After 17 years of marriage there are several

K

Katerchen

Cathlete
things that bug me about DH.

1. He doesn't admit that I am three inches taller than him. He always tells co-workers "we are the same size" even if I stand right next to him. He says I am just highering the seat on my spin bike to bother him, same goes for my fitball - I bought it larger just to make him feel small.

2. He drinks too much, if he fills in insurance/physician's forms he always puts down '3 beer occasionally', let's try 8 drinks daily.

3. We never argue/discuss problems. When I try he says "That's enough, I don't want to hear it". We don't go beyond small talk and this really takes a toll on me.

But then there are the good sides:

1. He doesn't run around.

2. Supports me and our kids without complaining (I am a SAHM which I probably wouldn't do again if I had known/realized how dependent one is)

Thanks for letting me vent.
 
Congrats on being married for so long. It seems rare these days. I've been married 9 years and BELIEVE me, I could make a lengthy list. ;-)

I remember on my parents' 30th anniversary, my mom said she deserved a medal for staying with my dad for so long! I think any woman deserves a medal for putting up with any man for that long! LOL!
 
Honestly our marriage has gotten really good in the past almost yr... will be married 24 yrs July 3rd.....
Hubby and I spend all our free time together, we get along great now, but it took work, marriage is hard work have to constantly work at it.
Things are really good since both boys have moved out.....
Hang in there, things are bound to improve....Rhonda:7
 
Every couple could probably write a short list of things that bugs them about their partner.

Mine:
1) He drinks more than I would like, but not enough to get a buzz. Just enough to get a belly. Men love beer - what are you gonna do?
2) He doesn't put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher, even though it's right next to the sink.
3) He holds grudges and doesn't understand "forgive and forget".

Good things:
1) He's kind, sensitive and gentle
2) He's very trustworthy
3) He's a great father and loves animals. He can't pass a dog without stopping to play with it.
4) He's incredibly funny

His list for me could be:
Bad
1) I get mad that the house is a mess, even though it's all my stuff
2) I do what I want without asking his opinion, or if I do...ignoring his opinion
3) I always think I'm right

Good:
1) I'm funny and would rather watch Star Wars than "chick flicks"
2) I'm a great mother and I love animals
3) I don't mind getting my hands dirty
 
You could only come up with three things? Wow, I have been married for 8 years, and I could just go on and on! (j/k, honey, I love you!)

1.My DH also lies on physicians visits. He says there is no history of high blood pressure or high cholesterol or diabetes or any other disease in his family. Both of his parents have diabetes, his father needed insulin and his mother denies there is a problem (wonder where DH gets it?). Both his parents take high cholesterol medication. Both his parent have to take blood pressure medication. His mom has osteoperosis. AAAAAGH!

2.I think he loves his XBOX more than he loves me, and am afraid to ask him to choose between the two of us.

3.He farts. Constantly. I am not joking. At restaurants. With people we have just met. It is loud. He blames them on barking spiders.

But,
1.He makes me laugh.

2.He is a wonderful and involved father.

3.He lets me do whatever I want and he thinks that I am perfect.


He would probably tell you that I am bossy, b!tchy, insensitive and I think I am always right. But he is lying.

Ooh, now I feel better too! Thank you for starting this vent!

Missy
 
All right, I'll chime in here:

1. My SO plays an on-line RPG. When he's playing, I could run around the room naked, or strip down to sexy lingerie in front of him, and he wouldn't even notice.x(

2. He's very closed off. He had a very rough time growing up, and so he holds things in. Consequently, trying to get him to tell me something is like pulling teeth.

3. He often does things in a half-a$$ed way. He'll get the idea to start some project, and so he'll go all gung-ho and then just stop halfway through and I get to finish it, or it won't get finished.

The good stuff:

1. He puts up with me - LOL!

2. We laugh like crazy together.

3. There is an enormously satisfying level of comfort in our relationship and everyone we know says we are perfect together - because it's true:)
 
My husband would say that I am messy (my side of the bathroom sink is always cluttered), I leave tissues everywhere. I don't have CHAOS at my house and I cook pretty good.

I am by no means perfect but I wish he would be an involved father. In the eleven years he never took the kids to the movies or watches movies with us at home. On the weekend he starts drinking around 11 am, he is not drunk but he is not that patient with the kids. Therefore, I cannot go out and find a weekend job. To me he has signs of clinical depression but he doesn't see it. As the kids were smaller all I always wanted for Mother's Day is a few hours to myself, he asked "So, you don't want anything for Mother Day then? Be a mother!"

We got some life insurance for him, although he is a non-smoker they classified him as a heavy smoker - his blood results were that bad.
 
