A Lesson in Perspectives/Cats and Dogs

lederr

Cathlete
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However. I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

This morning? I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but this time at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now...
Cat
 
I have this saved in my "funnies" first time I read it I had tears of laughter streaming down my face ..THAT is FUNNY!!!:+
 
I swear I'm convinced if my cat had a middle finger, she would use it.


Debbie


Everyone is entitled to an opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
 
This is a SCREAM. I'm printing out copies and posting them in the women's locker room at work, as well as making copies for my pet-loving friends. They will just die! It's all so true.
 
Lorie, when you sent this to me, I was ROFLMAO. I sent it to my dog-loving fam damily members and they loved it too. Hilarious!
 
Don't post much and maybe this thought is bizarre, but I can just hear the voice of Stewie from The Family Guy saying the words of the cat. Very funny!

Teresa
 
I read this a long time ago. Thank you so much for reposting. I had tears running down my face laughing so hard and lately tears are usually for another reason. Thanks! I needed this today.
 

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