All in my head

[spyrosmom]

So I had previously posted that I had lost about 80lbs and still have a few more to go, although overall I am happy where I am and if I don't lose anymore, then that's ok. So, I know what I look like in the mirror, but the me I see in my head is the old me. I can't get the mental picture of the new me in my head. Anyone else have this problem? How do I get the right me in my head?

Hope that makes sense,
Nan

 

[LeanneM]

Hi Nan,

Congratulations on your weight loss! That is seriously fantastic, and you should be so proud of your work!

I haven't lost nearly as much as you -- only about 15-16 pounds -- but I have the exact same issue going on. I still "see" myself as the heavier me. What's been helping is to remind myself over and over that I'm no longer the same size. I haven't bought too many clothes in my new size yet, so I'm still wearing pants that I literally have to pull up. When I do so, I'll remind myself that the same pants used to fit perfectly! I have to sort of give myself a little pep talk, but it seems to work! ;-)

 

[RunninTeach]

Nan,

Congratulations on your accomplishment!!! You must look and feel like a whole new person. I suppose it will take some time getting used to the "new" you. Maybe sounds corny, but what about practicing some positive self-talk on a daily basis?

I can definitely relate. At times, my perceptions of what I see in the mirror are not necessarily matched up with reality. I think when you have lost significant weight, maybe there's a tendency to be more sensitive or perhaps paranoid about regaining. It's like your mind and the mirror play tricks, if you let them. But I am quick to dismiss these thoughts and remind myself that I'm still a work in progress and by continuing with a healthy, active lifestyle, I will get there.

Congrats again on all your hard work!

Edited to fix a typo

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"Do you want to feel my spatula?" Run, Fat Boy, Run

 

[LadyUnix]

hhhmmmm, that's no good if your head isn't enjoying the new you and you just don't feel like the new you!

I do have one thought, though. I lost between 80-90 lbs, and one night, when my family was watching tv and I was verrrryyyy bored, I put on my old fat jeans over the clothes I was wearing then and walked out into the room. Neither of my two teenage kids, nor my on my way-to-being-ex-husband had realized how much weight I had lost; their jaws dropped, they couldn't believe the difference.

My point......even in their heads, I was the 'old' me. My daughter, then aout 13, told me that she had a mental picture of me in her head, and that it hadn't changed.

I guess that night changed it. From her comments about me now, it's clear she perceives me as a small person.

So.....have you paraded about in your old fat clothes, and watched your fat jeans fall to the floor if you don't hold them up? Just a thought,that might help. Doing that not only changed my family's mental image of me, but made me realize just how far I had come.

Other things I did....I lay old fat jeans under my new smaller-sized jeans and looked at the differences in sizes. Buying form-fitting clothes really helped. Feedback from others really, really helped.

Becoming aware of myself as a small person really helped. I noticed, as I got smaller, how much less space I took up in my chair at work, how there was more room in the bath tub,how flying was more comfortable,how I didn't have to stretch the seatbelt so far when in the car, how a small towel from the gym could go around my body. All, all those things helped me feel like the 'new' me tremendously....how I fit in relation to the world around me. Have you noticed those things? It really helped me!

Congrats on what you've done. I really admire people who accomplish these things!

 

[dlavie]

Just another thought...

Change something else drastically, a small tattoo (even if in a private place), another piercing, a drastic change in hairstyle, different style of clothes to show off the new you?

Shatter the image of the former overweight self

 

[spyrosmom]

>Just another thought...
>
>Change something else drastically, a small tattoo (even if in
>a private place), another piercing, a drastic change in
>hairstyle, different style of clothes to show off the new
>you?
>
>Shatter the image of the former overweight self


Ya know, Dave, I have been thinking of a new tattoo. I was just trying to figure out where to put it. I can show them at my current job,but that doesn't mean it will alway be the case. I really wanted to put it on my newly muscled arm, but its not a real easy place to cover up. Or if I want to go to some fancy-pants social function. But that is definitely on the to-do list!! I want to get an Amy Brown fairy. I've got it narrowed down to about 6 of them.

Nan

 

[Timber99]

I lost 80+ pounds too and I had the same problem for a long time. In fact, sometimes I still look at myself and have this realization that I don't look like that anymore or "hey you look pretty good Christine" (it's been 10+ years).

After a little while, you will be in a better place with it. It's a very mental/emotional adjustment that we don't expect from losing weight. I think we get so driven to lose the weight that we sort of forget that our brain needs to catch up. Once we get there with the weight loss, our mental adjustment needs to kick in.

Just remind yourself every so often of your successes and be mindful of your accomplishments. Take a good look in the mirror & congratulate yourself on better health and an accomplished goal.

 

[meowracer]

Holy cow, woman! That is great! Congratulations to you - and not only have you lost, but it sounds like you have also toned. That is an amazing accomplishment - and I know you are proud of yourself. Like the above poster said - do something different. I would get some clothes that show off your new body. I used to wear baggy clothes and after enough urging, I tried on some clothes that showed off what I had. (Not sexy or revealing - just clothes that fit without any bagginess!) It made me feel so good about myself, and helped me realize my size because I was aware of it all day. I also tried to check out myself in the mirror, sans clothes of any kind, often. Got a mirror, looked in the back, from the side, etc. That also helps. And since it is summer, do you have a good swimsuit? I would hop, skip, and jump over to one of those places that specializes in swimsuits and have them fit me in the most awesome swimsuit and just parade around in that all summer long

 

[Sunshine 1528]

First of all - congratulations for taking charge of your body ! So wonderful to hear that you are living a healthier life than previously.

In reading the post about the old "fat" clothes, it reminds me of all the shows and ads where they show the person in their old clothes holding them up, and then in their new fitted clothing (as others mentioned).

How about putting up a "before" and "after" picture somewhere you will see it daily. Coupled with the mentioned self esteem reminders it may help you see yourself as you are.

I have a co worker who has been losing since last fall and she is saying that she feels better not only because she is now shopping the the "regular sized" dept. at the store instead of the "plus sized" dept. but that she can now feel her collar bone or the muscles in her abdomen when she lies down. She had lap band and does go to a support group session monthly where all the members speak of the changes related to losing weight.

Perhaps a support group or maybe an online group - what about some of those from the "Success forum" here on the Cathe board?

Good luck with your new self and you know you can always come to these forums for support too.

Congratulations again !

:7

 

[catwoman88]

I haven't read all the other replies, but here are my thoughts. What you see in your head will ultimately be what you are on the outside. So, even if you've lost this weight, if you can't change your mental image, you run the serious risk of gaining it back.

Here's what I suggest. Every morning in the shower, say, "I love being thin." 20-30 times. Also repeat phrases such as the following: "I love being thin!" "I love being fit!" "I am a fit, lean, sexy woman." "Thank you." (Gratitude is exceptionally powerful). "Thank you for my health and fitness."

Repeat any or all of these phrases several times in the morning and several times in the evening, and throughout the day.....especially while you're looking in the mirror! Say things like "Look how skinny I am." "Look at how sexy I am." "Look at my flat stomach" (even if it isn't super-flat).

Do this for several weeks and your mental image won't be able to keep from changing! Of course, continue these exercises even after your mental image has re-formed, and feel free to change the words, but never change speaking "in the present tense." In other words, don't say, "I will be..." or "I want to be..." Always say, "I am..." or "I love being..."