7 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want a Hello Kiss

[aveggiegirl]

...and now I'm really sad. I picked her up at school today and gave her a hello kiss on the cheek. She pulled away from me and said, "I don't like when you do that." (I'm thinking, since when??? You didn't mind yesterday.) Last year she would run up to me with open arms and get a kiss from me. I asked her why she didn't want me to kiss her hello any more and she said, "I just don't."

I know it means she is growing up but it still makes me sad.

 

[Worknprogress]

I know......I went through that with my older two (22 and 17 now). Luckily, I have two younger ones as well (6 and 5) who still "love me in public" but I know that is going to change soon with with my 6 y/o.

I guess it is a Rite of Passage. We did it to our parents and now our children are doing it to us.

Of course it starts with this, peaks in the teen years when they don't even acknowledge us to hugging and kissing us again sometime in their 20's!!!

 

[Dela]

I would venture to guess, she is probably only concerned when it's in public, it's not "cool" or something to accept affection from a parent in public. Kids will tease other kids for anything and everything, and a kiss from your mom, is very likely one of those things as they get older. But maybe some alone time affection will still be acceptable .

 

[jackie7]

My son was like that when he was 7. I had to kiss him before we left the house. He is now 23 and still doesn't like my public affection; my 18 year old son has always kissed me hello or goodbye without concern. I guess they are just all different.

 

[MidgetDogg]

My daughter has never been a kisser. I can kiss her forehead, but I think I may have only received a kiss from her maybe 2 times in her life (she's 10). She does hug me, sometimes, and she likes to sit very close to each other when we're watching TV or playing video games together. I guess she must get it from her father, because he isn't the most affectionate guy (a big contributor to why I stopped loving him). It's just something I've accepted and when she DOES hug me, it means so much.

One time I had to break up a bad fight between my two dogs. It was horrible, they were really going at it and the smaller one (the instigator) was getting the snot kicked out of him. But he wouldn't give up, so I had to get physical with them. Needless to say, I was collateral damage and got a pretty painful bite on my thigh meant for the bigger dog. I was so upset and started crying. My daughter was just sitting there ignoring it all because she figured I had it under control (thanks for the vote of confidence). But when I started crying and asked her for a hug, she asked why and I said in a whiney voice "because I hurt". She gave me a nice big hug.

I've still got the scar from that, but the scar reminds me of the hug.

 

[story1267]

Well, that's an un-advertised benefit of developmental delays. DD - now 15 will give really nice hugs when she's happy and sometimes even in public. We have a funny little routine we go through if we're out and greeting or saying goodbye - I'll turn sideways and give her a tiny little ZZTop wave. Sometimes I can get a little fist-bump.

DS 13 will give hugs and kisses anytime, anywhere and actually needs to be reigned in sometimes.

I cherish each one. However I have also comletely threatened them with the pink fluffy slippers, curlers, bathrobe Crazy Mom routine if they dawdle getting ready for school.

Maybe the two of you could negotiate a Public Greeting Ritual.

 

[MidgetDogg]

Hey - that's a good idea. My daughter and I used to just give the sign language symbol for "I love you" when we were in public. Now when I pick her up, I just smile and say "what's up, little mama?" I don't really think there has to be a demonstrative greeting to share affection. Just a smile is good enough.

 

[pjlippert]

I'm sooo sorry. I know how you feel. My 7 y.o. son just started that this year at Summer school as well! It's okay if I kissed him on the top of his head very quickly when I dropped him off- but no more smoochies on the lips or hus in public. He makes up for it once we get home- then he gives me a big hug and kiss!!

Hang in there!!

Pam