It sounds like there is something definitely wrong. Do you guys belong to a church that offers any counseling? My gut tells me that he wouldn't go for it, though. My DH was doing something that was damaging our marraige and I gave him 2 options. 1.Get help or 2. Get out. I told him he couldn't come home until he got help for his addiction. He ended up joining an "anonymous" group and has been doing well since. He has to see and feel how his decisions are affecting his children and his wife. He knows that I love him, he knows that I will support him and have forgiven him when he messes up, but he also knows that I have zero tolerence. I love him, but I have respect for myself and my children and we deserve better. We are a unit, we are one. We share our lives together, good and bad, but everyone has to contribute to make a family work. There is no such thing as selfish when you have a family. Him not admitting there is a problem is very selfish.
 
Oh my god Missy, I'm laughing so hard over here that I'm in tears. That barking spider comment was classic!!! I'm at work so I'm trying to keep my laughter silent but that's only making the tears come out faster.

Thanks for the great laugh. Sorry about the farting husband, I have one myself.

Tracee
:)
 
My poor DH has a farting wife. And, it seems to be getting worse the older I get! Or, is it because I eat better than I use to? He even bought me Beno, tried it once, it didn't work a bit (and I'm glad because I hate taking stuff like that). This is probably a whole new topic :)

Joanne
 
I'll play along too. I've only been married for a little over 1 year, but DH and I dated for 4 years (and none of that on-and-off crap) before we tied the knot.

The Good:
1. He loves animals. He's so cute when he baby-talks to our cats, and carries them around the house like little babies. :)
2. He can fix just about anything. He's an electrical engineer, and a computer geek and a car guy, so I never have to worry about computer problems, car troubles, etc. It's a great sense of security!
3. He doesn't drink. Period. He knows that alcoholism runs in his family, and consequently he won't touch the stuff. Good boy!
4. He never leaves the toilet seat up. In fact, he always puts the lid down too!


The Not So Good:
1. He has a bad habit of putting his stuff all over the house, instead of in its proper storage location. I'll find his tools on the kitchen island, his magazines on the dining room table, his pants in the office. (Don't ask) I'm constantly picking up after him.
2. He's addicted to computers. He buys a new laptop approximately every 6 months, although lately his average is down in the 2-3 month range. He feels he must have the latest and greatest, so he buys new ones, and sells his old ones (which are not old at all!) on eBay. It's a rather expensive hobby, since he never comes out ahead after selling the old one on eBay. He currently has 3 laptops and 2 desktops. Fortunately, he is going to be going down to 1 laptop very soon.

I give him a hard time about his messiness and his computer habit, but really, he's a great guy and I don't have too much bad to say about him. I'm a pretty lucky gal! :)
 
The barking spider thing is HILARIOUS!! I'm laughing so hard...that is just TOO funny!!! My husband is a farter too....everytime he does it he says..."did you hear that frog?" It's a quote from teh movie Anger Management with Jack Nicholson.
 
I'm in }(

BTW, barking spiders LOL. We call them ducks in our house:)

What bothers me most (after 14 yrs of marriage with 2 yrs living together prior)

1. His inability to give me credit for good ideas. He'll say how great my ideas are to my face, then i'll hear him sharing them with someone else as something "he was thinking"

2. His silent pout when he is mad or upset. He just gets silent and walks off. I'm a vocal person and want to get issues out and over with, i call this pouting LOL.

3. IN my house i call him MR. NO. Because sometimes he tells the kids no before he even hears them out. I say choose your battles.

4. WAAAAYYY to competitive. With me. Over anything. I can't stand to work out with him because he always has to try to outdo me. I tried to get him into running with me, and it was always a "race" for him. I hate that.


The good:
1. Very involved father, he coaches my son's baseball and football teams, he goes to all the events. And he loves animals too.

2. Can fix or build anything... I mean anything. He has literally rebuilt our home, put in an inground pool, restored cars, built hydraulic lifts. log splitters, you name it. And this is just a hobby.

3. We have fun together. We both like to be active, hang out, make campfires etc.... I think we'll be kids forever.
 
HAHAHA Yeah I have heard the barking spider thing a time or two :) After reading all these posts I can't decide if I am happy to be single or sad That I don't have a SO right now to complain about! At any rate I wish you all well and maybe someday I will find someone special I want In my life. I am 45 and set in my ways, so it won't be easy. Plus I had a bad marriage in the past and wouldn't repeat it for anything!

Terri
 
DH and I are together 14 years and I certainly have a list:

Bad:
1. His drinking is getting a little...questionable. He used to come home and have a beer, maybe two, to wind down after work. Now it's two beers and two glasses of wine...or two-thirds of a bottle of wine. Not enough to be drunk, but enough to have a buzz on. Every day.

2. He's very negative - never sees the bright side of anything, always the bad, negative, "it should have been" side.

3. He can be hypercritical - I almost ripped off his arm one day after I'd been cleaning the house all day and he came home and wiped his finger across the coffee table to make sure I'd gotten up all the dust.


Good:
1. He's a good provider.

2. He's organized and methodical - plans great trips, always has the taxes done on time.

3. He's a decent and honest person.

I notice that more than a few of us, not just Katerchen, have husbands/sig others who like to drink. It's a hard issue to deal with.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top