether. You are not being selfish at all.
 
Oh no!!! You aren't "bad" in the slightest!!! The thought that you're feeling like maybe you are is making me sad. Please, go spend time with her! By yourself!

I hope your husband can understand, but if he can't, go anyway!! And don't feel bad at all!!! The mother/daughter relationship is so hard for so many years, this is some payoff to all the work you both put in. Enjoy it.
 
Ty you all you kinda bring tears to my eyes ,I just dont want to hurt hubbys feelings either . But you all make me feel better thanks
 
Nothing wrong with that at all! I've started doing that with my parents. My DH was always so nice to them, but in my heart I knew that he'd rather be elsewhere.

So I've started going alone and I've told him why. I'm actually calmer (less stressed) when he's NOT there, because I don't have to worry about him being bored. He's fine with the the whole idea.

I think if you explain it to your DH, he should understand your reasons and not be hurt by them. Also maybe when you are there alone, if you didn't do any of the "fun" things that you do in the city you normally enjoy together (save those for together trips) he might feel better. Just a suggestion.

Nadine

~~Happiness is an Attitude~~

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